Bruh

[Savy]

I was doing so well. I mean, I was still depressed/exhausted all the time, but I wasn't ruminating much at all. I can live with that. Every now and then my mental health gets really bad and it's unbearable. I've been wanting to do the same sh*t (compulsions) I've been doing in 2020 all day and yesterday. I gotta stay strong or I could easily fall in the cycle again. I still feel rather mentally unstable though. It's a feeling I deal with every once in awhile but I probably shouldn't ignore it. It's not normal.

 

 

If anyone is wondering how my treatment is going, I stopped. The lady I was seeing has made mistakes and I didn't feel comfortable seeing her anymore. She started me off with a high dossage of prozac by accident. I was going to go in and tell her about it and the fact that I was taking drugs without therapy was enough reason to stop going, but I also felt an intense amount of anxiety just from the idea of seeing her again because I told her everything that was going on in the last appointment.. It was sh*tty on my part, but I ghosted her. After that, I wasn't doing to bad, I had my days and night fixed and I've rarely done and goggling or ruminating, but today has been god awful. Here's to hoping I can somehow get by all this mental stuff.