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Hello all. Just an update and in need of some tips.

I have improved. Unlike months ago, I’ve been consistent with my personal hygiene and I’ve even been leaving the house. I do not take as long in the toilet, however I’m still long for the average person. I used to be 1 hour in the toilet- I’m now 30 minutes. But, that is still way to long. My goal is to be 10 minutes. My issue is number 2s. I honestly don’t know what it is but I can’t seem to be less than half an hour in the toilet whilst doing a number 2. I try to be quick, but I just can’t. I do have a history of excessive wiping and hand washing, although it has been cut down, it’s still not good enough. Help for being quicker in the bathroom?

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I think it might be useful to

Be kind to yourself you know that 30mins is a long time for you, also how difficult it is to reduce, so think about the fact you have already reduced your time by 30mins, this is such a success towards your aim, its not easy to do but recognise what you have already done, tell your self how much you have already succeeded, that you recognise how difficult this is but that you think about the success of this

Say what it is If you know what something is then say it even if it is to yourself, even if it is embarrassing, the number 2 is a number, for some people with OCD this could mean something more, but what you are talking about is having a poo or a ****, you are talking about releasing waste from your body in a healthy way, maybe attaching dirty to this or stinky or problematic or embarrassing, maybe we make it a unique problem, however releasing waste from our body in a healthy way is not unique its a natural thing to do isn't it, we don't really need to name this as a number 2, naming having a wee or poo as going for a number 1 or number 2 is actually accepted and understood but in reality this is unusual, almost as if someone was embarrassed to say aloud or wanted to be polite, I don't know, maybe you prefer saying number 2, that's your language which is fine it's just a thought, 

Continue the work you are doing if what you are doing is working, if you are having success then keep applying the techniques, if you are really struggling or think what you are doing could be problematic then speak to a professional who understands OCD

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Thank you for your reply. I don’t have an issue saying words like ‘poop’ or ‘wee’, I only censor them for the comfort of other people. Also, I do recognise the improvement I’ve made even if it isn’t perfect yet. I guess I’m just impatient cuz I’m been suffering for nearly a year, which has felt like an eternity. BTW, I am currently in CBT therapy and taking medication (fluoxetine).

I think my biggest issue is wiping after pooping. Idk why it takes so long- even if there isn’t much to wipe. I use toilet paper to wipe, fold it into squares then wipe back and forth until the tissue comes back clean. I’ve heard people online say toilet paper alone isn’t hygienic and how we should we using bidets or at least wipes- even though I was wiping with only toilet paper before my OCD kick started..and I was fine back then. It makes me second guess my hygiene (which is bad since I struggle with Contamination ocd), but at the same time I don’t want to overthink it cuz like I like I’ve been wiping with just toilet paper my whole life.  
 

There’s also times where I feel like I drag the toilet paper to high whilst I wipe my ass. I try to stop wiping once I reach the top of my crack, but sometimes go to high and feel paranoid that I’ve now got poop on my lower back. Idk if it’s me or the ocd but that’s another concern: when to stop dragging the toilet paper.

Last point, I feel like I can’t get changed with taking a shower. Back in the day, I remember times where I may have skipped a shower for one day, yet I was still able to change out of my pjs and go out (applying deodorant/perfume). However, now I feel like I cannot change my clothes (especially if I’ve pooped during that time), without showering first. 

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On 21/05/2021 at 13:58, Cookiedough said:

I have improved. Unlike months ago, I’ve been consistent with my personal hygiene and I’ve even been leaving the house. I do not take as long in the toilet, however I’m still long for the average person. I used to be 1 hour in the toilet- I’m now 30 minutes.

That is awesome progress! Way to go!

On 21/05/2021 at 13:58, Cookiedough said:

Help for being quicker in the bathroom?

I've had lots of issues around the bathroom--showers, toileting etc. Showers used to take me anywhere from 5-7 hours!! What I did is just wrote down every single compulsion that I was doing in relation to it, along with time it took and just really gradually cut back on the amount of compulsions. Is this what you did to get to the point of cutting your toilet time in half? Maybe you can just continue with that and reducing time that way?

Do you know how long it is taking you to wash your hands? Maybe you can slowly reduce that time.

22 hours ago, Cookiedough said:

There’s also times where I feel like I drag the toilet paper to high whilst I wipe my ass. I try to stop wiping once I reach the top of my crack, but sometimes go to high and feel paranoid that I’ve now got poop on my lower back. Idk if it’s me or the ocd but that’s another concern: when to stop dragging the toilet paper.

