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Quick Introduction and Q on fear


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Good afternoon all and Happy Easter!

 

My name's Harry and I've had OCD for more or less three years, but most likely longer I suspect!  I look forward to being an active member of this forum and hope to help a soul or two, and get a very pointers in return.

Before I start, I have recently referred myself for CBT and have ordered the book 'Break Free from OCD'.  I look forward to both, can't come quick enough!  

Anyhow, I've over the last few weeks really started to recognise my compulsions, even the things I didn't think were.  There is a lot of advice and tips on OCD, a few things I find contradictory here and there... i.e.... do you engage with thoughts, or not?  

Anyway, one problem I have identified myself with is fear.  Quelle surprise, hein?  My fears tend to be literally anything these days that is self-destructive.  I've noticed many people may have one particular type and it seems to stay within the confines of that theme.  Myself, on the other hand, I've had self-harm, harm to others, POCD, thoughts of being discriminatory and my most recent theme revolves around just being outright nasty on social media and to my closest family and friends.

In the end, it all revolves around fear and a fear of all that's good in my life will go.  Where there is a lot to lose, my OCD will latch on.

I hope to be able to make a start on my journey to beat OCD in the coming weeks and months with CBT and a few good books, plus good company here.  In the meantime, it'd be great to have a conversation with you about this aspect of OCD and perhaps a few pointers to get me on my way.

I understand these thoughts will be with me forever, it's just how I treat them and my sense of perspective.  The one thought I had the other days was... "how does one have such horrible thoughts and be okay with it?"  This is a conundrum I look forward to tackling.

 

Thanks all ?❤️

Edited by snowbear
Removed trigger warnings - we don't use them on the forum
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  • snowbear changed the title to Quick Introduction and Q on fear

Hi Harry and welcome. :welcome:

I've removed the trigger warnings from your post as we don't use them here. First off, anything under the sun can be a 'trigger' for someone and what triggers one person won't bother another person a jot. Second, it's important people learn that life is full of the thing they think of as a trigger and it's better to learn how to deal with that than to attempt to avoid getting triggered. :)

So, hi! I'm glad you've armed yourself with the 'Break Free' book as you should find that helpful in preparing for CBT when the time arrives and for referring back to when (if) you get stuck. 

17 minutes ago, UnivalentKey said:

Where there is a lot to lose, my OCD will latch on.

Yup. :yes:  You've identified something very important already. It's because you think there's a lot to lose that OCD latches on. OCD never affects the things we don't care about.

Themes often vary, especially if the thing(s) you fear losing change as you go through life. Thankfully, the theme is unimportant when it comes to treatment and recovery. They all get treated exactly the same!

21 minutes ago, UnivalentKey said:

I understand these thoughts will be with me forever, it's just how I treat them and my sense of perspective.  The one thought I had the other days was... "how does one have such horrible thoughts and be okay with it?"  This is a conundrum I look forward to tackling.

 

When you say 'these thoughts will be with me forever' it's useful to clarify what is meant by that. Yes, you'll always get unwanted or unpleasant thoughts popping into your head, because every single person in the world gets that.

When you have OCD you pay attention to the unwanted/unpleasant thoughts and treat them as if they matter.  You need to learn to shrug them off as 'just thoughts with no significance or meaning' the way someone without OCD does.

So you don't learn to be ok with having something horrible hanging around. You learn the something horrible is an insignificant, meaningless bit of fluff that it's ok to allow to float into your head - and back out again - without you reacting to it in any way.

Hopefully the more time you spend on the forum the clearer this idea will become. 

Once you've grasped the concept it's a matter of putting it into practice. (That's the hard bit, takes a bit of time and effort!)

Do ask if you've got any questions and have a happy journey to recovery. :)

 

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