First Post

[PolarBear]

To you, right now. To others, not so much.

Whatever obsession you are dealing with is the worst possible thing. Someone with a fear of semen feels exactly like you do, only about something else. 

You csn learn to make your fear seem as silly and irrelevant as it actually is.

[Blondie]

1 hour ago, PolarBear said:

To you, right now. To others, not so much.

Whatever obsession you are dealing with is the worst possible thing. Someone with a fear of semen feels exactly like you do, only about something else. 

You csn learn to make your fear seem as silly and irrelevant as it actually is.

How best to go about it though PB? I can't even be at ease in my own home because I'm so worried the notes I fear I've written are anywhere and everywhere. I'm a nervous wreck. It's taken everything from me and I'm so fearful I won't be able to deal with the not knowing. I only need to hear someone's name and I fear I'll write it about them too it's worse if I know their address and place of work because I think I've written that down too

[PolarBear]

What you do, in part, is identify what compulsions you do and start slowing down and stopping them.

When you do compulsions, you are paying attention to the thoughts. That makes them seem more real and scary. It also causes more thoughts, anxiety and doubt in the future.

 

[Agrippina]

Hi @Blondie. I have actually suffered from very similar OCD fears myself. I know how real they can feel at the time. Something that I have learnt from CBT which I find very helpful is repeating to myself "Feelings are not facts". So when you have these thoughts and feel scared, panicked, sweaty with fear, itchy with terror, shaky, etc those feelings are like your body telling you that you should be scared of the thoughts you are having, essentially telling you to react to the thoughts in all the checking ways you are currently doing. However, feelings are not necessarily facts - just because your body is reacting as though you should panic does NOT mean those signals it is giving you are correct.

So when you get the thoughts and your body reacts to make you feel scared that is the OCD at work. It is hard but you must tell yourself that just because you are having a physical reaction of feeling fear etc does not mean that that is the appropriate response - the OCD is sending your body false signals.

I am not sure how well I have explained it, but when I feel all panicked and my chest goes tight and I feel all sweaty and shaky with fear I tell myself "Feelings are not facts" over and over and try to distract myself. With practise it really does help because naturally we want to believe the signals our body is giving us regarding how to feel etc, but the OCD messes the connection up. 

[snowbear]

3 hours ago, Blondie said:

I couldn't imagine that me writing down that people are paedophiles would not be a big deal. I feel like that could ruin peoples lives and it's the worst thing that I could possibly write!

I understand. But that's exactly what you need to get your head around - that it isn't the big deal you believe it to be.

You've created a story in your head where you write something, someone reads it, and then...and then...

Everything that follows (in your imagined story in your head) is awful and unlivable with.

But reality isn't remotely like your story. None of the awful consequences you've imagined would happen in the real world.

So what we have to do is change the story we tell ourselves. Get it more in line with reality. It's not easy, because our internal stories get repeated so often they become totally convincing. But you have to start somewhere and this is a good place to start. (A good angle of attack on the OCD.)

 

 

[Blondie]

On 08/05/2021 at 22:17, Agrippina said:

Hi @Blondie. I have actually suffered from very similar OCD fears myself. I know how real they can feel at the time. Something that I have learnt from CBT which I find very helpful is repeating to myself "Feelings are not facts". So when you have these thoughts and feel scared, panicked, sweaty with fear, itchy with terror, shaky, etc those feelings are like your body telling you that you should be scared of the thoughts you are having, essentially telling you to react to the thoughts in all the checking ways you are currently doing. However, feelings are not necessarily facts - just because your body is reacting as though you should panic does NOT mean those signals it is giving you are correct.

So when you get the thoughts and your body reacts to make you feel scared that is the OCD at work. It is hard but you must tell yourself that just because you are having a physical reaction of feeling fear etc does not mean that that is the appropriate response - the OCD is sending your body false signals.

I am not sure how well I have explained it, but when I feel all panicked and my chest goes tight and I feel all sweaty and shaky with fear I tell myself "Feelings are not facts" over and over and try to distract myself. With practise it really does help because naturally we want to believe the signals our body is giving us regarding how to feel etc, but the OCD messes the connection up. 

Would you tell me a little more about how our themes are similar? Thank you for such a detailed response too!

[Blondie]

On 08/05/2021 at 22:48, snowbear said:

I understand. But that's exactly what you need to get your head around - that it isn't the big deal you believe it to be.

You've created a story in your head where you write something, someone reads it, and then...and then...

Everything that follows (in your imagined story in your head) is awful and unlivable with.

But reality isn't remotely like your story. None of the awful consequences you've imagined would happen in the real world.

So what we have to do is change the story we tell ourselves. Get it more in line with reality. It's not easy, because our internal stories get repeated so often they become totally convincing. But you have to start somewhere and this is a good place to start. (A good angle of attack on the OCD.)

 

 

Thank you Snowbear. I'm struggling to cope with life at the moment. I feel so sad and anxious all of the time and I'm convinced I've written this about multiple people. I try to tell myself the other story but it just feels a feeble attempt against what I believe I've done. I feel so lost.

[Blondie]

On 08/05/2021 at 21:53, PolarBear said:

What you do, in part, is identify what compulsions you do and start slowing down and stopping them.

When you do compulsions, you are paying attention to the thoughts. That makes them seem more real and scary. It also causes more thoughts, anxiety and doubt in the future.

 

I'm convinced it's not just thoughts and I have actually written these things though

[PolarBear]

2 hours ago, Blondie said:

I'm convinced it's not just thoughts and I have actually written these things though

I realize that. Thoughts can seem real. That doesn't make it do. You have to find a little fsirh in yourself and take the risk. Orherwise you'll stay stuck in a world of endless, pointless compulsions.

[Blondie]

I'm still struggling so much. I don't know how to cope. I'm terrified I've written this thing about various people and as a result I can't stop searching for the notes. How will I ever be able to deal with this some of the people I'm worried I've written about are pretty tough guys and I fear retribution 

[Blondie]

Also I fear if I get a job I'll end up dropping a note at work or writing about someone I work with or a customer

I'm so weird about so many things. I can't put anything in my pockets because I'm worried that's me putting a note in there, for example. I really wish I was normal

Edited May 12, 2021 by Blondie

[PolarBear]

I feel for you.

The only way out is for you to stop your compulsions and realize all this note nonsense is just a big lie.

You likely need professional help to get to where you need to be. Have you looked into that?

[Blondie]

23 hours ago, PolarBear said:

I feel for you.

The only way out is for you to stop your compulsions and realize all this note nonsense is just a big lie.

You likely need professional help to get to where you need to be. Have you looked into that?

I have PB, I'm waiting for funding to be considered for a specialist place in Oxford.  I'm so anxious all the time and I can barely leave the house.  I never thought my life could get this bad