Still having that bad feeling of not doing compulsions, is it normal?

[ivybasil]

3 hours ago, Belina said:

Yeah, I know, it is sooo hard. Although I do not feel any anxiety since I had an intrusive thoughts my brain keeps questioning whether it is ok and safe not to do any of washing rituals. What if now those thoughts will come true as I haven't prevent those thoughts from happening. This is what scares me a lot. Like for example now I was taking some things that I was not using for a very long time from a shelf and I suddenly remembered that I had some horrible thought while putting them there and I haven't cleaned it since then - it was maybe a half a year ago and now I took them of and there was a dust and it fall on the floor so now I have a feeling like those thoughts are literally everywhere and my baby boy is playing around and touching everything so it is like I have no chance to clean those thoughts from all surfaces. Although I know how crazy this sounds and I know that my hands or touching something while having those horrible thoughts has nothing to do with those thoughts and that it doesn't work this way and I cannot have my thoughts in my hands but still the feeling is so real and hence I am scared that I am doing actually wrong when I have stopped cleaning everything and washing my hands because of those thoughts. I mean that I am scared that now all those thoughts will come true and they can kill or hurt someone or someone will be seriously ill now. I do not have any problem to distract myself as I have a baby and there is so much to do around him but the bad feeling is still somewhere there behind. It is hard to explain

I think you explained it very well - I understand, and it doesn't sound crazy! This must be really difficult  but you're absolutely doing the right thing by stopping the extra cleaning. Like you said, you have a baby so I imagine there's plenty of other things you could do to keep yourself busy!  I really admire your strength challenging these thoughts. 

[Belina]

7 hours ago, ivybasil said:

I think you explained it very well - I understand, and it doesn't sound crazy! This must be really difficult  but you're absolutely doing the right thing by stopping the extra cleaning. Like you said, you have a baby so I imagine there's plenty of other things you could do to keep yourself busy!  I really admire your strength challenging these thoughts. 

Thank you soo much for all your kind words