Will God understand if I stopped thinking about religion?

[BelAnna]

19 minutes ago, Moser said:

Because I dont want to treated by a psychologist (even though she knows cbt) because I think I need a psychiatrist andI do not want to give money for a doctor that may not help me. Is there any difference between psychiatrist cbt and psychologist cbt?

 

 

its not just the irrational thoughts. if it were only the irrational thoughts I would have been good.

 

The problem is the coincidences that support the thoughts.

The CBT you might receive from a Psychiatrist specialising in CBT will likely be similar to or the same as that received from a Psychologist. If you prefer to see a Psychiatrist, which might be a good idea because this is definitely leaning towards Psychosis or at least very low insight OCD (which they will be more experienced in) rather than simple OCD then look one up today and either phone or email them.

The coincidences by their very nature are coincidences and have no inherent meaning whatsoever- they are not evidence for the irrational thoughts. There is no connection between the two- I could think a coincidence meant that Ganesha (the elephant headed hindu God) was telling me that the fact that I saw a red car today after dreaming about a red car last night is a sign that I will get injured today but it wouldn't mean anything. It's just delusional thinking. 

Edited June 22, 2021 by BelAnna

[Moser]

but you described a likely coincidence that has a connection to something that happened last night.

 

what about thinking about a kinda not so usual phrase/word and then hearing it from an other in that moment? and after some days, the same thing again but with an other person?

 

 

There is no psychiatrist that knows cbt in my town. should I look online?

Edited June 22, 2021 by Moser

[BelAnna]

1 hour ago, Moser said:

but you described a likely coincidence that has a connection to something that happened last night.

 

what about thinking about a kinda not so usual phrase/word and then hearing from an other? and then, after some days, from one other?

 

 

There is no psychiatrist that knows cbt in my town. should I look online?

Yes, that sounds like a good idea. Also that way you could continue with the same specialist whether in your hometown or in the city that you normally live in.

Edited June 22, 2021 by BelAnna

[Moser]

i am better but ocd worries, analysing return.

 

i feel like "what if i am missing something here?"

[BelAnna]

1 hour ago, Moser said:

i am better but ocd worries, analysing return.

 

i feel like "what if i am missing something here?"

Try to change it to 'so what if I'm missing something here- who cares' and carry on with your day.

It is important to contact a therapist or doctor though because otherwise you will get stuck in the same worry again.

[Moser]

let me explain something else.

my ocd is about having illusions in some, lets say-, specific things in my life.

So, when I ignore it, I still worry about these illusion punishment.

 

I will say a similar example and not exactly what I worry about.

Someone has a body dysmoprhic disorder and thinks he is fat, even though he is not. He hates himself if he gains even just 1 kg. He spends a lot of time in the mirror and he weights himself as a compulsion.

 

He worries that he may do sometihng that will anger Gods and that They will punish him by making him to gain weight but with him being unable to find out if he gained weight. So, when he looks in the mirror, he sees his usual body and when he weights himself, he sees the same number. What if due to punishment he 4 kg fatter but he is unable to see it due to the illusion punishment?

 

So, when he ignores these coincidences, he stills gets the thought of what if he is know fatter and he cant see it due to the punishment?

 

this was just an example of why I worry so much about angering Gods. I do not want to say what I worry about exactly, thats why I said an example.

[BelAnna]

3 hours ago, Moser said:

let me explain something else.

my ocd is about having illusions in some, lets say-, specific things in my life.

So, when I ignore it, I still worry about these illusion punishment.

 

I will say a similar example and not exactly what I worry about.

Someone has a body dysmoprhic disorder and thinks he is fat, even though he is not. He hates himself if he gains even just 1 kg. He spends a lot of time in the mirror and he weights himself as a compulsion.

 

He worries that he may do sometihng that will anger Gods and that They will punish him by making him to gain weight but with him being unable to find out if he gained weight. So, when he looks in the mirror, he sees his usual body and when he weights himself, he sees the same number. What if due to punishment he 4 kg fatter but he is unable to see it due to the illusion punishment?

 

So, when he ignores these coincidences, he stills gets the thought of what if he is know fatter and he cant see it due to the punishment?

 

this was just an example of why I worry so much about angering Gods. I do not want to say what I worry about exactly, thats why I said an example.

Okay that sounds distressing and I can see why that makes you worry that if you ignore the thoughts then they have significance but really it's all just part of a delusion/obsession and really if you do nothing you will be fine and nothing bad will happen. 

