Finally asking for help but very afraid

[Ocdhead]

Hi Everyone,

I have an appointment today with a bupa mental health person to get referred to a cbt therapist but I’m really scared.

I am 31 now and I think I have had ocd since I was 12. I only learned about ocd when I was 23 and over the last 8 years I have done a lot of self help and learning about ocd and cbt from this forum and break free from ocd book. The last 8 years have generally been manageable, however over the last year I have been having more serious episodes that can last a week at a time before settling down.

I have several themes, the biggest being pocd. With everything I have learned over the past 8 years the day to day intrusive thoughts have died down. The issues over the last year seem to be certain trigger events which cause flare ups. 
 

I am worried that the person assessing me today will think it’s not ocd or I don’t have it seriously enough because it doesn’t cripple me every single day and because the everyday thoughts don’t worry me as much anymore.

it’s taken me 8 years to be able to ask for help as I know it’s best thing for me in the long run to be able to enjoy life but I am really afraid to go through with it in case they tell me it’s not ocd.

I would be really grateful if anyone can offer any help 

 

[findingithard]

Hi.

I just wanna wish you good luck! Everything will be fine! Please do let us know how your appointment goes.

[Ocdhead]

Update: I spoke to a mental health practitioner and been referred to a counselling psychologist with expertise in ocd. I didn’t mention specific themes as she was definitely not an expert in ocd and just said “sexual obsessions” and ruminations.

I have an appointment with the psychologist on Saturday and I’m really nervous about fully opening up. It is so scary to put my obsessions with pocd out there. 
 

Does anyone have any tips or words of advice on how to just let it all out? I’m so afraid they’ll think I’m a horrible person or a danger or something 

 

 

[dksea]

2 hours ago, Ocdhead said:

Does anyone have any tips or words of advice on how to just let it all out? I’m so afraid they’ll think I’m a horrible person or a danger or something 

A few things. First, this is just your first meeting, while I encourage you to share as much as possible, if you don’t talk about it this time that doesn’t meant you can’t next time. This is a process, not a moment

Second, while your fears seem horrible, trust me your psychologist has heard it and worse  I had to admit I was afraid I would lose control and hurt myself, thinking they would surely commit me or something.  Helping people like you and me is what they trained for, it’s what they do!

Third, Writing out your worries might help. I find that writing out my fears and intrusive thoughts helps me handle them better and it allows you to take your time and make sure you have everything you want to say. 
 

 

[Sio]

Second this! Honestly I was terrified when I first went to get help in a mess and blurted it all out, and I was so scared they would call the police or something but it's not like that at all. These are professionals who are trained to recognise these intrusive thoughts for exactly what they are. And remember that the reason it's so debilitating to think about is because it's so far from what you're capable of as a person. Wishing you luck, and you'll be Ok! 

[PolarBear]

I was absolutely sure they would lock me up if I told anyone about my thoughts. I kept them secret for 40 years. I suffered alone.

When I finally asked for help, the session with a psychiatrist lasted 40 minutes. I spilled everything. He didn't bst an eye. I was officially diagnosed and I started my recovery.

Waiting is far more brutal than opening up.

[dksea]

6 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Waiting is far more brutal than opening up.

Wise words from a wise bear

[Angst]

Hi Ocdhead

Good luck today. Good advice on the forum. You have negotiated the BUPA referral process well and are well prepared with knowledge about OCD.

[Caramoole]

Good Luck with your appointment.  I know it's excruciatingly fearful to lay bare our fears but as the others have said, professionals know about this. Be brave. Let us know how it goes.  Thinking g about you

[Ocdhead]

Thanks everyone for your advice

Had my first therapy session this morning. I let out all my fears, all the events and triggers that have scared me so much about pocd and my other obsessions and I am so relieved to have let it all out. The therapist didn’t judge me at all and really listened and understood my worries. I wish I had done this years ago! 
 

I am starting to feel hopeful for the future that I might recover from this finally! 

[PolarBear]

[dksea]

On 03/04/2021 at 18:33, Ocdhead said:

Had my first therapy session this morning. I let out all my fears, all the events and triggers that have scared me so much about pocd and my other obsessions and I am so relieved to have let it all out.

Congratulations and good job!  I know it must have been hard, you should be proud for doing it!
 

On 03/04/2021 at 18:33, Ocdhead said:

The therapist didn’t judge me at all and really listened and understood my worries. I wish I had done this years ago! 

There are so many really great people out there who really do want to help others.  Its good to be reminded of it!
 

On 03/04/2021 at 18:33, Ocdhead said:

I am starting to feel hopeful for the future that I might recover from this finally! 

Thats great to hear!