Scared of lockdown ending

[MarieJo]

Does anyone else have ocd obsessions around the safety and health of their loved ones, especially their children? I am getting really anxious now as I know the world is ready to reopen but I don't feel ready still for my 18 year old to go out drinking etc. I have very bad anxiety when he goes out so lockdown has been kind of nice for me. I also have anxiety around the health of all 3 of my children. Does anyone have the same obsessions as me? I picture them stabbed, beaten up, sexually assaulted the lot. I want to keep them under my wing but I know it's not possible. Everytime they are unwell I catastrophise around the scenario and convince myself it's something really serious and imagine them dying. I do not have health or safety anxiety around myself one bit. I feel like i can never get over these obsessions as the fear of any harm coming to them is constantly being reinforced by the news where so many bad things happen to younsters. I feel like i need certainty before I can be happy but i know it's not possible.

[CocoChanel]

Hi @MarieJo

Totally understandable. We’ve had pretty much a year of living within the safety of our family units, and imagining our offspring ‘fleeing the nest’ after this is even more worrying than before Covid.

But it’s a rite of passage that all young people need to go through to become fully rounded adults.

Try not to focus on the negatives. Think of this as just the next stage in their lives. That would be much more healthy.

[MarieJo]

36 minutes ago, CocoChanel said:

Hi @MarieJo

Totally understandable. We’ve had pretty much a year of living within the safety of our family units, and imagining our offspring ‘fleeing the nest’ after this is even more worrying than before Covid.

But it’s a rite of passage that all young people need to go through to become fully rounded adults.

Try not to focus on the negatives. Think of this as just the next stage in their lives. That would be much more healthy.

Thank you for responding. I know you're right but i just cannot seem to be able to cope with this. I have come through other OCD obsessions many times but this fear seems to be so huge I can't imagine ever getting over it. Everyone around me seems to be able to let go of their kids..i don't know why i can't. 

[CocoChanel]

You can and you will @MarieJo.

You know in your heart that your children need to move on. At the same time you’re having to cope with impending loss. This is entirely natural.

The more you let go, the more your children will be able to become their own people. And when they do, they will be able to be around you without the whole parent/child dynamic. It’s a win-win situation!

It took me a long time to let go of my eldest, but having fought my maternal urges he’s become a wonderful, caring, and supportive young man at 26. It doesn’t happen overnight.

Hang in there. Let go, gradually. You’ll be rewarded in the long term x

[ecomum]

I know how you feel, my children 12 to 27 have been close this year and I have had a year of not worrying about them travelling etc 

My mum was overprotective and it has caused me a lot of anxiety as an adult so I fight this every step of the way so it doesn't happen to my children.

Once they have been out it will get easier when you see them enjoying and living full lives,   like a lot of things the fear of the unknown is way worse than the reality.

I so know how you feel, its just another hard mum thing we have to do x

[MarieJo]

Thank you both for your kind and helpful responses. My anxiety has negatively impacted on my children already, unfortunately, but I do recognise this and that is the reason I sought help finally after suffering with OCD most of my life. I am always conflicted with the guilt of holding them back and the sheer panic and fear of them spreading their wings. You are right in saying I know in my heart my children have to move on, I just wish I didn't find it so hard. I struggle with change anyway. I even struggle to get rid of clothes they used to wear when they were little. Having OCD is so hard. I wish it was just a clean and tidy disorder like some think. Living with fear of the unknown is awful but this forum has really helped me with my intrusive thoughts and the empathy shown helps too so thank you xx