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Fear of going to the GP Practice and Covid jab tonight! (has anyone else struggled with this?)


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Hi All, 

I have my second Covid vaccination booked for tonight (first Pfizer, as I had the AZ for my first) at our GP Practice. I am very scared of going to the GP Practice and managed it last time (for my first jab) with a lot of compulsions. Prior to that I hadn't been to the GP Practice for several years. I've made my appointment one of the last ones of the day so that there are no normal GP clinics open/appointments at the same time there, so hopefully that reduces my chance of bumping into/walking past someone who is ill.

My main fear (as many of the regular forum members might know) is of Norovirus and I'm actually more worried about it this time as cases of non-covid Winter viruses (flus, norovirus, colds) are circulating more than they usually do in the summer because of the recent easing of restrictions.

I'm terrified of seeing vomit, someone vomiting, being close to someone who tells someone they've recently had a stomach bug (in case I contract it), of walking past the 'Isolation Room' and 'Toilets' in the waiting area because someone may have thrown up in either of those places or the doors/door handles may be contaminated with Norovirus and even of seeing yellow 'wet floor signs' as it might mean that the staff there have recently mopped up some vomit. My level of fear is the same as it would be with any phobia but the compulsions that I complete afterwards are pretty much the same as with any other type of contamination-OCD (leaving my shoes outside, asking family members to give me hand sanitizer (so I don't touch the packet), disposing of or bagging up my clothes, showering for hours) and my fear is of contracting infection so if I knew that seeing vomit/someone vomiting wouldn't cause me to become ill, I don't think I would be feeling so afraid! 

Has anyone struggled with similar when going for their vaccination? 

An added worry is that I can only go with someone accompanying me (to help me stay there and for reassurance) but I'm a grown woman and it looks so silly to go with a family member and I worry that the way I react to things (e.g. asking my Dad to avoid bumping into things in the waiting area, asking for reassurance) makes me look as though I am very strange and I'm worried about people judging me and/or seeing someone I know! 

 

Edited by BelAnna
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You've done it before BelAnna and you'll manage tonight :)

There's a lot of reassurance seeking in that post and I'm not sure what specifically you're asking for other than that.  You can't change much before tonight, just bite the bullet, do your best to get through it and then really determine to make your current therapy work by challenging these phobic/compulsive responses 

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Bite the bullet was exactly what I was going to say when I came into reply! 

You can so this. You've done it before. The more you do these things the easier they will become.

You will feel anxious but it will pass ?

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27 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

You've done it before BelAnna and you'll manage tonight :)

There's a lot of reassurance seeking in that post and I'm not sure what specifically you're asking for other than that.  You can't change much before tonight, just bite the bullet, do your best to get through it and then really determine to make your current therapy work by challenging these phobic/compulsive responses 

Thank you Caramoole! :)

I really wasn't looking for reassurance (but can see it might come across like that) as I know it's unhelpful and also that it's not possible to provide reassurance for this really. I'm a bit worried that if something triggers my Emetophobia very badly I might run away (this happened once in the past when I was waiting in our local minor injuries unit and someone vomited so I bolted!). It's been 12 weeks since my first vaccination though so I really need to get it done tonight.

10 minutes ago, Lollipop said:

Bite the bullet was exactly what I was going to say when I came into reply! 

You can so this. You've done it before. The more you do these things the easier they will become.

You will feel anxious but it will pass ?

Thanks Lollipop :)

One thing that made me feel safe last time was that I knew that most people were not mixing and spreading viruses around because we were in Lockdown whereas now that things are back to normal and viruses are spreading again, it is more of a challenge! I do just need to get on with it and like you say hopefully these things will get easier with practise. It would be great if I could go for routine GP appointments when needed and for asthma clinic reviews. 

Edited by BelAnna
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28 minutes ago, BelAnna said:

It would be great if I could go for routine GP appointments when needed and for asthma clinic reviews. 

Hi BelAnna,

I highlighted this part of what you said because I think that it's really important that you keep this goal in mind when going for your vaccine tonight. It might be scary and you might get lots of 'what if' thoughts about it, but think of how much you have to gain from going to the doctors and pushing yourself :)

Try to remember that OCD stops up from having lots of normal non scary experiences because we avoid going places, so going to tonight is a way to show yourself that it's OK, you can go to the doctor's and nothing happens when you do. 

