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Oops!, I think I may have 'Bontaminated' my home... And thus, ultimately, everything else today...


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Hi everyone... Oops... I received a packet today containing a gramophone record from ebay... I picked it up from the doormat, where we tread when coming in from outside... I picked it up, just as I did my birthday cards as a small boy... I knew what it would be, cos I was expecting it... A tune from 1967, and my troubled childhood... I knew what the 'B' side was, but cannot remember the 'A' side... I'm taking a risk of awakening old, forgotten memories... I could open a Pandora's box... Anyway, I've got it out of the packaging to check it, and it is fine... I went to the computer, typed in the feedback, and then this... I still haven't washed my hands... That record has been around since 1967... How many people have touched it before me? We didn't have anti-bac gel in those days... We didn't have MRI scanners in those days... X-rays results took days to come back... We could die from the Flu...

Anyway... I guess it is fair to say that there will be good on the item, as well as, if any bad... Do Germs and Bacteria last forever if not treated? I really don't know... But, I'm leaning towards the goodness, that what I'm spreading around, is not going to hurt me, nor for that matter, anyone else... After all, How do you 'De-Contaminate' a gramophone record? A computer keyboard? The mouse...? The dust I will have inhaled when opening any package, let alone this one... 

I believe that I have inadvertently/deliberately have caused 'Bontamination'. That is, Human contact, in a good, as well as not so good way... Notice I don't use the word 'Bad', cos it isn't, it is normal, something that goes on every single day of our lives, and every single breath we take...  Our air has to contain Carbon dioxide in order to enable plants to photosynthesize oxygen, which as we well know, is well, pretty important. We breathe in ordinary air, and our lung's Alveoli put oxygen into our bloodstream... It is then up to the body's natural defences to deal with all the other stuff we breathe in on a day to day basis...

So, Yes, I have Bontaminated my environment today... And that is okay... Good things as well as not so good... But that has been happening every moment of my life... Without me necessarily being aware of it...  But it isn't easy to do deliberately...  But Because it is no longer totally negative in concept, it actually allows a glorious sense of freedom... No longer forever trying to be perfectly clean... Just Reasonably clean. So just maybe this is okay? I sure hope so... I'll keep updating to let you all know how this goes... Wish me luck!

David

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1 hour ago, Dakagraphics-David said:

I knew what the 'B' side was, but cannot remember the 'A' side...

I have just done similar! I've just purchased a record on wasp sounds, but I put it on, & it didn't quite sound right, but then I realized I had put it on the 'B' side! :D

It sounds like you are in a good place though, so well done! :57439eb60db27_thumbup: 

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Hi there, Thank you for your kind words. It has been an interesting ride! I think I will always have OCD, it is always there in the background, intrusive thoughts, trying to make me wash my hands too much... Incidentally... Something that I guess everybody does, and mostly without thinking, is Milk bottles... We are so involved with the delicious smell of the Coffee, that we don't consider the bottle... And it has always been okay... Right back to when we had glass bottles with foil tops...  I was preparing cereal for breakfast. Grabbed a bowl from the kitchen sink drainer, Got the biggest box out of the cupboard, and filled the bowl... I went to the fridge, and poured milk on the cereal. Emptied the bottle, and grabbed a new one from the fridge... A new bottle, with a green screw cap on it... Beleive it or not I felt the urge to wash my hands... But When? Before unscrewing the top? After unscrewing the top, and removing the foil seal...? Mmmm... Well, in practice, for years, in the supermarket, the till operator would check that ALL the bottle tops are on tight, to avoid leakage in the carrier bag on the way home... So we've never known what is on the caps... On opening the bottle later, That then got immediately to the foils seal, and thus to the milk... We've always done that, and it has been okay... So if we don't catastrophise it, When we drink cold milk, the top has NEVER been perfectly clean... And We've all survived... Because Our immune systems strengthen, and protect us from serious illness... And yet, I still feel the need to wash my hands between removing the green screwtop, and the foil seal inside! The trick, if there is one, is to do what people have been doing for years, wash hands (If you must) Before making the drink of Coffee, and no more, right up until and including, having a nice, buttery, shortbread biscuit (Or two!) with the nice cup of Coffee... People just don't get ill, if they did, the whole process would be changed, cos, we don't always boil the milk before drinking it... Therefore, the milk is still Bontaminated... But with good as well as bad... And remember fizzy pop bottles? Take a sip, wipe the top 'Clean' with the palm of our hands, then pass it to the next person... Never mind what we thought we were wiping off the bottle... Just what exactly would we have been putting ON the bottle, before we passed it to the next person?!!!!. 

