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Feeling like I can't cope anymore...


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I've been suffering from harm ocd for a long time now. It's been particularly bad over the last few months, and I'm not sure if social isolation has just made things worse

At the moment I feel so disconnected from everyone, I feel like I've stopped caring about people I used to feel close to and, in fact, the anxiety and confusion has become so intense I feel like I'm having some kind of "bad trip" (I've never done drugs, so I don't know what that actually feels like, but I can imagine this feeling pretty close... :( ) I feel like I've completely lost any ability to live, love, laugh or function as a human being anymore...

I've just self-referred myself again asking if I can have an appointment specifically with an ocd specialist, but my first appointment will be a month away and I'm not sure i can last that long...

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Hi Frantic,

I'm so sorry you're finding things so tough at the moment. I think so many people have found lockdown unbearably hard, so please know that you are not alone. Have you considered joining one of our online Zoom support groups. They are free to anyone in the UK who is over 18 years old. You can register for them here https://www.ocduk.org/support-groups/zoom/ 

I know many people have found they feel less alone after joining them :)

Gemma

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Hi Frantic, sorry you are struggling right now. Social isolation is a very real issue, I’ve had some down periods because of it myself this past year, and of course OCD makes it harder. In addition to Gemma’s great suggestion I thought I’d offer some idea and things that have been helping me.  
 

One is to get out of the house/apartment/etc if possible from time to time. While gathering with friends at a pub or restaurant might be out, you can go for a walk in most places.  Not only is a change of scenery good for you, but exercise and fresh air also help.

Another thing that you might try are small out door meetups. Masked and properly distant, meeting outdoors is very very safe.  You can combine the two and go for a walk with a friend or family member, and just chat or enjoy each other’s company.

Video chat is also a good way to connect with people if you can’t meet up outside in person for some reason. It’s not as nice as in person but it’s still something and even a little connection time here and there can make a difference.

Also while I think you are ABSOLUTELY doing the right thing by reaching out for help if you feel particularly down and depressed and I hope you get that help soon, it also helps me to remember that it’s normal to have negative emotions sometimes, especially in situations like this.  I remind myself that it’s only temporary and try to find an activity I can do that is enjoyable or rewarding in some way.  Accomplishing tasks can feel good, so even normally not fun things like doing laundry or cleaning the bathroom can actually help you feel better.  It can be tempting when you feel down to just side around and do nothing, but I’ve found that being a little active (you don’t need to run a marathon) can also be a bit of a pick me up.

Finally, keep an eye on your diet.  It might not be much fun but I have found that making sure I’m eating regularly and including good quality food like fresh fruits or vegetables, and avoiding too much junk food, also makes a difference in improving my mood.  Of course a treat now and then is good too!  It’s ok to enjoy things and reward yourself from time to time, but too much can make me feel lethargic and contribute to my own negative mood. 
 

Anyway I hope you start feeling better soon.  While things might not be great for you today, it doesn’t mean it will always be bad.  There’s lots of things to look forward to and we are moving in a positive direction lately overall.  Not back to normal yet, but I really feel like the goal is getting closer and closer. Hang in there!

 

 

 

 

 

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Thank you both for your kindness and suggestions. I will try and join one of the zoom meetings, although they look usually to be at a time when I'm working.

I find my big problem is with rumination - the thing is, looking back, I've ALWAYS ruminated, and although my thoughts haven't always been as frightening as they are at the moment, I have always amplified every little worry in my head: going for walks, turning everything over and over. I used to think I was just a deep thinker, but now I realise I've been trapped in a habit that other, healthy, "normal" people aren't, and I don't know

a) how to not do that
b) what "thinking" is like without doing that
c) if I can ever stop...

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Ruminating is wasting your time on things that will change nothing. No matter how much you ruminate, you'll never reach the end or solve a problem.

What's it like not to ruminate? Quiet.

I did a video on YouTube titled How to Stop Ruminating by Dave Preston. It could help you out.

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Thanks @PolarBear- I'll check it out :)

Update: Thanks - that WAS real helpful (I was going to say it was real food for thought, but I guess feeding them is the last thing you wanna do). 

But what's the difference between refocusing and distraction. I've read a lot of things here where people have discouraged 'distraction' because that's a compulsion in itself, so a little confused as to where the distinction lies...?

Edited by FranticS
Update
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Glad you found it helpful.

So, distraction and refocusing.

Some people (not here) will tell you to distract yourself when you get an obsession. I've heard, pick up a book and start reading, go for a walk or even snap a rubber band around your wrist.

Two problems with distraction. First is practicality. If you are in a meeting and you get hit with an obsession, you aren't going to jump up and go for a walk. Secondly, that rubber band thing and others like it can easily become a compulsion. 

Refocusing means to refocus back onto what you were doing just before the obsession struck. When you get an intrusive thought, your attention tends to shift onto that thought. We're saying a good response is to then shift or refocus your attention back onto what you were doing.

It's sort of like saying to the thought, "Yeah, I see you, but I'm not going to give you the time of day."

Make sense?

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