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Being a student with OCD


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Hi everyone. I'm really struggling with the urge to check my university dissertation. I handed it in 2 weeks ago. Immediately after, I read it and found a few spelling errors. I now have the urge to read it all through just in case some huge mistake will become clear. I really really hate the uncertainty of waiting for marks. Every essay I've ever handed in, I get terrified that I've made some huge mistake, always check it (although, in the past year this has been much better and I have withheld from checking them at all in some cases) and they always come back fine. I'm such a perfectionist and I always tell myself that I need to get a first. Anyone else have this experience at university? I feel like I'm constantly aiming for firsts and it's exhausting - especially as this year I don't even need to average a first, because my second year results were high that I can afford to drop a grade and still graduate with a first. So I don't know why I'm so freaked out! Sorry for rambling hahah

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31 minutes ago, ab99 said:

Hi everyone. I'm really struggling with the urge to check my university dissertation. I handed it in 2 weeks ago. Immediately after, I read it and found a few spelling errors. I now have the urge to read it all through just in case some huge mistake will become clear. I really really hate the uncertainty of waiting for marks. Every essay I've ever handed in, I get terrified that I've made some huge mistake, always check it (although, in the past year this has been much better and I have withheld from checking them at all in some cases) and they always come back fine. I'm such a perfectionist and I always tell myself that I need to get a first. Anyone else have this experience at university? I feel like I'm constantly aiming for firsts and it's exhausting - especially as this year I don't even need to average a first, because my second year results were high that I can afford to drop a grade and still graduate with a first. So I don't know why I'm so freaked out! Sorry for rambling hahah

Hi Ab99,

That's brilliant that you handed your dissertation in despite the OCD. I did unfortunately have this experience at uni, to the extent that I became sort of paralysed by the fear and the need to check and then re-write and couldn't hand in assignments at all in the end. The fact that you have managed to hand it in despite this is great! 

It's good that over the course of your degree you have got better at handing in essays without checking- hopefully this will be useful going forward; Whether that's for work deadlines or postgraduate degree deadlines.

I hope everything goes well! 

 

Edited by BelAnna
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I had a similar ish thing whilst at Uni. It was around the handing in of the assignments and making sure they had actually been sent on the computer system. Of course they always sent but that didn’t stop the worrying!

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  • 3 months later...
On 15/05/2021 at 13:25, BelAnna said:

Hi Ab99,

That's brilliant that you handed your dissertation in despite the OCD. I did unfortunately have this experience at uni, to the extent that I became sort of paralysed by the fear and the need to check and then re-write and couldn't hand in assignments at all in the end. The fact that you have managed to hand it in despite this is great! 

It's good that over the course of your degree you have got better at handing in essays without checking- hopefully this will be useful going forward; Whether that's for work deadlines or postgraduate degree deadlines.

I hope everything goes well! 

 

Hi BelAnna, 

I'm currently in the same situation and as a result it looks like my course is going to be terminated. Can I ask if you were able to complete your degree and if so how? Apologies if this is too personal, I'm new to the forums! 

Many thanks. 

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4 hours ago, seracat said:

Hi BelAnna, 

I'm currently in the same situation and as a result it looks like my course is going to be terminated. Can I ask if you were able to complete your degree and if so how? Apologies if this is too personal, I'm new to the forums! 

Many thanks. 

Hi Seracat, 

No unfortunately not- I got all A grades for the essays/coursework/exams that I completed in second and third year but just couldn't continue so voluntarily withdrew from the second half of the first semester of third year. It was very frustrating as I had been given an academic prize for highest overall attainment in my year group in second year. I'm now hoping to start at another uni next year as a mature student. 

This is my personal experience though and I'm sure with the right help things can change for you. Could you take a leave of absence/authorized interruption of studies? Or appeal any decision to withdraw you from the course? OCD is a disability under the 'Equality Act 2010' so you are likely to have grounds for appeal- for example if you haven't received 'Mental Health Mentoring' support or if the University have failed to make adequate adjustments for you.

Edited by BelAnna
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17 hours ago, seracat said:

Hi BelAnna, 

I'm currently in the same situation and as a result it looks like my course is going to be terminated. Can I ask if you were able to complete your degree and if so how? Apologies if this is too personal, I'm new to the forums! 

Many thanks. 

Hi seracat, I hope you don't mind me jumping in here also - I'm a student with OCD too. I'm just working on my dissertation for my Masters. I've had both experiences - my undiagnosed OCD when I was 17 made attending uni too difficult for me at that time and I took some time out to get some medical support and work for a while instead. I went back to uni a little while later and graduated last year, and almost done with my Masters year. Studying with OCD is difficult but I think it just needs a little more planning and a solid effort to be kind to yourself!

I agree with BelAnna - 100% talk to your uni about having OCD. I've found the Student Disability Service at mine to be super helpful and they can make provisions for you. 

