Health anxiety and contamination OCD

[Claire79]

Hi I'm new here and found this forum through a different forum I'm on.

I've had health anxiety about other people (specifically my kids but also other family members) since my Dad died 5 years ago. He had a rare cancer - thymoma - that recurred very quickly (even more rare). I worry that my kids' headaches are tumours etc rather than just headaches. I started counselling this year to help.

However, when a friend asked for details of an asbestos surveyor I started to panic about my garage roof. We moved in 9 years ago, I've always known it was asbestos cement. It didn't bother me. We also discovered vermiculite in our loft, which was tested and negative for asbestos in 2019. I remember squidging the vermiculite and being interested in it. I don't remember any fear. Now my fear of the garage roof is dreadful. We had it tested because of how I was feeling and it turned out to have both white and blue asbestos! I ended up in what I think was a full blown panic attack, even though the survey said it was low risk as in reasonable condition and cement rather than loose fibres.

My mind has spiralled since then. I worry about the stuff in the garage being contaminated and any exposure my kids or husband may have had. I don't let the kids in there but some of their toys used to be in there and the roof leaks a little in a couple of places. My husband goes in and out of the garage and I worry about contamination on his shoes, which he's then bringing into the house. We are having the garage cleared and roof replaced by experts but I'm already worrying about bits of the roof breaking off and touching other things.

I also worry about other things contaminating stuff. Raw meat but also anything we may have stepped on outside and have brought in. Even after mopping the floor, I wonder if the mop should be replaced.

It's exhausting, my hands are sore from washing and while the counselling helped with my health anxiety, it's not doing anything for my contamination OCD. Sorry for the long post! I don't know where to start.

[Gemma@OCDUK]

Hi Claire,

Welcome to the forum

I'm sorry to hear how much you're struggling at the moment, I think all of us understand how exhausting it can be. I'm also sorry to hear about your dad too, that must have been an incredibly difficult time.

It's not uncommon for those with OCD to worry about asbestos among other things so please know that you are not alone. You mentioned that you have been going to counselling this year, do you mean Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or counselling as I know many people say one when they mean the other. At the moment CBT is the recommended treatment for OCD and it differs from counselling in that it is much more of a doing therapy, which gives you the tools to tackle OCD.

CBT is freely available on the NHS and I would be happy to explain the referral routes if that would be helpful.

Gemma

 

[Claire79]

Hi Gemma

Thanks for your reply. It was counselling I was having, not CBT. I actually cancelled this week because I wasn't sure talking about the roof over and over again was really helping me. I'm not sure how to go about getting a referral for CBT. I've been going outside my GP in the past few years as it's impossible to get an appointment.

[Gemma@OCDUK]

Hi Claire,

If you're in England then you can self-refer to your local Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) service without speaking to your GP. IAPT is the first step in England to accessing CBT for OCD. You can find your local IAPT service by looking on the NHS IAPT database here https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/ Sometimes multiple services are shown, so try to make sure the one you pick is for those registered with a GP where your GP is based. 

If you are elsewhere in the UK then it would mean making an appointment with your GP, for a referral to your local community mental health team. I know how hard it is to get an appointment but keep persisting as CBT really is worth pushing for. 

In the meantime it might be helpful to look into a self-help book like Break Free from OCD https://www.ocduk.org/shop/break-free-from-ocd/ which is written by specialists in the treatment of OCD. It is a great way to learn what good CBT looks like.

Gemma

Edited September 9, 2021 by Gemma@OCDUK

[Claire79]

Thanks Gemma. I've got hold of the book and started reading it. Had a massive panic last night as my 7 year old son said he had backache and my mind went into overdrive. Not helped by him saying it still hurt this morning. Part of me knows it'll be from PE or the fishing he did at the weekend or something like that, but it doesn't stop my mind from thinking all sorts of awful scenarios. So exhausting.

[Claire79]

So still struggling with everything. We are going to be moving too, which is adding to my stress.

At the moment I'm waiting on CBT. It could be quite a wait but I'm on the list. I have medication but haven't started it yet because I already take lots of meds for migraine and don't really want to take any more.

I'm currently still panicking about our garage. It was emptied in preparation for taking away the asbestos cement roof I hate so much, but we're leaving it as will be moving and there are lots of delays with the new roof (been waiting since July). It leaks in a couple of places and my husband puts buckets under to catch the rainwater. He then empties these out when they get full. I struggle to cope with this thinking that because the water has gone through holes in the roof, it's contaminated with asbestos and we have blue asbestos in the roof and that's not easily washed away. Then I imagine the contaminated water on his hands, he washes them in the kitchen sink and gets this everywhere then dries his hands on the hand towel. Every part of this frightens ms so completely I struggle to think of anything else. My ultimate fear is that either he or the kids inhales/ingests asbestos and gets mesothelioma. My rational mind says this is likely next to impossible but my OCD says we're all going to die horribly.

I honestly can't wait to get the hell out of my own house and move somewhere new, but I have a feeling this will only push the contamination OCD onto something else.

I'm starting to feel really rather low and sad about how I feel and it's affecting everyone else. Particularly my long-suffering husband.