The only way for you to start feeling better is to get help! What's happening with that- have you sent an email or made a phone call- is there anything stopping you doing it?

[Moser]

yes. i am not living alone and i do not feel comfortable talking online.

 

sometimes i feel good. but what if returns

 

what if these coincidences are not coincidences? its ok if they were only 1 or 2 but they are more than 5.

 

and the biggest coincidence is the coincidence with my brother.

 

why i thought "oh go to devil" and why I probably heard my brother repeating it? could it be that my brother rsaid somethin else? but the melody sounded EXACTLY as this.

Edited June 25, 2021 by Moser

[BelAnna]

1 hour ago, Moser said:

yes. i am not living alone and i do not feel comfortable talking online.

 

sometimes i feel good. but what if returns

 

what if these coincidences are not coincidences? its ok if they were only 1 or 2 but they are more than 5.

 

and the biggest coincidence is the coincidence with my brother.

 

why i thought "oh go to devil" and why I probably heard my brother repeating it? could it be that my brother rsaid somethin else? but the melody sounded EXACTLY as this.

Just a coincidence though Moser. 

Are there any Psychiatrists offering in-person appointments in the town/city that you live in at the moment? I can understand being worried about talking. Alternatively could you arrange to have an appointment via zoom/online at a time when your Dad and brother are out?  Another option if you have a car would be to sit in the car for an appointment. 

All that said, it would be a good idea to tell your Dad about this anyway. You need to arrange to see a Psychiatrist and he might be able to help you to do that.

[Moser]

i went to one psychiatrist but he insisted on finding someone who knows cbt. he just gave me some cipralex.

 

is there REALLY REALLY REALLY  a way out of this? are you cured?

[iamwesker]

Coincidences happen all the time Moser. That is why there is a word for it.. it doesn't have any special or important meaning  With the millions of thoughts and actions happening around the world every day, of course thinks are going to intersect at some point. In fact, it would be weird if they didn't!

[Moser]

guys a new coincidence happened.

 

i was watching an episode of a tv series. i paused it for an unrelated reason.

 

I started thining again about the coincidence that was related to the word "devil". I randomly got a worrying thought, kinda like "what if when I click play in the tv episode, the next quote will have the word "devil"?

 

I just ignore that thought and randomly clicked to a quora question that was on my profile (from the past) and randomly read the word "devil" because it had it on its title.

[iamwesker]

because it is a real existing word : ) so you will see it around

[BelAnna]

1 hour ago, Moser said:

i went to one psychiatrist but he insisted on finding someone who knows cbt. he just gave me some cipralex.

 

is there REALLY REALLY REALLY  a way out of this? are you cured?

Hi Moser, 

'Cured' is a difficult concept when it comes to mental illness really but getting to a state where you feel like this particular 'coincidence' obsession/delusion is irrational, silly etc. to the extent that you think of it in the same way as you think about other people's OCD, is possible! 

 

[Moser]

and how we know that ocd is wrong in all cases?

 

i can understand that ocd is wrong when it comes to gems, but when it is about something that we do not know. Like Gods, nature.

 

then, how i will know that it is wrong?

[Caramoole]

1 minute ago, Moser said:

then, how i will know that it is wrong?

When you get some treatment and start getting well again.  I feel very sorry for how you're feeling but if you won't find help you;re going to stay stuck.  We're hearig lots of reasons & resistance about why you won't get help but really you need to.  You said you were going to get help in a month when you returned to yout base state and many weeks have passed since then.

We aren.t going to get involved talking about coincidences as this isn't going to help you, hopefully talking to a professional will

[Moser]

a professional may help someone understand that he/she will not get sick.

 

 

but  what happens when it comes to scrupulosity? How a therapist will convince me that I should not worry about God or Gods? We are born in a world and we do not know why or how we are here.

 

can we at least talk about the punishment that ocd is giving me worries about?

 

About that punishment, I will say a similar example and not exactly what I worry about.Someone has a body dysmoprhic disorder and thinks he is fat, even though he is not. He hates himself if he gains even just 1 kg. He spends a lot of time in the mirror and he weights himself as a compulsion.

