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Getting Worse before Getting Better??


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Hi all, 

I've just been thinking about this a lot recently, this idea that maybe our symptoms/anxiety gets worse before it gets better. When I think back to a few months ago, before I realised I was struggling with OCD and I was performing compulsions left right and centre, I feel like my anxiety, ironically, wasn't as bad as it is now. I feel like I've (mostly) cut out physical compulsions but I do find myself obsessing almost 24/7, and ruminating is deffo my biggest compulsion that I need to cut out. A few months ago, I feel like I was regularly getting the instant relief from performing compulsions because they were so frequent, but at the minute, I'm doing much better at resisting the urge to perform physical compulsions and sitting with uncertainty, but I feel more anxious and low than ever. Is this common? Is this a sign that I'm recovering and OCD is just being a stubborn little so-and-so? 

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Hi Estelle,

It sounds like you're doing a great job to me if you're doing better at resisting the urge to do compulsions - well done!!! As for your anxiety being higher now, I haven't started my treatment properly yet so can't speak from experience, but it seems legit to me that once you cut our your usual coping mechanisms, it would go a bit AWOL.

I say you're a badass and you should keep on keeping on!

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I have likened OCD to a child having a tantrum. It is so easy for us to give in and give the child what she wants (do the compulsion). But, if you grit your teeth, the child will run out of steam and over time learn that tantrums are not the way to get what they want.

However, if you have ever tried this approach, you will no doubt be aware that, in the short term, ignoring the tantrum causes the child to become louder and more enraged. At this point, it is wasy to give in, but the child will run out of steam.

Same thing with OCD. When you start slowing down and stopping compulsions, the obsessions become louder and your anxiety level will rise. For a time. Press on and those things start to subside.

OCD, the petulant child. 

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You're so right @PolarBear !!

For me now, whilst I have mostly cut out physical compulsions, it's a case of slowing down and stopping ruminating, which I think is what has been keeping me stuck. I wake up every morning with that horrible gut feeling of utter dread and sorrow for the day ahead, afraid of what thoughts I'm going to have and what DISTRESSING compulsions I'm going to feel compelled to perform. Learning to take that anxiety along for the ride and quell my ruminating is what I'm practicing, but it's so easy for the doubt to slip right back in. It can feel relentless this damn disorder! 

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