Yes I would say that's totally your ocd.

23 hours ago, Cookiedough said:

Last point, I feel like I can’t get changed with taking a shower. Back in the day, I remember times where I may have skipped a shower for one day, yet I was still able to change out of my pjs and go out (applying deodorant/perfume). However, now I feel like I cannot change my clothes (especially if I’ve pooped during that time), without showering first. 

That will be a great thing to work on. Are you working with a therapist at all? I've been trying to work on some of my own issues and have been making an effort to post daily here (in the Thursday Mornning Zoom support group thread even though I'm not part of that particular support group) Maybe posting  daily would help you to continue with making progress?

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4 hours ago, L.M. said:

That is awesome progress! Way to go!

I've had lots of issues around the bathroom--showers, toileting etc. Showers used to take me anywhere from 5-7 hours!! What I did is just wrote down every single compulsion that I was doing in relation to it, along with time it took and just really gradually cut back on the amount of compulsions. Is this what you did to get to the point of cutting your toilet time in half? Maybe you can just continue with that and reducing time that way?

Do you know how long it is taking you to wash your hands? Maybe you can slowly reduce that time.

Yes I would say that's totally your ocd.

That will be a great thing to work on. Are you working with a therapist at all? I've been trying to work on some of my own issues and have been making an effort to post daily here (in the Thursday Mornning Zoom support group thread even though I'm not part of that particular support group) Maybe posting  daily would help you to continue with making progress?

I’ve been trying to just reduce the time, but I’m not getting any quicker. My goal is to be 10 minutes in the toilet (number 2) and in the shower too. I’m kinda lost at this point. 
 

Yes I am having weekly sessions with a CBT therapist at the moment. It’s helped a little. I want to know other people’s routines when it comes to wiping after a number 2 so that I can try their methods. Do they just use toilet paper or do they use wipes/bidet? Is using just toilet paper fine? 

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In uk, people wash their hands with soap after doing a poo. We use loo roll and would never dream of touching the poo. Irinically , all the people who come from India etc will always use their hands to scrape the poo from their ass. As standard, toilet roll is not used in India. Even though they have recently come to UK to work, they maintain using their hands to clean the poo from their ass. Even though loo roll is available here, they prefer to use their hands. Its just about perception. These same people will then make our takeaway food etc and other foods like bread etc. They will handle the food, fruit , veg that we eat. We can't control other people, so it is irrational to worry so much about poo.

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16 hours ago, Andy333 said:

I don't feel cutting down the time is useful if you are simply carrying out ocd rituals quicker

It is actually highly beneficial. Reducing and delaying are the two key ways to work toward stopping compulsions. Those and cold turkey.

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As a general rule, the approach of reducing the time spent doing rituals is nearly always going to reduce the amount of rituals, rather than doing the same number but quicker.  It's a standard therapeutic approach and one that worked well for me when I was learning to challenge OCD head on.  Of course some people can go from lots of rituals do doing no rituals, which is the fastest way to overcome OCD, but provided we all end up at the 'recovery point', pace is a personal choice.

  • Step 1 - Reduce length of time doing rituals
  • Step 2 - Start cutting out rituals one-by-one   (doing step 1, can be helpful to then make step 2 happen)
  • Step 3 - Aim for no rituals

 

On 21/05/2021 at 21:58, Cookiedough said:

My goal is to be 10 minutes.

I can relate to this cookiedough, and my OCD was exactly the same (compulsion wise at least). I used to have a full 2-3 hour shower after using my own toilet, avoided public toilets for 10+ years because couldn't shower, but I got that down to the point now where I can use any toilet without washing my hands if for any reason like no soap for example. But most of the time I do a quick hand wash and in and out...   I don't time myself, I do my business, non OCD hand wash and out I come.   Happy to talk more about my experience if helpful for you.

 

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Thank you for your response. There are 3 stages to using the toilet: doing your business, wiping, hand washing. The parts that take longest for me are part 1 & 2. Sometimes I spend a while pushing because there’s been times where I haven’t completely relieved myself, and end up needing to use bathroom again shortly after just going. For this reason, I may spend perhaps 10 minutes just pushing alone. Secondly, wiping. I wipe until the toilet paper comes back clear. I think wiping takes about another 10 minutes. Then hand washing is about 5 minutes. To achieve 10 minutes in the toilet altogether seems unrealistic at this point. I know 25/30 mins is an improvement from what used to be 1 hour- however I don’t feel like I can be any quicker than that, even though I really want to. 