He worries that he may do sometihng that will anger Gods and that They will punish him by making him to gain weight but with him being unable to find out if he gained weight. So, when he looks in the mirror, he sees his usual body and when he weights himself, he sees the same number. What if due to punishment he 4 kg fatter but he is unable to see it due to the illusion punishment? So, when he ignores these coincidences, he stills gets the thought of what if he is know fatter and he cant see it due to the punishment?

this was just an example of why I worry so much about angering Gods. I do not want to say what I worry about exactly, thats why I said an example.

[Caramoole]

No Moser, we can't talk about these examples as it won't help.....other than going round in circles.  Scrupulocity is a type of OCD that a professional can help you with.  As with ALL other forms of OCD you are looking to find certainty before you move forward and this won't happen

[Caramoole]

Hi Moser

I'm really sorry Moser but I've removed your last post. It's just another lengthy post detailing your obsessions and doesn't contain anything that will help you move forward.

You need to make it a priority to get some proper professional support.  Using the forums as you are isn't helping you at all.  Please try & source some help

[Moser]

 I used to make promises to Christian God about not doing the ocd compulsions and asking for punishment in case breaking it in order to use the fear of punishment to force myself not to do the compulsions. That was on 2018.

 

 

I suffered a lot about these promises. I worry that in 2017, I may have made an older promise that was kinda about not making my home office desk dirty with specific things. I cant remember making such a promise. That hypothetical scenario appeared in 2020 when I got bad vibes from my desk. Bad vibes as if I may have made a promise on 2017 and i forgot it.

 

I worry because some days ago, I think I was careless and my ocd warned me, maybe kinda like "must not make the desk dirty". I did not make it dirty but my ocd is telling me:

 

ocd: since you were careless and you were warned not to make the desk dirty, what if for a second you made the mistake and made the desk dirty on purpose very very little, just because you were not focused? what if you made a promise and you accidentally made the desk dirty on purpose just because your intentions got mixed up with the "must not do it"? what if  you made the desk dirty and since you were careless you just forgot it? what if you cant blame that ocd for that promise? why you got bad vibes then? what if this promise was not an ocd promise but a real promise? what if you made the promise in order to have your desk always cleaned when your friends used to come? what if you thought that it would be an easy promise to be remembered and be kept?

 

 

I probably did not make such a promise (i would not dare). Also, some days ago, I did not make my desk dirty. I was just focused on something else and I just got a warning thought about not making it accidentally. I just worry hypothetically, if my hand accidentally made a gesture that touched the desk. for example: "do not touch the desk" and my hand randomly touches the desk just because my mind was focoused on something else.probably it did not happen and I did not touch my desk probably. what if other Gods accepted that promise if Christian God is not real?

 

 

 

Edited June 30, 2021 by Moser

[Moser]

when I  wrote I "suffered a lot" in my prrevious post, I mean that I worried a lot about these promises.

[BelAnna]

Hi Moser,

How about contacting the Psychologist that Ashley suggested speaking to today? If she thinks you need to see a Psychiatrist instead or as well she will probably help you to find one that specialises in CBT if that's what's needed or in another treatment method if that's what your condition needs.

Alternatively make an appointment with your normal doctor to ask about treatment options.

Edited June 30, 2021 by BelAnna

[Moser]

new coincidence.

 

 

I was on reddit and randomly saw  a funny  question that was about dying with what is written on the usernames.

 

Automatically, I remembered a funny quote that I heard "death by penguins". Due to ocd, I started wondering kinda like "what if someone had commented with something that has to do with penguins? it may be a sign/coincidence?"

 

I was ready to check the comments and automatically, I got another thought like:

"iwhat if I do not see the word "penguins" but something similar that lives in snow, like polar bear?"

 

I checked and the first comment was about dying from a Walrus. The walrus is an animal that lives in north pole, like polar bears and penguins.

 

I left the topic and started analyzing the coincidence and started replaying my thoughts before entering it. While I was ready to enter again, I got another thought like:

"what if the first comment is now different just because the "walrus" was a random comment that was shown first?"

 

I entered again and the first comment was the same. it was the comment about the walrus but some seconds later, (without refreshing) the comment with the walrus went downwards.

 

I tried some times to see if other comments in other topics do the same, but I think there were some rare cases in which the comments randomly changed position. Most of the times, the first comment was always the same comment.

 

Why the comment changed position?

[BelAnna]

Remember reassurance seeking doesn't help Moser and coincidences just happen as a normal part of life.

[Moser]

i am feeling much better the last days.