The Record, is a 45 rpm recording of 'El Malaga' by 'Sounds Orchestral', (1967). Written by Johnny Pearson (Who did 'Top of the Pops) It was a favourite of my late Mum and Dad, in the darker days of my way off childhood... It isn't on Youtube...  But I want to learn to play it... By ear... The spooky thing is, The 'A' side is called 'Our Love story', a TV theme from 'Love Story' a TV programme of the time... My Mum and Dad would have been happy then... I would have been about 11 or 12, and my childhood experience was not particularly good, But that's a long time ago now. My Mum and Dad eventually separated... And I was the eldest of five kids... We've all moved on, to where we are today...  I haven't actually heard that music for over fifty years... Who knows what memories might come flooding back... Wish me luck! 

David  

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Hi everyone... Those who know me, will know that I'm into cuddly toys... Well, yesterday, I was in a shop, and saw one, my favourite colour... I'd actually gone into the shop to buy something different, but that's another story! The thing is... I picked it up... Now, bearing in mind that I had incidentally used the antibac gel on the way into the store, as usual, I don't know if the last person to handle that toy before me, would have cleaned theirs... What is on the cuddly toy? I really don't know... Another one I got a couple of weeks ago was also my favourite colour... I bought that one too... Is it perfectly clean? If it is, it would be a miracle considering how it has been made by hand, handled by possiblt twenty people before me... It's not 'Contaminated', it is 'Bontaminated', with good, as well as anything less good. It looks clean, and cannot go into the washing machine... Consider the teddy bears and dolls we had when we were children... And we didn't have automatic washing machines in those days with 'Designer' washing powders... We lived... Those toys went everywhere with us... We hugged them close to our faces... And we survived... If I touch something, I 'bontaminate' it with good as well as anything else... We have concrete evidence of that... It is all around us... And always has been... So, maybe the car was not contaminated... Can we reason like that? That what went in the car came out with good vibes... As children we rode in lots of different cars... Parents, Aunties brothers etc. If we ever did get tummy-ache, it never lasted long, and we soon forgot about it... Not everything we touch is dangerous... If it was we'd be in a right old state... When we eat salad... Have we always washed it, as the worried trader says in writing on it? What always? Carrots with soil just brushed off... We haven't, have we... Radishes straight out of the ground... To many people, if we put carrots on the kitchen worktop, we need to clean the worktop with bleach... And yet we've just eaten the carrots!!!!  Do we wash tomato's in bleach? To be honest, unless they look grubby, I don't wash them at all, cos mere water is not going to achieve anything... This world is 'Bontaminated', the prefix 'Bon', coming from the French for 'good'.

It is Positive word, that gives me hope, rather than all the negative ones that damage hope... 

Oh... And the Milk bottles? Nothing happened...