I have a co-morbid joint condition and originally went to them for help with that but found that a lot of the support can apply to my OCD too! I'm allowed to take my exams on my own with extra time should I need it. There are also assistive technology softwares out there to help with focus and attention. I have audio notetaker for lectures because of fatigue from my joint condition but it's helping with OCD so much too if I find myself engaging in mental compulsions and zoning out of class. 

Also, be honest with your tutors and supervisors if you feel able to. Working through CBT exercises too can help if you have support from a therapist or a book to help guide you. One of my problems was sending emails to teachers and it could take me up to 3 hours to write a few sentences because I couldn't stop checking. Working slowly to challenge that really helped me and I can handle it fairly well now (most of the time!) 

Build up to sending in your work to teachers, maybe? Could you send it to a friend to read over first? Someone you know and trust, then hand it in? When I had to hand things in as hard copies, I started to work down to being able to just put it in the submission box. My halfway step was that once it was printed, I was only allowed to check the page numbers to be sure it was all there. I made myself check less and less of it each time. The anxiety sucked, but I tried to plan something nice for myself after I'd handed it in. 

Honestly, the more I had to do it, the easier it got. Nothing bad happened when I submitted it, I have since made typos in essays and still nothing bad happened beyond a note in the comment with a spelling correction. A system error meant that something I handed in didn't go through and a lecturer had to email and ask me to resend it and it was all still fine. Nobody is capable of the perfection our OCD demands of us. :) 

For me, the key thing was to be as honest as I could about my OCD with the people that can support me at uni. And being kind and understanding to myself more than anything! 

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18 hours ago, seracat said:

Hi BelAnna, 

I'm currently in the same situation and as a result it looks like my course is going to be terminated. Can I ask if you were able to complete your degree and if so how? Apologies if this is too personal, I'm new to the forums! 

Many thanks. 

Hi Seracat, 

Just to say, in case my post made you feel hopeless, I think my case is unusual- I had already spent three months as an inpatient in a specialist hospital with severe OCD (with several themes) by the time that I withdrew from my course so please don't apply what happened to me to your own situation. Definitely appeal if you have been taken off the course. Hopefully Ivybasil's post has shown you that it is possible to get through this with OCD. I'm definitely not giving up hope of graduating in the future! 

Edited by BelAnna
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24 minutes ago, BelAnna said:

Hi Seracat, 

Just to say, in case my post made you feel hopeless, I think my case is unusual- I had already spent three months as an inpatient in a specialist hospital with severe OCD (with several themes) by the time that I withdrew from my course so please don't apply what happened to me to your own situation. Definitely appeal if you have been taken off the course. Hopefully Ivybasil's post has shown you that it is possible to get through this with OCD. I'm definitely not giving up hope of graduating in the future! 

Sometimes admitting when we need to take time out to recover is the bravest thing we can do! I find it helpful to think of "I can't do this" as "I can't do this right now" - there's always hope of going back to graduate if it's something you'd like to do! :) 

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On 20/08/2021 at 10:40, ivybasil said:

Sometimes admitting when we need to take time out to recover is the bravest thing we can do! I find it helpful to think of "I can't do this" as "I can't do this right now" - there's always hope of going back to graduate if it's something you'd like to do! :) 

Hello BelAnna and Ivybasil, 

Thank you so much for responding. I really appreciate you sharing your experiences and advice. 

My university is aware that I suffer from OCD. Fortunately, I have a Support Plan that allows me extra time etc. I also have a Mental Health Advisor and access to assistive technologies. Despite this, I've still been unable to complete assignments at the rate required.

I spend hours re-writing sentences until they look and feel 'right'. Even if I've technically left myself enough time to complete an assignment at my pace, which is often not the case as I'm a terrible procrastinator, the process wipes me out so much that I struggle to see it through to the end. 

The summer assessment period will be over soon, after which I'll hear if I've submitted enough work to be allowed to progress to third year. I'm not sure I'd actually be able to get through it the way things are at the moment though. 

I've interrupted my studies once before and am considering doing so again if permitted. I've been referred to CADAT and had an initial assessment but haven't heard the outcome of the funding request yet. If it's approved, I wonder if it might be worth delaying my return to university until after I've received treatment, whenever that may be! 

Thank you very much again. It's comforting to hear from people in similar situations, though of course I wish that none of us were! 

 

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Hi everyone,

I’m also a student with OCD. I’m completing my Masters part time while working. My company are part sponsoring me which actually helped a lot of my work related OCD issues, only to be replaced with others. 
I find myself reading through my work several times after submission, checking nothing has been missed, I also look up what happens if I fail a module. All typical OCD behaviours I’m guessing. I’m getting through things okay though. My work in my job tends to suffer more because of my OCD. 

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