The other thing is, that even given the smallest chance that something does go wrong, you will be OK, you will cope and get through this :)

Gemma

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Hi Gemma,

Thank you, that's really helpful to re-frame it as a positive first step towards being able to do normal things (e.g. go for GP appointments) rather than viewing it as a threatening situation, which I wish I could avoid! 

I think I'm almost as anxious about my own reactions (in terms of panic, compulsions etc.) if something does go wrong, as I am about something going wrong in itself! I guess the thing that I can control is how I respond! :) 

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1 hour ago, Lollipop said:

How did it go @BelAnna?

Aw thanks for asking Lollipop! 

I found it really stressful and saw what I thought was vomit outside on the ground near the entrance BUT it's over and done with and I'm now fully vaccinated with a cocktail of Covid jabs (well just the AZ and Pfizer!).

I had to tell the lady at the entrance and the nurse about my OCD because I had to use my own sanitizer and because I couldn't sit down for the 15 minutes (they were very insistent that I should sit but then said that obviously they couldn't keep me there). Luckily there was no queue as my appointment was the last of the day.

Afterwards I sprayed my shoes and left them outside and then showered for an hour. I'm still feeling very anxious but glad that I did it. 

I was thinking about all of the support on here and about trying to take my life back when we walked past the vomit-like substance (which would normally lead to me running away!) and decided not to be embarrassed about telling people I had OCD at the medical practice because I think it was fairly obvious that something is wrong with me! 

Edited by BelAnna
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14 hours ago, BelAnna said:

I was thinking about all of the support on here and about trying to take my life back when we walked past the vomit-like substance (which would normally lead to me running away!) and decided not to be embarrassed about telling people I had OCD 

you should be really proud of this belanna :) :) 

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2 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

you should be really proud of this belanna :) :) 

Thanks Gingerbreadgirl, I did try to turn the 'I can't' into 'I can if I make myself' for this one! :) 

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Ah fab well done! Sounds like you did really well and good news on being fully jabbed too. 

That made me smile about you saying it's fairly obvious about the OCD a five year old girl was talking about me the other day to her mum when she said "what on earth is she doing?!". 

Hope you can book one of the other appointments you need soon. Also am I right in thinking you have a cafe trip planned?

Hope you are okay after the jab too 

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5 hours ago, Lollipop said:

Ah fab well done! Sounds like you did really well and good news on being fully jabbed too. 

That made me smile about you saying it's fairly obvious about the OCD a five year old girl was talking about me the other day to her mum when she said "what on earth is she doing?!". 

Hope you can book one of the other appointments you need soon. Also am I right in thinking you have a cafe trip planned?

Hope you are okay after the jab too 

Thanks Lollipop! It's so embarrassing when people notice isn't it? Slightly funny that a 5 year old was saying 'what on earth' though lol! 

I need a blood test for possible PCOS and an unrelated 24 hour ECG to check for a possible hereditary heart condition that my brother was diagnosed with a couple of years ago so I guess I've got some things to work towards! (neither of which sound much fun even without OCD to deal with though!). 

Yes- I'm going to a cafe at a quiet rose garden place (I might be the only person under 40 there!) tomorrow but hopefully I won't freak out too much about contamination as you have to pre-book a 1 hour slot. Do you have anything nice planned this week? :)

I think I'm okay so far after the jab- just a sore arm this time after the Pfizer! 

 

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Hi i havnt been on here for a short time so just seen your post.   Well done for going to your gp for your jab!  I found that after i have done something that challenges my ocd the best solution for me is to think - 'well its done now there is nothing i can do about it now, so no amount of worrying or compulsions will change anything'   i then let the thoughts go.  This is working well, and my aniexty seems to be getting less each time i apply this idea.   Someone said to me on this site 'feel the aniexty and then let it go' which is exactly what i have been doing   It really seems to work.  

Well done again, you are doing well!

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2 hours ago, OPTIMISTIC said:

Hi i havnt been on here for a short time so just seen your post.   Well done for going to your gp for your jab!  I found that after i have done something that challenges my ocd the best solution for me is to think - 'well its done now there is nothing i can do about it now, so no amount of worrying or compulsions will change anything'   i then let the thoughts go.  This is working well, and my aniexty seems to be getting less each time i apply this idea.   Someone said to me on this site 'feel the aniexty and then let it go' which is exactly what i have been doing   It really seems to work.  

Well done again, you are doing well!

Thanks Optimistic! I did sort of try to think like that but probably should have avoided completing compulsions! 

That's great that you're facing lots of challenges and finding that your anxiety gets easier each time! :) 

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