David

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Hi guys, Yesterday it was a meal deal at a supermarket, amongst a load of other miscellaneous food shopping... I chose a microwave ready meal burger in bun, a plastic tub containing two hardboiled and shelled eggs, and a bottle of cold drink... Now... We got lots of other stuff too, but I'm concentrating on the meal deal... When we go through the till, everything is handled by the till operator, my other half got it into bags while I emptied the basket onto the conveyor belt... So, logically speaking, they both handled all the items in one continuous stint... No antibacterial gel used since before entering the store... So... in negative theory, catastrophisingly,  It is all 'Cross-contaminated'. But what with? We don't know... And it has always been that way... For years... I prefer to say 'Bontaminated', in other words, with 'good' germs also... Anyway, we get it all home them sit at the dining table to eat the 'meal deal meal'. I will have washed my hands once before sitting down at the table, but that is all. I open the egg container, and take out each egg in turn... So, whatever was on the outer wrapper, is now on the eggs, which I eat, using my fingers... It has always been this way... This is how I get to eat eggs on a regular basis... (I can't shell them properly!) I then have the burger in a bun, which has been thoroughly  cooked, but the wrapper has only been in the microwave, so maybe the germs were still there... The burger is eaten with bare fingers, and the top is taken off the drinks bottle, without at any point, pausing to antibac gel my hands, or indeed, wash my hands...  It has never made me ill... Not since I was a child, and I'm in my sixties now... Maybe we could all try this, as a CBT type homework experiment... Whereas we associate 'Contamination' as being 'Bad', 'Bontamination' is positive, and good... We can actually begin to relax and smile at the thought that, maybe the world, when it is reasonably clean, is not as hazardous to us as we originally thought... As we are led to believe...I seem to remember seeing a commercial on TV for some product claiming 99.999% germ clean... If that is the case, what does it do to the good guys, the ones we actually need...? Anyway, if I get sick, I'll report back, but somehow, I don't think I will...

This is evidence we can all try... This forum is about sharing ideas and experiences of OCD and intrusive thoughts, and I honestly reckon this could stand up in court...

David

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Hi everyone... Just a thought... Just maybe, a word like 'Bontamination' , could be seen as a form of reassurance... Well, another way of looking at it, is that it is not 'Reassurance', but actually 'Release'... Blessed release from having to remember whether I washed my hands enough, or whether there is literally a speck of dust on my shoes, from walking outside... I'm released from the feelings of guilt, that walking in from outside, I stepped on the floor, where one of the grandchildren crawled, leading them to feel a bit sick as they ate their lunch in their high chair... Blessed release from worrying about what may have got on my clothing, that I brushed off with my hands, before making a cup of coffee for someone... As I have no control over what other people do, whether or not they choose to wash their hands before eating, just maybe it isn't down to the way I prepared their sandwiches, that caused a minor tummy ache, that lasted a few moments, whether or not I even knew about it...

Reassurance tends to be counter-productive for us Ocd sufferers, because we can deal with one concern, and feel great for five minutes, only to be presented by another scenario or event, long forgotten, and needing to get reassurance for that... At the height of my Ocd, I got right back to things that happened during my schooldays... The thing is, I'm a pensioner... Those things were getting muckraked up by my intrusive thoughts... 

There is a 'Serenity prayer'

Grant me the grace to accept the things I cannot change, The strength to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference...

The most important word in there is not 'strength', but 'Wisdom'... Wisdom....

It took me years to accept that... 

So, What to do today... Well, a bit of studying... Go and visit relatives... And go upstairs without worrying about the stair rail... Cos everyone uses that, and always have done, cos it is a very steep staircase...  And I no longer carry anti-bac gel in my pocket... So I don't start cleaning my hands uncontrollably, I used to, you know!

David

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Hi there... Maybe I have just given myself permission to actually let go of the compulsion to sterilise everything... To let go, and just let it be so... Maybe this could sort of 'short circuit', trip up, or disarm my intrusive thoughts and compulsion to worry about what is on say... That door handle... That chair... My clothes... It won't always work for me, but perhaps this is a pensive step in the right direction for me/us... It's a start... Let me try this today... My son has asked me to go and sort out his toilet cistern valve... It is making so much noise that he cannot sleep in his flat... Wish me luck...

That was written yesterday... I handled tools, placed them on my lap in the car... In the end, we searched the flat for the main water inlet valve... We moved the fridge, the washer, I knelt on the floor a few times... in the end we had to call the landlord for help...  I got back in the car... Nothing happened... No ill effects... Today, it was gym... Wearing the same track suit as for the last couple of weeks... What is on my clothing? Have I put anything on the treadmill machine? I really don't know... But the only antibacterials in the building were sprays, so that we could use a piece of kitchen roll, to wipe down the handles after use... That was all... Nothing to clean our hands with... And that was the same for everyone else there...  I met my other half in the cafe... Had a latte, and biscotti biscuit... With my fingers... Will I get ill? Everyone else was doing exactly the same as me... Will any of them get ill? I guess not, with the concrete evidence so far... No they won't, at least, not from me... And that realisation is incredibly relaxing... I'm not to blame... That is just one thing I can gladly relax about... There are things that worry me, but this is at least a start... And the best way to get something done is to 'Simply begin...'

