Hoarding causing unhygienic living

[MS k]

I wonder if I can perhaps get some advise.

I'm at my witts end, my family recently moved closer to my in-laws but my mother in-law is a terrible hoarder.

Her house is actually infested with fleas, there is rotten food, you can't even get in the front door properly. I'm worried as she not only has fell downstairs, tripped resulting in broken bones but she can't and won't phone 999 or a doctor as the house is that bad.

The phrase wipe your feet as you leave is very accurate, and I'm now having to even disinfect my own house when she visits her 2 year old granddaughter as its that bad.

The smell would knock you dead, we have all tried to get her to clean as she physically can not do housework as no floor is visible under books and filth but even when a skip was hired she just got everything that was thrown away back out, her gp  has been informed and spoken with her but she denies she has a problem and refuses anyone to come see the problem itself at her home.

She doesn't even have a proper working or clean kitchen yet she is still making food in there.

I found this website off the NHS as it says not to contact environmental health as that doesn't fix the problem in the long run but the house is so dangerous and it's affecting her health, and she can't even get out if there is a fire.

Please advise on what I can do as I don't want to stop her visiting but I'm disabled with a 2 year old child I can't keep disinfecting my house everytime she visit so that I don't have fleas (even though they don't live on humans she has 4 cats all infested including the house and we have seen them crawling on her) 

Who can I contact about this? And what will the consequences be? I don't want my family to lose there pets they love or their house I just want her to literally clean up her act.

[Stace]

I'm sorry to hear you're all dealing with such a sad situation. Do you have the support of your husband, does he agree that something needs to be done for his mother? 

Maybe try these websites, hopefully they can point you in the right direction. Failing that, I would guess social services could be informed if her welfare is at risk. Good luck xx

http://www.helpforhoarders.co.uk

http://www.hoardingdisordersuk.org

http://www.hoardinguk.org

[MS k]

Thank you for those websites I will deffinatly look at them.

Yes my husband is awesr he is the one that informed her gp, he even issued her an ultimatum yesterday that she can not visit again till she cleans up her house, she has been to thr vets to de-flea the cats and get the spray for her house which is uppose is a start.

[Stace]

That's great news, and an acknowledgement on her part that there is an issue. The poor cats would be in danger of anaemia etc if the flea infestation was to continue. However, it will be almost impossible to eradicate with so much stuff in the house. Perhaps this is the angle to try, by using her concern for her pets? 

I know it's so hard, but try to remember OCD is an illness, and it overrides all logical thought. She is not being deliberately obstinate, no matter how frustrating it may feel. There will likely be deep-rooted psychological issues beneath her need to cocoon herself with possessions. The difficulty is trying to get her help - am glad you at least have your husband's support. Keep us posted how it goes. 

[Angst]

Ms K

When a skip was used who decided which items should be placed into the skip? It is important that the hoarder makes the final decision as to what is thrown out and it is best if a therapist works with your mother in law prior to and during decluttering.  Some therapists arrange family therapy in tandem with dealing with the hoarding problem. Your mother in laws reaction to the skip clear out is very common.
 

Stace has provided some good sources of support. I would try contacting Hoarders U.K. and see whether a competent therapist can work with your mother. Your GP might be able to refer you a therapist who specialises in hoarding issues. There are a couple of specialist centres which deal with hoarding one based in London at the Centre for Anxiety and Trauma and another one in Oxford. A therapist needs to visit the property on a number of occasions to work with the client. It takes some time. Also get advice from the charities that deal with hoarding.

Some time ago I had a bit of a hoarding problem along with checking OCD the checking made the hoarding worst. I received professional support from therapists. My property is quite minimalist now.
 

There was a BBC documentary series on hoarding headed up by Victoria Bream Oldfield a clinical psychologist with experience in OCD and hoarding which maybe available on line. I think one of the rare accurate series of documentaries on this issue. One case involved, because it was a council property, Environmental  Health, but the effects were short lived because the solution was imposed upon the tenant rather than agreed with her. 
 

So my advice would be to prompt your relative to seek professional help. And give her a book to read called ‘Buried in Treasure’. Basically she needs help by a therapeutic approach.

Edited August 22, 2021 by Angst