Dates ocd and being on my own

[Chirpy]

Hi there. Now my main problems is not wanted to be on my own. This is because I think something bad and evil is going to happen to me or a loved one. My ocd centres around making dates in my head and then thinking something evil coming after me. I know it all ocd nonsense but when the thought come they are not good. I have dealt with these thoughts for over 38 years. Some of that time I have not had them at all and other times they got so bad I ended up on a mental ward. That only happen once back in 1999. At the moment I am in another flare up which start last January. My thoughts are worse in the morning and by the evening I am almost back to normal. I would say I am not a religious person but these thoughts don’t not realise that. So I am always looking to see when I am going to be on my own and I then think about that time on and off all day. When I get there I normally cope with it but it puts a lot of pressure on me. I can deal with my ocd and I continue to leave a normal life. I hate waking up in the morning because the thoughts are there straight away. I was wondering if anyone else has experience this sort of ocd or do not like being on their own. I tactual my illness head on and I try not let it get the better of me. OCD is an horrible illness and wouldn’t wish it on any one.

[Chirpy]

Does any one else not like being on their own

[BelAnna]

Hi Chirpy,

That sounds really difficult and I'm sorry you're having a flare-up at the moment! 

I do have some 'magical thinking' and religious based thoughts (I'm agnostic!), which are similar to yours and I do hate being alone. I find being around other people, distracted by things going on in the environment rather than consumed by thoughts really helpful 

For the early morning anxiety-  you could try to eat something as soon as possible after waking as the pattern of it being worse in the morning and better later is likely related to neurochemistry and having a breakfast with some protein and carbohydrate can help with that, as can getting exercise early on. 

I hope you start feeling better soon. It's great that you tackle your OCD head on! 

[Chirpy]

Thank you so much Belanne.
I too not sure I believe or not. I think there is something but not sure what and I really don’t believe in the Devil, which makes these thoughts so ridicules. I think it is the unknown that cause my ocd thoughts and as you know ocd loves doubt. Yes being on my mind doesn’t help the thoughts at all but I can not be afraid all the time, that is why I face it. Like you being surround by family and friends does help but I sometimes feel they get a little fed up with it all. The sad part of all this ,is I have a lovely one year old grand daughter who I love to bits but because of my ocd I will not have her on my own over night as I feel something evil will happen when I have her, not caused by me but something else. I know this is irrational as well and I am missing out. I am going to face this fear head on soon and her her over night. I hate this illness sometimes but I could be a lot worse. I function well most of the time. I will take on board what you say about having breakfast. Thank you once again for replying. It means a lot Immy

[BelAnna]

23 hours ago, Chirpy said:

Thank you so much Belanne.
I too not sure I believe or not. I think there is something but not sure what and I really don’t believe in the Devil, which makes these thoughts so ridicules. I think it is the unknown that cause my ocd thoughts and as you know ocd loves doubt. Yes being on my mind doesn’t help the thoughts at all but I can not be afraid all the time, that is why I face it. Like you being surround by family and friends does help but I sometimes feel they get a little fed up with it all. The sad part of all this ,is I have a lovely one year old grand daughter who I love to bits but because of my ocd I will not have her on my own over night as I feel something evil will happen when I have her, not caused by me but something else. I know this is irrational as well and I am missing out. I am going to face this fear head on soon and her her over night. I hate this illness sometimes but I could be a lot worse. I function well most of the time. I will take on board what you say about having breakfast. Thank you once again for replying. It means a lot Immy

Aw that sounds so stressful to cope with! Magical thinking really is horrible (I have similar about thinking bad things will happen if I do certain things and I know it's really difficult to deal with).

Are you having any therapy? 

I wonder if it might be helpful to imagine looking after your granddaughter overnight and everything being fine- imagine how relieved and happy you would feel and how much it would improve your life. It's inspiring that you are tackling your OCD head-on - I'm trying hard to do the same too