I do a lot of shopping from Amazon... We have no way of knowing if anything is Contaminated/Bontaminated... How many people will have handled the parcel? What about the item inside the parcel? I mean, there is literally no way of cleaning it, it is an electric fan heater... When I switch it on, What will it blow into my room? I don't know...  

But what I do know, is that we all have natural defences, that have developed and strengthened as we've grown... Our skin protects us, and the oils in our skin help to keep us safe... That is biological science... This is not reassurance, it is evidence...  And it releases us from excessive guilt, that intrusive thoughts build up in us on a daily basis...

So... I'll give this a couple more days and see if anything happens, knowing that probably, No it won't. The sports centre will stay open... There won't be anything on the telly... Mind you, I need to resist the temptation/compulsion to check on line, or look at tomorrows papers...  If anything could, it couldn't possibly be down to just little old me...

David

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Hi David.  I say keep it up as long as it doesn't hurt you in the long run.  If it is temporary crutch to "do" things than there is nothing wrong with it.  Break Free from OCD even states this, I believe.  I have been watching a guy on yuotube that I found years ago named Mark Freeman.  His ideas and approaches are much more beneficial than a lot of the advice here.  He comes up with supportive answers not rude ones.  I say check him out see what you think.  As for me I am leaving this place.  We want support not told that we are seeking reassurance and to stop or anything like that or be ignored.  There is a kind approach than there is a cold one and like Phil 19 years ago it seems the cold one is King here. 

Take care, David

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Hi there, All the best for the future Michael.

Basically, for me, this seems to have pulled the rug out from under my intrusive thoughts... Sort of just, taken their power away... Hopefully it will last. In the meantime I'm trying to get on with things, and make up for the awful damage Ocd has done to me over the years... I lost my job in care work, and gave up driving the car... I still don't drive alone... So there is now no way I can 'Just pop back and have a quick check, just to make sure, one more time...' My other half is in the car, so if anything had happened, they'd probably no it before I did... The intrusive thoughts are much quieter now... I've called their bluff on numerous occassions, and written it down, so I can refer to it often. Especially when I'm having a 'bad' day... They always pass...

David

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            Hi there all... Has anyone noticed that we have started to come down with other new illnesses? It is weird... But the common cold seems to be going on for longer periods... There are other things not necessarily linked to Covid... People getting rashes on their hands... I wonder if this has anything to do with the amount of antibac products we've been using... We've been going around surgically clean for months... Are we losing our natural defences? I sure hope not... It has taken centuries to get us where we were before Covid19 took over our world... Christmas is looming... That combined with the finish of the Covid19 payment... And there is something filtering through, about the change in entitlement to free prescriptions... I'm concerned that I may have to stop having medicine... I'm on two, one which is such a low dose I could probably stop, but I'm on Prozac, and have been for quite a while... Reducing it will make no difference to the cost... This is scary...  Our church leader mentioned a good idea yesterday... The idea of a 'Gratitude jar'... Where, on a good day, we write down things we are gratedul for, so that on a 'low' day, we can look in the jar, and be lifted by what we have written down on paper etc, and shoved in the jar...  I'm gonna try and sort out an evening meal in a mo... It falls to me to do most of the cooking these days, as I'm a full time carer for my other half... I like choosing the menu... It gives me a sense of selfworth.  I drink gallons of Coffee, not necessarily a good thing, but I love the taste... It is only instant, so not very strong...  I've just noticed the state of my mobile phone case... It is getting threadbare and tattered... I remember that, a few years ago, I would antibacterial spray the slightest spec of dust on anything I touched... Well, the phone case is virtually fabric now... What could be on it? I really don't know, save to say I haven't cleaned or sprayed it in months... And so far, no illness... And I guess I touch the phone at least three or four times an hour... So that is good... Maybe I do 'Bontaminate' it, in a good way... I don't wash or gel my hands much now, only after using the loo, or entering a store where they have the Gel at the entrance because of Covid regulations...  I no longer carry gel, It's just too much trouble to have stuff like that in my pocket... I found out yesterday, that my other half carries it, but I wilfully resist the urge to use hers...   I will try and get to playing my keyboard system this evening... I just love the sound it makes... I've been playing for a very long time... Okay... I must stop now...  Time to get the evening meal prepared...

