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Basically, I obsess over my thinking, so I am thinking about my thinking all the time and watching and reading my thoughts. It is like I have an extra pair of eyes inside my head watching everything. It never ends and is exhausting.

Even nice thoughts drive me mad as I am forever living inside my own head, my brain never stops talking to me.

I just want peace. I am medicated.

It is like a hyper form of Pure OCD, like I am checking my compulsions to check my compulsions, OCD about OCD........ I know that my thoughts are my own thou but I am HYPER aware of my own inner voice.  

Edited by Caramoole
Trigger Warning removed
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  • Caramoole changed the title to When OCD goes META
39 minutes ago, The last Jedi said:

Basically, I obsess over my thinking, so I am thinking about my thinking all the time and watching and reading my thoughts. It is like I have an extra pair of eyes inside my head watching everything. It never ends and is exhausting.

Even nice thoughts drive me mad as I am forever living inside my own head, my brain never stops talking to me.

I just want peace. I am medicated.

It is like a hyper form of Pure OCD, like I am checking my compulsions to check my compulsions, OCD about OCD........ I know that my thoughts are my own thou but I am HYPER aware of my own inner voice.  

 

this isnt that rare, I get it too, I think at some point ocd gets more sophisticated, the mechanism is still the same though.

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There is an expression taking yourself out of yourself or sayings akin to this. You are focusing your attention on your own mental processes. So if you play games with an opponent such as chess your attention will switch to your opponent’s intentions. If you play team games such as football your attention will focus on the moments and intentions of your team members and your opponents intentions and the play of the ball. Some computer games could have the same effect. If you do a craft such as bricklaying or laying a stone wall your attention and physical exertion will be directed to something external to you. Walking in the hills will focus attention on the steps you take, the route and map reading as well as having physical exertion. Meeting people and having conversations involves an interaction with others and responding to the utterances of another. So do more things which force you  to interact with your environment and others. So you dwell  less intently on your own subjectivity, your own consciousness.

Edited by Angst
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4 hours ago, Angst said:

There is an expression taking yourself out of yourself or sayings akin to this. You are focusing your attention on your own mental processes. So if you play games with an opponent such as chess your attention will switch to your opponent’s intentions. If you play team games such as football your attention will focus on the moments and intentions of your team members and your opponents intentions and the play of the ball. Some computer games could have the same effect. If you do a craft such as bricklaying or laying a stone wall your attention and physical exertion will be directed to something external to you. Walking in the hills will focus attention on the steps you take, the route and map reading as well as having physical exertion. Meeting people and having conversations involves an interaction with others and responding to the utterances of another. So do more things which force you  to interact with your environment and others. So you dwell  less intently on your own subjectivity, your own consciousness.

I am going to try and read tonight, my mind doesn't shut up..... : (

Many thanks for the reply 

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