FEELING LOST

[Madchoc]

Hi, hope you’re all well, I haven’t posted anything for a while. 
since my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s I feel lost, she has always been my rock. It seems it is a slow progression Alzheimer’s, thankfully.I haven’t been out of my house for about 5/6 weeks but went to my parents house on Wednesday, on the way home I saw something in the road, kerbside. It caught my eye because it was a reddish colour in a clear opened plastic container As there is a big supermarket in that area my first thought was it’s raw meat, one of my many fears. I did go back on myself to check it again but still couldn’t be sure.. By the time I’d got home I had convinced myself that it was raw meat maybe mince, and my tyres, passenger side had run over it. Then as I walked past my parked car, I felt extremely contaminated, particularly my shoes. When I got in I stripped off and had a excruciating shower, my husband puts my shoes away for me as I darent touch them. Then ever since I have not wanted him to go into the cupboard,  it terrifies me. Then as my husband had been in the treats cupboard I darent have anything to eat out of there. I just connect too many things. My fear was that it was a very hot day returning from my parents and I worry about food poisoning. I know it sounds ludicrous but I am struggling at the moment. 
Thanks for reading.Take care .x

 

 

 

[Madchoc]

Hi any advice from anyone please.x

[Lollipop]

Hi @Madchoc

Are you seeing a therapist at the moment to discuss this with? I think I remember you saying you have seen a therapist previously, on the work you have done from that situation what would they say you need to do with this? Could you do any of those steps to challenge this worry? If you've done theory A / theory B how does that apply to this situation? If you've not ignore me!

Can I ask why haven't you been out for 5 or 6 weeks?

Do take care and look after yourself. 

p.s. I have had to try so hard not to offer reassurance in this post it must be so hard for our loved ones

 

 

[Madchoc]

Thank you for your reply, due to the corona virus I only spoke on the phone to my therapist, didn’t really help much though. However he has been to see me but has decided to put me back on his waiting list for now, then I can start my sessions again and not lose any.Take care too xx

 

[BelAnna]

On 06/06/2021 at 22:39, Madchoc said:

Thank you for your reply, due to the corona virus I only spoke on the phone to my therapist, didn’t really help much though. However he has been to see me but has decided to put me back on his waiting list for now, then I can start my sessions again and not lose any.Take care too xx

 

Hi Madchoc,

I'm so sorry to hear that your Mum has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's- are you feeling a lot more anxious because of this? I can imagine it's a big shock.

This incident with the container would bother me too as I have similar fears with raw meat however realistically you would need to straightforwardly lick the packaging or your tyres to fall ill as you need to ingest a sufficient amount of bacteria to get food poisoning. The pavement for example is absolutely covered in bacteria but as we don't lick our shoes so we don't get ill (that's not to say that you would necessarily get sick from licking the back of your shoes but obviously it's theoretically possible).

How are you coping now?

[Madchoc]

Hi BelAnna, thanks for your reply, I am trying to be strong and carry on. I am on Sertraline at the moment, for years I was on seroxat . I feel that my mood is low and I could do with a bit of a lift. So could my confidence. Hop you are ok and we’ll , take care. X

[BelAnna]

56 minutes ago, Madchoc said:

Hi BelAnna, thanks for your reply, I am trying to be strong and carry on. I am on Sertraline at the moment, for years I was on seroxat . I feel that my mood is low and I could do with a bit of a lift. So could my confidence. Hop you are ok and we’ll , take care. X

How are you finding Sertraline? I've thought about trying it (and even had some Sertraline sitting in my draw for 5 years but didn't take any!) but I'm not sure about SSRis. Has it helped so far?

[Madchoc]

Hi sorry BelAnna only just seen your message, I haven’t had much improvement with Sertraline. 
It hasn’t helped my low mood at all, perhaps I need to talk with my doctor.

Take care x

[malina]

Hey @Madchoc,

I'm sorry to hear about your mum and the hard time you're going through.

I'm sorry to say this, but you need to realise that your fears are completely irrational and that you have to stop avoiding the things that scare you, because they won't hurt you. Your husband, family and literally everybody else encounter raw meat and are fine with it. Nobody has to have a shower after thinking they passed by raw meat in their car.

I really feel for you, you seem like a lovely person and I can see how restricted your life has become because of OCD. I think you need to muster the courage to start really listening and accept that you are handling this in the wrong way, that you have to let go of these behaviours (showering, avoidance), which you think keep you safe, becuse they are causing you more harm.

Stay strong, Madchoc!

[Madchoc]

Thanks Malina for your kind reply, I know I’ve got to stop avoiding You make a lot of sense.

Take care xx

[malina]

28 minutes ago, Madchoc said:

Thanks Malina for your kind reply, I know I’ve got to stop avoiding You make a lot of sense.

Take care xx

Hey Madchoc,

you're welcome! I am glad you realise that you need to stop, but how are you going to do it? This is something you need to work on gradually but consistently, it won't come at once. You need a realistic plan. A good starting point would be to begin therapy,  are you willing to do that?

[Madchoc]

Hi I have got to wait for more therapy due to pandemic, but I’m still on the list. Home visits again hopefully. 
Take care x

[BelAnna]

21 hours ago, Madchoc said:

Hi sorry BelAnna only just seen your message, I haven’t had much improvement with Sertraline. 
It hasn’t helped my low mood at all, perhaps I need to talk with my doctor.

Take care x

Oh no, that's ashame Madchoc! It might be a good idea to ask for a different medication. Hope you're coping ok just now!