David

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Hi there, Well, I did some music, and so far, all is okay... I did a self test at home, because I was due to go blood donors... The test was, thankfully, negative, so I got to the session, to find out that I would need to reschedule... So, the son's flat was the place to go... Is that perfect? Well, three lads in a flat, like students... I think you get the picture... And you wouldn't be wrong!  Tomorrow we are there again... And it will be a sausage and chip supper... Out of the wrappers, with no knives and forks... I don't put mayonnaise on it, cos, fair enough, that is just a little too messy, but hey, I can lick my fingers, and then wipe them dry on something... It has always been okay so far... If I don't overthink it, It will more than likely be okay... We can all try that... Eat a battered sausage with fingers, and wipe off the grease on the paper... We did it as children... To be honest, I eat the sausage first, it gives the chips a while to cool down a bit for handling!! Give it a go... Wash hands once only, before unwrapping the chips... They are then 'reasonably clean...'  Let's give our immune systems and natural defences something to do... Even if only to help us fight off coughs and colds this winter...

David

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Hi everyone... I'm trying very hard to be upbeat... I wish I could have some control over my dreams... During waking time, I use the cbt I  have been taught, to prevent overthinking, and dwelling on stuff... But at night, my mind takes on a journey all its own. I wake up feeling a little tense... I grab a cup of coffee, and get dressed. Then get into my day... Gradually,  things get a little easier as the day goes by... Okay, time to make another hot drink   

David 

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Hi everyone... Well, it has been interesting... The 'Bontamination' theme is still functioning well... As long as my hands are reasonably clean... I had to cope with a large supermarket shopping trip on Saturday... Ordinary stuff, as well as frozen food in packets and bags... wet bags... And then there's the trolley... We stacked it full, as it is a special shop we only visit every couple of months or so... I didn't have time to think, as I got the whole lot onto the long conveyor belt... Then, as the checkout operator scanned the barcode on each item, I very rapidly got everything back into the trolley, heavy stuff underneath fragile stuff... It all went back in! Then, after my other half had paid, it was over to the car where the carrier bags were stashed in a box... Every single bag will have been used before, but this time was full to bulging... Got it all into the car, then took trolley back to retrieve the token.  The thing is... I only antibactered the trolley handle and my hands on the way into the store... Before shopping commenced. I didn't do it again, even before getting into the loaded car to ride home... 

Will anything happen? Well, every time before has been fine... No ill-effects.... What about between each item? Nope, definitely not, it would have taken ages, and, let's be honest, no one else does it either, ever... So the evidence is overwhelmingly in my favour... I may have possibly 'Bontaminated' everything, But not contaminated it... Another thing... Before this happened, I bought fuel in a supermarket gas station... There were no gloves that I could see, so I got some paper towel to wrap around the fuel pump handle... Only reason? Our car runs on Diesel, and I didn't want to spread it allover the food wrappings, it doesn't evaporate like petrol, and I was prepared to argue the point with anyone who may have asked... 

For years now, I have never washed the cheese packet, or the milk bottles, bags of potatoes and fruit... I could only use water anyway, and that doesn't get rid of much anyway... So... All in all, that shopping trip is okay, all the food will be fine, I won't need to wash the wrappers before opening them, so that makes food preparation a bit quicker and easier. It is all stored away, without mental note of what touched what... The freezer is in the garden shed anyway, so I've also handled keys and locks... It has always turned out okay before, so will be again, I'm sure... I'll keep you all up dated...

