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13yo daughter in distress


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I have so many thoughts, feelings and questions, I don't know where to start.

My daughter, now 13 has suffered for a couple of years (maybe as much as 3) with an official diagnosis coming in September time 2019 and subsequent medication.  It took her to be self harming and thinking about suicide to get a diagnosis and meds even though we'd been in CAMHS system since 2018.  After a few months things calmed down a bit and we had some control but her therapy with CAMHS has been focussed around general mindfulness and coping strategies rather than working on CBT to help, and a lot of this has been driven by her.  we got the point in January this year where things seemed pretty stable and she stopped seeing her mental health nurse and had meetings with the psych (which are really only for med review) every 12 weeks.  Then a few weeks ago something triggered her and things have got bad again.  She is self harming in response to her bully telling her to do so or her friend will die.  She's back seeing the mh nurse weekly, 6 week review with psych and increase in meds but it feels like we're in the depths of a low period at the moment and I can't get her out of it.  I've removed all sharps from her room and don't leave her alone in the house.  She's spending more time with me in the same room as me, but she's a teenager, and doesn't want to do this.  I've tried to get her to engage in self-help activities, but at times when she's not thinking about OCD she doesn't want to think about it.  We have an emergency appointment at CAMHS tomorrow to develop a safety plan it's that bad atm.  The intrussive thoughts are horrible, the self injury is horrible, the panic and fear are horrible.  

 

There are no support groups where I am, and limited services other than CAMHS - I can't engage in private therapy for her at this stage, our options are limited.  i understand compared to the UK I'm lucky we are in the system as the waiting lists on the mainland are massive.

 

I haven't helped anything by facilitating with reassurance, but I'm so scared that I'll cause too much further distress by not doing so, I don't know where to start. I'm minded that I should get her out of crisis stage first.

I just feel like crying today.

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Hi Alison,

I can understand that you must feel like crying, the stress of this situation must be such a lot to cope with. Please take a moment, however small just to do some self-care for you, because you need it as much as your daughter does. 

It's sounds like you're taking all the right steps and I hope that the safety plan you make with CAMHS tomorrow helps to give you a clear idea of what steps to take. If there is anything you're unsure about, like whether or not to give reassurance, try to write it down so that you can ask the team at CAMHS how best to deal with those situations when they arise. 

It might be work discussing with your local CAMHS whether or not they will offer your daughter more CBT for OCD and if not you could talk to them about a possible referral to the specialist Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Service https://www.slam.nhs.uk/national-services/child-and-adolescent-services/camhs-ocd/ in South London. A referral there would require your local health board to fund it, but it's an option that you could possibly explore. 

Gemma :) 

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  • 1 month later...

Hi Alison,

How’s it going?  I have just come across your post whilst looking for a parent support forum. 
 

My daughter is 13 too, diagnosed in 2019 with OCD, Anxiety and ADHD.  Initially, she attended group therapy at age 11 which progressed to 1:1 CBT at 12.  It really helped her intrusive thoughts and some of the OCD around urine, which has been the thread of her OCD throughout.  She did so well that they discharged her just over a year ago. However it’s back with a vengeance (not that it ever went away completely).  I am challenging the compulsions but feel like we’ve hit a wall and just can’t get through it. We are regularly at crisis point, daily. 
 

Anyway, I’ve referred her back to EWMHS. Now awaiting an appointment.  I just thought I’d say hi as your post resonated with me. 
 

Hope your girl is ok. 

Natalie x

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