Edited by Cookiedough
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First off, stop pushing. Just stop it. Go when you need to. When you're done, you're done. If in an hour you feel rhe need to go again, go. Too much pushing can cause problems.

As for the wiping, under no circumstances should it take 10 minutes for the paper to come out clean. I suspect you are pushing inside. Totally unnecessary. 

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14 hours ago, PolarBear said:

First off, stop pushing. Just stop it. Go when you need to. When you're done, you're done. If in an hour you feel rhe need to go again, go. 

I know this  might seem obvious but this should be the aim.  Go when the actual "urge", the signal is there.  Going to the toilet to try to go is probably a compulsion itself.

It's a strange old topic because toilet-training, developing habits vary from family to family.  Some people do go to the bathroom to "sit" but it's not necessary.  Perhaps you could start by trying to only go to the bathroom only when you feel that you actually need to go

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 28/05/2021 at 09:28, Ashley said:

As a general rule, the approach of reducing the time spent doing rituals is nearly always going to reduce the amount of rituals, rather than doing the same number but quicker.  It's a standard therapeutic approach and one that worked well for me when I was learning to challenge OCD head on.  Of course some people can go from lots of rituals do doing no rituals, which is the fastest way to overcome OCD, but provided we all end up at the 'recovery point', pace is a personal choice.

  • Step 1 - Reduce length of time doing rituals
  • Step 2 - Start cutting out rituals one-by-one   (doing step 1, can be helpful to then make step 2 happen)
  • Step 3 - Aim for no rituals

 

I can relate to this cookiedough, and my OCD was exactly the same (compulsion wise at least). I used to have a full 2-3 hour shower after using my own toilet, avoided public toilets for 10+ years because couldn't shower, but I got that down to the point now where I can use any toilet without washing my hands if for any reason like no soap for example. But most of the time I do a quick hand wash and in and out...   I don't time myself, I do my business, non OCD hand wash and out I come.   Happy to talk more about my experience if helpful for you.

 

@Ashley sorry to barge in on this thread but I wondered if you could offer some more info on how you managed to get to that point, mentally- as I struggle with very similar issues and am at the point you were before you got better. I’d love to know how you managed breaking that barrier!

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Hi Ziggy,

Which part do you mean, not needing to bath/shower after using the loo? 

It sort of happened in phases over quite a long time, I did a challenge here and another there which all eventually led to where I am now with that issue. 

I knew I needed to take action but I didn't quite feel ready to take action.  Then one day it was late at night (11pm'ish) and my then flatmate had gone to bed and I needed the loo, but I knew if I started having a bath at that point my flatmate would be angry, so for some reason that day I felt more up for it then ever so I just used the loo, I washed my hands but didn't have a bath.   I wish I know why I felt able to that day, perhaps a combination of factors late at night/flatmate in bed/feeling empowered after the day at Millwall watching my team!   

Had it been 3pm and my flatmate not been in bed, maybe I would not have had the same feeling of needing to avoid making a noise and I would have done my usual rituals.

That allowed me to start to use the loo again without showering, but I still had some anxiety so few months later I took the next step which was to put my hand into toilet water without washing my hands after.  Again with that, left to my own devices I might not have done it, but I had agreed to do it as part of a therapist training day, and so that gave me the little nudge I needed and I was able to do it.  The weird thing is I had so much anxiety prior to that day knowing I was going to have to do this, but because I chose to do the exercise, my anxiety faded within minutes of the exercise.

Most people perhaps do two big exercises like that as part of a course of therapy without the huge gap of months in-between, but that's how I ended up at this point I guess.

Hopefully that explains a little, although I am not sure if my journey helps you but fingers crossed you manage to get to your end goal in time :)

 

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The poop has already been in your body so are you afraid it might get inside again? It’s already been there & didn’t cause you any harm. So no need to be excessive about it. 
 

Wet wipes are definitely better than dry. If one gets poop on their hands do they wipe it off with a tissue? No, they wash it off. Plus, it’s much faster. 

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1) I would only shower when you really need to shower 

2) only use toilet when you know you need to go

3) I only wipe three times and that’s it.. I got stuck on wiping several times and it made me sore 

4) good practice to wash hands after use of toilet but only once

well done on reducing so far.. keep up the good work

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15 hours ago, Ashley said:

because I chose to do the exercise, my anxiety faded within minutes of the exercise

I think that's key.

Just by making the choice to do it you're mentally in the right place and already half way to success. :yes:

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