David 

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Well, the cheese turned out okay... No sickness yet... I've got a bed guard now, to stop me falling out of bed... I've got a thing about tiger bread... It comes ready sliced, and is stored in a freezer in our shed... I also have a thing about wanting to use the loo, as soon as I've washed my hands do do food stuff... Which, if I went along with it, would need me to then wash my hands yet again, after using the loo. Well, I'm defying it, I go loo, wash my hands the once, then do the food stuff... Half as much gel, half as much water, half as much use of a damp towel, and half as much natural oils washed out of the skin of my hands... Anyway, I then go to the shed, open the door, open the freezer, and just pull two slices out of the frozen loaf... Into the microwave for thirty seconds, and I have fresh bread ready to use... And in the freezer it lasts weeks at least...  What is on the shed door? I don't know... Come to think of it, what is on the outside of the marmalade jar? And always has been... Whilst spreading, a little butter off the knife in the marmalade jar has never mattered when I was a child...  In care work it was a different matter... But I'm retired now... So the only person who could possibly ever become ill from it is me... And so far, over sixty years... Nothing... No ill-effects...  If we think about potatoes... We all have an idea of what organic potatoes are grown in, but we've only ever used ordinary tap water to clean them, that is, if we've even washed them at all... It is said that the goodness is in the peel anyway, so we don't peel them, and to be fair, not for many, many years... And jacket potatoes are not necessarily sterile, at least, not when done quickly in the microwave...  We'll wait and see...

David

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David, your posts are such a help! Everything you have written resonates. I worry about the germs on shopping, the post, shoes, coats, my clothes. I've have always been worried about touching things and contamination from a young age but I hid it through strategies. I didn't realise I did this until I saw a therapist in 2019 following the loss of my father. I lost my mother in 2008. 

Throughout the pandemic, we were wiping our shopping down with soapy kitchen roll, then wiping again with dettol wipes before putting them away. It could take 3 hrs to put the shopping away with all the handwashing in between. We only recently stopped doing this and now we use a dettol wipe before putting things away. My family did catch Covid but I told myself that this was coincidence as I didn't catch it. 

I make my family change out of their clothes when we arrive home from trips outside and I make them shower depending on where we've been. Outdoor trips = a change of clothes. Indoor trips = shower and hair wash. 

I am trying to change and stop listening to the thoughts. I read the science, I know how wonderful our bodies are at defending us and yet I can't let go. 

I love your word, 'bontamination', and I am going to tell myself that things are no longer contaminated but 'bontaminated'. Thank you. 

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Hi there, and thank you to you both. It is surprising how much we do indeed fear these things... Only yesterday, I saw an advert on TV for a fell known air freshener... They mention that, every time we flush, we spread something onto our soft surfaces... I thought originally, that that simply meant furniture, but hey, hang on a minute! Those soft surfaces are the hand towel, the bath towel... Need I say more? The thing is, this has always been the case... For decades... If that is safe for us, then just maybe, other things are too, and always have been... If the checkout operator in a supermarket doesn't need to sanitise their hands between every item and customer... Maybe, just maybe, that is all safe too... And almost anything can be purchased in a supermarket, and thus be put through the till. I have an opened bag of froven sausages in the freezer... In fact, some of the sausages have escaped! They are in effect, raw meat... Now some wrappers suggest we wash our hands before and after handling raw or cooked meat... So what is allover the other bags and boxes in the freezer? I've never sanitised anything in the freezer, opened or not, because it would be impossible, unworkable... So maybe, just maybe, things will be alright tonight at our evening meal of pizza and garlic baguettes... Delicious, and no knife and forks, just fingers... That have touched the computer keys... I'm yet to experience tummy-ache or diarrhoea symptoms... I guess my bodily systems are strong enough at present to fight off germs... Aren't we all?  Finally, the freezer shop is brilliant... In ours, the checkout operators wear woolly gloves to keep their hands warm whilst they work...  This is all our own evidence to suggest that we can begin to deconstruct the intrusive thoughts that keep persisting that we need to use antibacterial gel between everything we touch... Maybe we don't?  Maybe it is just 'Bontamination'. This word belongs to all of us...

