absolute truth?

[Ironborn]

Somehow I have the same pitfall with many of my ocd themes. And hopefully you understand somewhat what I mean by this and or how i could best deal with this.

Namely, it is so that my OCD appears as the omniscient, as if I have obtained some sort of superior responsibility and insight through OCD. And that if I choose not to do anything with it. I will be punished for this forever (even after my death). (I am not religious by the way).

Until today I was often still able to deal with this, because I thought at those moments; I just go against it and if I have to pay for this after this life then so be it, but if my wife and children have a 'normal' father and husband in their life because of that, then I want to sacrifice myself for that.

However, now I have received a certain 'message' from the all knowing' fthat if I do not fulfill my 'obligations' which I am given in form of my superior responsibility and insights, that not only will I have to atone for it forever, but also my children, and that I pass this on to my children. So it will punish my children as much as it will me, because it started to notice i was ok with beding punisched myself.

This has meant that I can no longer hide behind the thought; I do sacrifice myself for my children.

What should I do now? I would like to think that these are all deception and false tricks from the ocd. But it really feels like THE truth in my case.

And so when I go against that, I constantly have the feeling that I am forever condemning my children to suffering, pain and damnation.

Please help!

PS: the funny thing is that this is all very much like religious ocd. However, I am not religious by any means, and all of this originated from these thoughts ....

[Caramoole]

2 hours ago, Ironborn said:

I would like to think that these are all deception and false tricks from the ocd. But it really feels like THE truth in my case.

OCD always feels like the truth, if it didn't it wouldn't weald the power it does.  Rumination is the main problem here and the area you really need to work on.  

[Angst]

Hi Ironborn

OCD is a diagnostic category whereby certain types and patterns of thought and behaviour ( obsessions and compulsions) are considered to be disordered. Obsessional compulsive disorder. It is is odd that a disorder can  provide all knowingness. Simply substitute the word I for OCD and I think that you will stop reifying OCD so rather than saying OCD is omniscient substitute this by saying I am omniscient. My obsessions provide a universal truth. The absurdity of the position should become clear  - the mistaken concreteness of an analytic category as a philosopher might say.