Someone found my OCD diary and book- should I bother checking what I had written?

[BelAnna]

My brother's family recently stayed with us and my brother's fiancee decided to do some snooping. She said she found 'lots of very interesting things' in a particular chest of drawers and I instantly thought 'I wonder whether that's something to do with my OCD?'. My Mum looked through it yesterday and found an OCD diary of mine and an OCD self-help book.

I feel very anxious about this and have so far decided to resist looking through them because I don't think it will help me if I can't do anything about it! My Mum suggested I look because forewarned is forearmed but really how is that the case? I will likely obsess about whatever she read (from contamination OCD to scrupulosity and some other crazy sounding themes in between) and I won't be able to say or do anything but will feel even more judged by her than I already do! If I could message my brother to discuss the issue with him then that would be one thing but the rest of my family don't think I should do that so really all I'll do is make myself panic.

She is likely to tell everyone she knows about what she has read as she likes to gossip.

Is not looking at the diary avoidance or is looking at it a compulsion?! 

Edited July 25, 2021 by BelAnna

[gingerbreadgirl]

Hi Belanna 

I think this is an outrageous invasion of privacy  I would be really upset and angry if someone did that in my home. I think you're right to feel upset and I think that's a normal reaction that anyone would feel ocd or not. 

That said - you're right it's done now. Can anything be gained from going through it? Maybe you'll feel better or maybe you won't. Ultimately as you say you can't control it. 

I think this was really not acceptable behaviour on any level  

[Avo]

I agree about the invasion of privacy. her behaviour is massively out of order. has anyone actually pulled her up on this? 

 

 

[Lollipop]

I am so sorry this has happened to you. This is so unbelievably rude and I am furious on your (and your parents) behalf. 

If it was me I wouldn't read it because it would upset me more. 

Could there have been anything else in there she was referring to?

[felix4]

5 hours ago, BelAnna said:

my brother's fiancee decided to do some snooping. She said she found 'lots of very interesting things' in a particular chest of drawers

 

5 hours ago, BelAnna said:

She is likely to tell everyone she knows about what she has read as she likes to gossip.

Sounds like a keeper..... NOT!

 

[Angst]

The fact that she said that she found ‘lots of interesting things’ reveals she is game playing. She admits to snooping and is looking for a reaction. She was a house guest. I have been snooped upon in the past by family and co residents  and it leaves an unpleasant taste. But a first time guest admitting to it and saying such a thing is, as said, game playing. Don’t react apart from calling out the game to her and your brother. Don’t react emotionally but criticise her behaviour in a moral sense.

Edited July 25, 2021 by Angst

[BelAnna]

Hi Gingerbreadgirl, Angst, Felix4, Avo and Lollipop.

Thanks for your lovely replies and concern- I was quite anxious about the whole thing and you made me feel better! 

So having decided not to read the diary in case it made things worse. My Mum went ahead and looked and has now said she thinks it's just a regular diary (she did read it without me asking her to but I honestly couldn't care less about that!) with some info about a trip to Dublin in the past when I was younger and able to do more and a few references to my emetophobia/vomit phobia. I think I will now check that and just check there's nothing else of mine in there. The book is a general OCD self-help book (I was worried it was a workbook that I had filled in) so that's not going to be a problem hopefully! 

I guess I can breathe for now. 

I should say she's not a first time visitor- she's more like a sister-in-law, is my niece and nephew's Mum and I've known her for 7ish years now. The items in the chest of drawers had been put there by my other brother but the chest of drawers was in the room she was sleeping in so maybe she can be excused as she might have thought it was just her fiance's stuff to begin with. I'm now wondering whether her reference to 'lots of interesting things' was actually about my brother's/her fiance's stuff that's also in there (which I wouldn't dream of looking at!) rather than mine. 

Edited July 25, 2021 by BelAnna

[BelAnna]

10 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

Hi Belanna 

I think this is an outrageous invasion of privacy  I would be really upset and angry if someone did that in my home. I think you're right to feel upset and I think that's a normal reaction that anyone would feel ocd or not. 

That said - you're right it's done now. Can anything be gained from going through it? Maybe you'll feel better or maybe you won't. Ultimately as you say you can't control it. 

I think this was really not acceptable behaviour on any level  

 

7 hours ago, Avo said:

I agree about the invasion of privacy. her behaviour is massively out of order. has anyone actually pulled her up on this? 

 

 

 

5 hours ago, felix4 said:

 

Sounds like a keeper..... NOT!

 

 

5 hours ago, Angst said:

The fact that she said that she found ‘lots of interesting things’ reveals she is game playing. She admits to snooping and is looking for a reaction. She was a house guest. I have been snooped upon in the past by family and co residents  and it leaves an unpleasant taste. But a first time guest admitting to it and saying such a thing is, as said, game playing. Don’t react apart from calling out the game to her and your brother. Don’t react emotionally but criticise her behaviour in a moral sense.

 

6 hours ago, Lollipop said:

I am so sorry this has happened to you. This is so unbelievably rude and I am furious on your (and your parents) behalf. 

If it was me I wouldn't read it because it would upset me more. 

Could there have been anything else in there she was referring to?

 

Thanks so much - sorry I replied above but forgot to quote/tag.