David

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Okay... It was freezer shop again today... They had a special offer on, so I got enough to fill a carrier bag. At home, it all went into the freezer, just... I put the carrier bag in my pocket, so I always have one with me when out... This evening, I put something else in the carrier bag... It was damp inside... Oops! I've contaminated the bag and contents!  Or have I?  The thing is... This has happened to me hundreds of times before... And actually been okay... This 'Bontamination' happens to everyone who uses a plastic carrier bag in a frozen food shop... They used to be made of thick polythene, cos paper ones split. Even forty years ago... So it is 'Bontaminated' rather than contaminated... If it touches anything, it is a 'Bontaminator' (good).  Anyway, that's that...  I'll have to just wait and see, but it is almost certain to turn out fine, and while it is doing that, I'll try and get on with something else...

I'm finding that distance learning study is giving my overactive brain something else to think about, pushing away the intrusive thoughts without giving them any power...  We all need something to fill our days, rather than just sitting in a chair thinking...  A website I have found helpful in the past, is Inspiration peak. It is based in Canada, but has some brilliant writers...  Also, Check out 'Marcus John Kim', for some interesting stuff about going through OCD/ Cognitive Behavioural Therapy...  Their stuff is available on Amazon kindle too. I use my kindle on holidays... I got it second hand, but it takes up less space than a book...  Another good writer is 'Dr David Burns' (Not me!) who writes some stuff that I have found helpful on my journey...  Also, 'Cognitive behavioural therapy for dummies', by Rob Willson, and Rhena Branch.  Okay, time for some shut-eye, I have the telly on quiet in my room, with youtube videos on whilst I go to sleep...  I wonder what has always been on my pillow..? It has always been okay so far... It is my own pillow after all...

David

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, as almost expected... Nothing happened... Thinking about it, the inside of the carrier bag would only be the same as the outside of other bags in the freezer, and so far, they have been proved harmless.  I listen to favourite music a lot... It pushes the negative intrusive thoughts away... If I sing along, I get positive thoughts, and so try to keep coping that way... When I find myself starting to clean things too much, or my hands too much, I picture the sight of a while ago now CBT therapist asking me if I knew what was on my hands, and, was it really all that dangerous... I'm replacing the word 'Contaminated', with 'Bontaminated', it is a positive word, and so doesn't tend to feature in intrusive thoughts... The thoughts that try to make me doubt myself, or make me feel excessively guilty for something that really doesn't matter to people without Ocd.  In Nursing school we were force-fed the idea that the most dangerous parts of us are our hands... As if absolutely everything on our hands would be lethal to our patients... Totally discounting the harmless stuff that is always there, the good guys we've bumped off as a result of having to fight Covid...  I believe that We 'Bontaminate' the world, in a good way... The good greatly outweighs any bad stuff I have because I'm human... A bontaminator is a good thing...  Something which does not harm anyone else... A thought comes to mind here... As Humans, we kiss our nearest and dearest... With our lips... Now, where do we swab ourselves when doing a home covid test, the one in the blue and white boxes?  We have been 'Bontaminating' each other since there were more than two of us about... And for centuries before we had antiseptics of any kind...  I don't think the Romans had bleach...  Today it was another visit to the hospital for a routine visit... The antibacterial gel was there, so it got used, once only... on the way in, and then once only, before touching the car park money collection system... I really hope the hospital get a decent cut of the profits... If we happen to drop a piece of paper on the floor, then pick it up, Is it safe? Are our hands safe? Well, I've been the one to pick up mail from the doormat for at least the last sixty years or so...  'Bontamination, Bontamination, Bontamination, is what we need, if we want to be a Ocd breaker...'

Any one on here like 'Tiger' bread?  Spread thickly with buttery margarine, that then gets in the marmalade, then marmalade gets in the margarine tub... The thing is, it has never harmed anyone, ever... If it could have, it would have stuff written on the labels, about using separate knives... And as for Marmite spread... 

David

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  • 2 weeks later...

