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No Nikki, I won't reassure you :( I've given you quite a detailed explanation.  You need now to work on changing your reaction and working on resisting these compulsions, of which this is one.  You have the major role in your recovery, you have to try and apply the advise

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6 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

No Nikki, I won't reassure you :( I've given you quite a detailed explanation.  You need now to work on changing your reaction and working on resisting these compulsions, of which this is one.  You have the major role in your recovery, you have to try and apply the advise

But there are times when you just can’t stand the worry and fear so much as you know. 

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10 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

It's unpleasant but you can stand it.....more importantly, you can gradually change how you react to it.  I'm not going to aid you with your compulsions and help you stay feeling bad :(

I understand that Caramoole. I do honestly and thank you. I’m just feeling crippled by yet another blow.

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46 minutes ago, Nikki79 said:

I’m just feeling crippled by yet another blow.

That's when you've to get up off your knees, no matter how you feel and do something.  Staying thinking about it will just keep you feeling rough

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10 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

That's when you've to get up off your knees, no matter how you feel and do something.  Staying thinking about it will just keep you feeling rough

What is wrong with me? Why can’t I listen to what everyone is telling me instead of getting into a heap every single time. 

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1 minute ago, Nikki79 said:

What is wrong with me? Why can’t I listen to what everyone is telling me instead of getting into a heap every single time. 

I simply cannot seem to understand that my thoughts are enabling some sort of action that is harmful. I must seem so stupid and ignorant to you but this is where I get caught Caramoole: 

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3 hours ago, Nikki79 said:

I simply cannot seem to understand that my thoughts are enabling some sort of action that is harmful. I must seem so stupid and ignorant to you but this is where I get caught Caramoole: 

You don’t seem stupid or ignorant at all! You sound like someone with ocd. You know you can do it. You’ve done it before!

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9 hours ago, Hdigtts said:

You don’t seem stupid or ignorant at all! You sound like someone with ocd. You know you can do it. You’ve done it before!

Thank you mate. What happened yesterday just keeps going around my head, around and around. I can’t describe enough to you how powerful the thoughts and feelings were which made me so worried after. Like I’m not sure were they normal thoughts or bad thoughts that made me gravitate towards my child. This is why I’m so so scared and upset about what happened. 

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16 minutes ago, Lollipop said:

Hi Nikki sorry to hear you have been having such a bad time. What can you do today to keep yourself busy and occupied with life? 

I will go to work cos if I don’t I lose my job. That’s all I know I can do for now. 

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24 minutes ago, Nikki79 said:

I will go to work cos if I don’t I lose my job. That’s all I know I can do for now. 

Hope you have a good day and can focus on your work, so hard I know. 

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1 hour ago, Nikki79 said:

Hi guys I’m struggling so much at the moment. I’ve had another worry come over me and I’m not getting reassurance but I swear it’s going to kill me as I feel so down over it. I don’t know what to do.

Get on with your day the best you can. If you have work try to focus - I know this isn't easy. 

If you're at home how about popping out somewhere with your daughter? The playground, cafe, library just a change of scene. 

The anxiety will drop away, it has before and it will again.

Sorry you are having such a hard time. 

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1 hour ago, Lollipop said:

Get on with your day the best you can. If you have work try to focus - I know this isn't easy. 

If you're at home how about popping out somewhere with your daughter? The playground, cafe, library just a change of scene. 

The anxiety will drop away, it has before and it will again.

Sorry you are having such a hard time. 

Thanks Lollipop I’m just so weary. I am at work and I’m just dying inside. I don’t know what do, living my life like this is killing me and I’m gutted it’s affecting me.

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Hey guys I’m really struggling tonight. I just had a terrible thing happen and I feel so scared. My partner was changing my daughter’s nappy and my foot was next to her hip from where I was sitting and I had some strange thoughts and then the urge to touch her so I did with my toe on her hip. I feel horrible and scared and ashamed I’ve don’t wrong. I must be a bad person.

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Yup, the jails are full of people who have touched children with their toes. And don't get me started on knees and elbows.

You know this is OCD, Nikki. You had a thought and you tested. It's a compulsion. It's also completely harmless. You know that. 

You are letting OCD drag you down into the pit. For no reason. The disorder is lying to you when it says you did something wrong. OCD always lies. Don't get sucked in by the lie and spend days ruminating over this nothing.

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12 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Yup, the jails are full of people who have touched children with their toes. And don't get me started on knees and elbows.

You know this is OCD, Nikki. You had a thought and you tested. It's a compulsion. It's also completely harmless. You know that. 

You are letting OCD drag you down into the pit. For no reason. The disorder is lying to you when it says you did something wrong. OCD always lies. Don't get sucked in by the lie and spend days ruminating over this nothing.

Polar bear but I had some weird attraction thought before I did it, like thoughts I don’t understand or know what it is and I couldn’t resist touching her. Do you know what I mean?

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25 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Nikki, you've been sucked back into the OCD chasm again. You let it happen by taking the thoughts seriously. Now you're ruminating like crazy and look where it's got you.

How do I know what’s a thought to worry about and what is not? I mean it’s constant new ones each day. Just tonight my daughter bumped her head and I picked her up to hug her and and then as I held her and hugged her I got paranoid about where her groin was, was it near mine and so on and on and honestly I don’t know now. I just don’t know. This is awful

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Clearly that's an obsession. It's a random thought that pops into your head that you would really prefer you wouldn't get. It caused anxiety. And in response, you did compulsions. It's not hard to figure out.

No thoughts are worth worrying about. None. You need to see how ridiculous the thought is, wondering where her groin is when you pick her up. 

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6 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Clearly that's an obsession. It's a random thought that pops into your head that you would really prefer you wouldn't get. It caused anxiety. And in response, you did compulsions. It's not hard to figure out.

No thoughts are worth worrying about. None. You need to see how ridiculous the thought is, wondering where her groin is when you pick her up. 

But you see PB what happens is then I feel annoyed at myself afterwards for not analyzing and looking at it more as now I’m concerned as to why I worried in the first place. I was holding a child the way you would pick up a child when they are upset and I was kneeling and holding her up so then this thought came in and it’s all a blur after that only I’m upset that her groin area was near mine which it may have been.

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