What I never realised until now...

[FranticS]

I'm beginning to realise now just how much of what I thought was just "me thinking" throughout my entire life, has actually been the familiar cycles of obsession/rumination that are characteristic of OCD. Like when I was a schoolkid and wasted my entire weekends panicking about something 'stupid' I'd said the week before, or later on in life where I got myself into an unhealthy relationship and spent hours  of every single day going for walks alone in order to worry about it. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if my tendency to "prefer my own company" wasn't in actuality just me seeking the space to go off and addictively ruminate...

I guess the thing is that, since this has been a habit/pattern throughout most of my life, I'm now wondering how easily I can break that, and even wha t it feels like to not be stuck in these loops and to have any kind of inner peace...