Okay... I'm still alive... No tummy-ache to report... Come to think of it, my hands are never perfectly clean... I may use the gel when entering a shop. But how quick does it work? We don't know... How long does it last once I've touched and placed in my basket/trolley? We really don't know for sure, do we? And, let's be honest, we never have, nor maybe, do we really need to. In a supermarket, I follow the activity of others around me. The checkout was busy today, and I had a broad range of goods, both frozen, and boxed. Hopefully everything will be okay. To be fair, I may never know for sure... And that is okay... I insist...

Tomorrow will be another day... I visit my sons... They live in an upstairs maisonette. With a buzzer entry system. Buttons to push, and a handrail to deal with... It has always been okay so far, even after nearlt two years of pandemic. As tomorrow is the first day of December, the Christmas decs can start to come out of the shed, and up on the windows and walls. The artificial tree comes indoors too... What germs from last year are gonna be on the decs stuff? No idea, but natural defences will protect myself, and everyone else's,  them too... We all have natural resistance... Otherwise the world would be toxic to us... We are reasonably clean, and as living, breathing human beings, that is all that can be expected of us... We have the evidence all around us to back this up, In court if necessary...

David 

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When we unboxed the Christmas decks, we found the missing bank/credit cards...  It's amazing what get puts away with the Christmas tree stuff! It is nice to see the brightly coloured lights in peoples houses on the approach to Christmas...  In one of our local supermarkets, we have an app on the mobile phone to scan offers... It means that, not only do we have to handle goods, but the phone too... The case is down to fabric... Is it clean? I really don't know, but others are doing this too... I may have gelled my hands on the way into the supermarket, but from then on it was 'touch everything to put it in the basket...'  I have my face covering... In the UK it is law now... What is gonna be on the wrappings when I put the shopping away in my kitchen cupboards? I don't know!  Does it really matter? I don't know!  But what I do know, is that, thousands of people go shopping everyday, and do so with no ill-effects... That is backed up by our own experience and thus evidence... My favourite 'Bontamination', is adding just the right amount of salt to my chips, sweetener to my Coffee,  and butter to mashed potatoes... Oh Yummy! 

David

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Hi there... I've been thinking about when we do cooking...  Blue cheese... Real nice... I heard somewhere that, in order to produce the blue bits, the cheesemaker actually injects something into the cheese block... Another thing about cheese... Just how old is it before it is put in the packet? And yoghurt... That's gone off before packaging! And Penicillin comes from stale bread, I believe. Today, it was church... I do so love the build up to Christmas... Grandchildren provide lots of fun... We do hug them... Is there anything on their hands? It doesn't seem to bother them... Even though they could be getting forcefed handwashing at school... I guess they are a good example for us to follow. Yes, as much as the covid rules allow, we'll try and learn from our wonderful children and grandchildren... ocd must not be allowed to spoil Christmas...

David

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Hi everyone... Let me start by wishing us all a hopefully peaceful Christmas... It will be different... But, perhaps next summer will come to warm us up again... Today, I was faced with the task of buying a Christmas present for one of my granddaughters...  I knew it when I saw it... Now, I'm into cuddly toys in a big way! Even though I'm in my mid-sixties! Well, I went into a large supermarket. There was gel, so it got used just the once. I then saw a large display with a huge pink and purple dinosaur on it. The price was okay... So went and sat in a gafe for a quick drink while I waited for my wife to join me later... When she did, I mentioned the dinosaur, which is actually as big as me, never mind my granddaughter!  Anyway, two minutes later, I've paid for it using a bank card. Now... Is the dinosaur safe? Well, to be honest, I cannot know how long it has been on the display, save that it was the only one. I've handled it, so has the checkout lady... And to be fair, When my granddaughter opens it at Christmas, Will she have perfectly clean hands? How can we know... Teddies and suchlike will rarely, if ever, get washed... This one definitely won't go in any washing machine... Is it safe for me to present it to her? Well, as far as can be reasonably ascertained, it is reasonably clean... If I don't wrap it, it can have its' own safetybelt in the car! I have to truest it. Just my own teddy I had as a little boy... Okay, we didn't have Covid then, but in a way, we had far worse... No MRI scanners in those days... No defibrillators... It wasn't really the 'good old days...'  Okay, time for tea... I've warmed some cooked chicken and put some soup and rice with it... More later...

David

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