OCD in Farming and Mechanics

[Liambro1991]

Hi everyone, I understand OCD comes in all kinds of strange ways and affects us very differently.

I understand that a topic that affects someone intensely with their OCD anxiety, might seem completely Alien to someone else and wonder how?...

Coming from a farming background where you cant show weakness makes this very hard to write but i feel someone might understand. However unfortunately my specific anxiety is brought on by repairing any sort of mechanical device e.g. car, tractor, digger chainsaw and so on, I don't doubt my abilities as engineer as i have some pretty feel good awards for it, which makes it even harder to step back away from it as my passion for it is great.

The anxiety and OCD as well as some lengthy compulsions is ignited by the fear of it all going wrong and someone coming to harm by something I've done or braking, along with the fear of hydraulic high pressure systems blowing and injecting into my blood and high pressure air systems.

Working in this industry most of my working life has been a challenge and unfortunately got the better of me and miss it very much, I'm writing this to see if anyone else also suffers from this, or have any good ides, practices that could help me progress back to a more self confident engineer and person.

 

Thanks 

[Bismah OCD-UK Volunteer]

Hi Liambro1991,

Welcome  Sorry to hear that OCD has affected you in your working life, but I just wanted to let you know that what you're experiencing is not at all alien. It will always look for something and make you feel as if your case is the only unique one. It seems like you're experiencing both Harm and Responsibility OCD where you feel responsible for doing something wrong. For example, I love art so my OCD might look at the sharper tools and say 'this will harm someone so you need to hide it'. Now I might hide it from view so no one gets hurt as I feel responsible for someone else's life. However, doing this will only make my OCD worse. It doesn't really matter what the content of the thoughts are, they are all the same. It will always look for something that matters to you. 

Are you on any medication or sought therapy? CBT and ERP are both great for helping us to face our fears and understand that thoughts cannot do any harm. It creates a distance between us and our thoughts. 

[Hd120820]

Hi I work in the farming industry and just wanted to say alot of my OCD is related to my son being injured on the farm because of me, so I know slightly different but what I do is just say to myself it's just OCD then refocus on what I'm doing but u can't let it stop u doing what u love. I won't let it stop me doing what I love and having my family grow up in farming but I know its hard I had some CBT and read alot of self help books hope this helps 

[Liambro1991]

On 14/09/2021 at 20:34, Bismah OCD-UK Volunteer said:

Hi Liambro1991,

Welcome  Sorry to hear that OCD has affected you in your working life, but I just wanted to let you know that what you're experiencing is not at all alien. It will always look for something and make you feel as if your case is the only unique one. It seems like you're experiencing both Harm and Responsibility OCD where you feel responsible for doing something wrong. For example, I love art so my OCD might look at the sharper tools and say 'this will harm someone so you need to hide it'. Now I might hide it from view so no one gets hurt as I feel responsible for someone else's life. However, doing this will only make my OCD worse. It doesn't really matter what the content of the thoughts are, they are all the same. It will always look for something that matters to you. 

Are you on any medication or sought therapy? CBT and ERP are both great for helping us to face our fears and understand that thoughts cannot do any harm. It creates a distance between us and our thoughts. 

Hi I really appreciate this, I'm sourcing some ERP but it's hard to get the support as all my NHS doctors or so busy and cant get through to them, so I started looking into it myself on how to do it but am unsure if this is wise as I havnt the experience or know how. 

[Liambro1991]

On 15/09/2021 at 18:55, Hd120820 said:

Hi I work in the farming industry and just wanted to say alot of my OCD is related to my son being injured on the farm because of me, so I know slightly different but what I do is just say to myself it's just OCD then refocus on what I'm doing but u can't let it stop u doing what u love. I won't let it stop me doing what I love and having my family grow up in farming but I know its hard I had some CBT and read alot of self help books hope this helps 

It's comforting knowing someone else in farming is on here, it's more the fact I could continue and have done for quite a long time, it's just very exhausting fighting a battle in your head and putting a confident front on to customers/ colleagues who you know havnt the clue how it feels to be this way, yer I read alot to and it helps massively, any good books you can  suggest ?   Thanks for the reply. 

[Keyboard Worrier]

I'm a car mechanic (well, was...  ) and have the same sort of fears.  The short answer is that somehow you have to accept the uncertainty, and accept that things can happen no matter how careful you are or how good you are at the job.  It's about accepting the thoughts and letting them pass, rather than focussing on them.  It is a constant mental battle for now at least, and giving into to the compulsion to keep checking and rechecking things just makes it worse in the long run.  I'm not sure how ERP is going to work in this case, CBT would be better option.  You can self refer to the local IAPT online or by telephone.

It's interesting you mention the front...I do wonder how many of us are putting on that facade with various MH issues going on inside...

[Liambro1991]

3 hours ago, Keyboard Worrier said:

I'm a car mechanic (well, was...  ) and have the same sort of fears.  The short answer is that somehow you have to accept the uncertainty, and accept that things can happen no matter how careful you are or how good you are at the job.  It's about accepting the thoughts and letting them pass, rather than focussing on them.  It is a constant mental battle for now at least, and giving into to the compulsion to keep checking and rechecking things just makes it worse in the long run.  I'm not sure how ERP is going to work in this case, CBT would be better option.  You can self refer to the local IAPT online or by telephone.

It's interesting you mention the front...I do wonder how many of us are putting on that facade with various MH issues going on inside...

Hi keyboard worrier thanks for the comment, it's crazy isn't it knowing to accept your fears and accept thoughts for what they are, as pointless misfiring in the brain.

It's just digging deep for the courage every day committing every day to beating the beast.

[Hd120820]

On 17/09/2021 at 21:24, Liambro1991 said:

It's comforting knowing someone else in farming is on here, it's more the fact I could continue and have done for quite a long time, it's just very exhausting fighting a battle in your head and putting a confident front on to customers/ colleagues who you know havnt the clue how it feels to be this way, yer I read alot to and it helps massively, any good books you can  suggest ?   Thanks for the reply. 

I know it's so hard people don't understand the constant battle in your head and the constant trying to refocus but I'm sure we will get their. I found a book called overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts helpful but tbh the most helpful was reading replies on this forum