Routines and change

[MartaB]

Hi everyone, 

I have been quite strict with my daily routine for the last few months (sleeping, cleaning the house, working, training, studying, cooking, eating, etc) . With the restrictions, I have spent most of my time alone, with my boyfriend, two close friends or with some relatives. 

I am finding difficult to interact with other people or to be away from home for a few days. 

I feel really lonely when I am alone at home but I feel safe. When I am with people and I am having a good time I feel strange, I like it but I have the feeling I am "broken" and they are OK. Then, when I have to go back home I feel really bad. It's as if I didn't want to be alone again, I didn't want the previous situation to end or to change... After a while it goes away and I adapt to going back to my routines again (I like being on my own) . But I have never felt this before. I don't get what's going on. Any advice? 

 

Thanks

[Gemma@OCDUK]

Hi Marta,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I think lockdown has meant that most people are finding adjusting to socialising again hard, whether that be because they aren't used to it or because they are placing too many expectations on themselves to just be used to it again. You mentioned that sometimes you feel like you're broken but that others are OK, do you think that maybe you're making a judgement of your internal self and feelings based on the outward appearances of others? I only ask because this is really common. Most of the time how we are feeling is actually what many others are feeling and sometimes opening up and sharing with others will help you realise that you are not alone. 

Try your best to be compassionate with yourself, you and the world have been through a lot and it will take time to adjust again

Gemma

[MartaB]

Hi Gemma,

Thanks so much. What you said sounds like me 100%. My therapist mentions my high expectations in almost every session. I wasn't able to see it that way. Thank you so much for your comment. It was really helpful.

[ecomum]

I asked this question a while back and the lovely advice I received was to work up to it gradually .one step at a time .it helped me so much .

[MartaB]

Thank you, ecomum. I am working on it already, without so many expectations and it is going better :).