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I was watching this video and in it this person was riding their motorcycle and they made this groan noise like they were in pain. I remember having a thought like “They sound like a a kid/young.” I tried to make sure I wouldn’t get a groinal response, and I ended up having one. Then I was like obviously they are an adult, they have to be old enough to have a license and what not and then I let myself be aroused by it, and I continued being aroused by it and I wasn’t bothered. I replayed the part again I don’t know why, I don’t know if it was because I wanted to hear them again like a double check or because I wanted to be more aroused. I feel horrible and sick to my stomach, what if I was aroused because they sounded like a kid?! Although I always have these thoughts, whenever I look at people or hear their voice I have thoughts like “Oh they look/sound like a kid.” They are always adults, they aren’t kids but my mind thinks they look young and interprets them as being kids. I don’t know if my mind just does this to make me crazy. I usually I just push it away and let myself be attracted to them and what not, but I’m terrified that this one isn’t the case, that my mind isn’t messing with me. Playing it over in my head doesn’t sound good because I thought they sounded young and then I moved the thought away and let myself be aroused. Even though I know they were an adult this entire situation makes me sad. Was it just a thought? But it was an intentional thought!!! Did it mean anything? I feel so horrible oh my god am I a bad person??!! I hope I wasn’t aroused by the fact they had a young sounding voice! Why else would I get aroused?!!

Edited by ocdruinseverything
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