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Am I doing a compulsion


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I find myself on this forum daily, sometimes searching through old posts.

It feels as though I forget the extent OCD goes to and I have to read other people’s posts and experiences  to remember. I think of this as though I’m educating myself on the topic of OCD but am I doing this as reassurance? I definitely get that sense of relief afterwards but it just seems as though the information won’t stick in my head!

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Hi Cas,

What you describe does sound like a form of self-reassurance, like you're trying to make sure that you have OCD, or that you understand exactly what OCD is. It probably doesn't feel like it sticks in your head because there will always be the doubt and feelings OCD causes that bother you and it's those feelings that cause you to look back at old posts in the first place.

It really does sound like the OCD vicious cycle that unfortunately you will need to break. Only when you break the cycle will you feel less unsure.

Gemma :)

Edited by Gemma@OCDUK
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It's a bit of both often.  When we first get a diagnosis, suspect we might have OCD or are even worrying about a particular thing it's fairly normal to start researching it......and even at that stage, is often a compulsion although we may not be aware of it.  It's idiotic to think that we should never research something or even look to be reassured....otherwise we'd never learn anything....but we then have to become aware of when it us a compulsion and how damaging those compulsions are in our recovery.

I also don't think it's healthy to spend all our time surrounded by all things OCD....and many people do.  We have a lot of people logged on all day every day.  We have people endlessly searching old threads looking to find similar stories to their own.  Okay at first but very quickly it has the opposite effect.  It's wonderful that we can be part of a community that understands how we feel, that can offer support but it's important to have balance

 

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Thanks so much for your replies.

 

I feel a bit stuck at the moment, like I am not improving and maybe that’s because I am still doing some less noticeable compulsions. I have a major one which I do find difficult to stop and that’s avoidance, it’s got to the point that I hate leaving the house alone I find it a big struggle. Another issue is that I find it so hard to accept it’s OCD, I can certainly see past behaviours as OCD but this topic for me has always felt so real and so hard to get over. 

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So, do you think you could start working on resisting those compulsions?

On the avoidance one.....any chance you could share it?  Avoidance is a biggy and I've found the best way is to front it out & face it.  Walk towards the fear

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Once again thanks for your response Caramoole- my avoidance is probably deep routed as I have suffered with this same theme for 6 years since I turned 20- I unfollow people on social media, I look away from tv shows. I do this because I hate the feeling whether that be a grional response or panic- it usually sends me in to sad slump that takes a lot of effort to come out of.

I should be in therapy but I am scared to be totally honest 

Edited by Cas24
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As you'll have seen many times on the forum, there's nothing to be afraid of in therapy.  It's worth thinking a out it and asking your GP.

Re groinal responses.....it's not the sensation that's the problem but the meaning that you give to it.  Your privates could twitch or tingle for hours and it wouldn't harm you, it's only because of how you interpret it.

There's an awful lot you can do with self help.  Have you tried anything?

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I am not sure where to begin to be honest caramoole.

I recently was involved with the crisis team as I had a major depressive episode due to the intrusive thoughts, it was teamed with some pretty bad anxiety and I would just lay in bed and search and search for stories similar to mine. I am definitely better than then I get up get dressed and go to work. But i am still very sad even with medication - the anxiety has gone which of course worries me.  Sorry for the feeling sorry for myself post.   

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