Jump to content

Contamination OCD and mice in the flat, don't know how to cope!


Recommended Posts

Hi Everyone, bit of a saga here, but I am at my wit's end and feeling very hopeless ?

I have contamination ocd, which I have been dealing with for about 16 years. Most of the time it has been relatively under control ( though still present), especially for the last 5 or so years.

Last month things got a lot worse all of a sudden. I stayed in a hostel for a stag do and when I got home I became covinced I might have picked up bed bugs, which is one of the things I obsess about having had them once in a previous flatshare. I had just about gotten back on track when  about 10 days ago i was sitting on my sofa and a mouse ran out from underneath where i was sitting!

I had never been that bothered by mice before, and I tried to keep a level head about it and approach it how someone without ocd would. I cleaned up the droppings under the sofa  and found a hole where they were getting in which I plugged. But I guess i was feeling weaker than usual because I found I couldn't stop obsessing about it - what if i didn't clean the area well enough? What if there were other places they were getting in?

I tried to put it out of my mind, but couldn't stop ruminating, and then a day or two later I found droppings in the kitchen ? . So I spent all the next the day cleaning out all the cupboards and washing everything, trying to find any place they could be getting in and blocking it up. By this time I was really spiralling, loosing any control over the thoughts - I felt like I needed to check everywhere in the flat for signs of droppings and any entry points, so I spent the following day doing that, and found they had also gotten in to our shoe cupboard in the hallway, which now makes me feel like all my shoes are contaminated!

Despite spending two full days cleaning and blocking up holes I still feel like the flat is now contaminated, that the mice could have peed or pooped on almost anything in the flat, and And that maybe i have missed places that the mice could still be getting in.

My partner who i live with has been trying to convince me that I have done enough, and I have been trying to tell myself that, but then this morning I found something down the side of the sofa - I used a piece of paper to pick it up and carry it to the bathroom to take a closer look, and as I suspected it was indeed more mouse poop ?..

It's horrible because it's almost like when i find a new place the mice have gotten too it vindicates my ocd worrying - I was worried I hadn't cleaned enough, and then l and behold I was proved right.

And on top of worrying that the sofa is now contaminated, I am now also worried that i spread the germs around as i was carrying the poop on the paper to the bathroom, and also in the bathroom as i was looking at it over the sink that maybe particles fell off and have made the bathroom contaminated as well. So now as I am walking around I am constantly thinking I am spreading germs around, and that my feet are contaminated. And I worry when my partner uses the bathroom that she is spreading it around too. And i feel so stupid and guilty for ding what I feel was such a reckless thing - why didn't I just bag it up and put it straight in the bin!? I just feel completely overwhelmed, like I'll never feel clean or comfortable here again, I'll never be able to sit on my sofa without feeling dirty, or pick something up without worrying it might have mouse droppings or pee on it (case in point my laptop is about to die and I can't pick up the power cord as it was under the sofa where I found the mouse droppings and I am worried it might have gotten contaminated)

And now the mouse obsession has even spread to other areas, I am worried that any food in a shop could have had mice running over it in their storerooms so shopping is really hard. And in my office space I saw what i thought might have been a mouse dropping near my desk, so yesterday when I went there I had to move desks and sanitise everything with detol wipes, and when i made a cup of tea i was super worried that mice might have been in the cupboard where the mugs are kept, so I had to use a tissue to hold the mug, which then I worried may not have been that clean either. And every time I go back there I am worried that maybe a mouse ran over my desk in the night so feel i need to sanitise it every time.

It's crazy how quickly things have gotten so out of control and I am really struggling to cope, I don't really know what to do. Every day I wake up so full of dread and anxiety, it's hard to just get out of bed. Everything just feels impossible - like there is no way to feel like I can rid myself of this feeling of being contaminated by mice, and even when i do try and fight back by not cleaning, it's not making me feel better, I just feel like i am spreading the contamination around more and making my life harder in the future when i do decide to clean again.

I think it feels worse than some of my other obsessions because it's so uncontrollable... if someone walks in some dog mess to the flat or something like that, it's horrible for me but at least I can contain it, and i know once i have cleaned everything that it is gone. But the mice have minds of their own, so it feels like I can never be sure where they might have contaminated, or when they might return. It feels like they have infested my mind!

I don't really know what kind of response I am expecting for this, I guess maybe some reassurance, or anyone with contamination ocd who's been through similar things? or any suggestions of what I should do? I know I should just not listen to the thoughts, resist cleaning and carry on with my life, but it just feels so real that the thought of doing that feels utterly reckless and impossible. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by snowbear
removed trigger warning from title
Link to comment

Sideways

My terrace row and my flat had mice infestation some months ago. I found a good company who blocked access points with wire wool compounded with silicon. Some reflooring had to be done in the kitchen around the washing machine and under the units and over so the kickboards were removed and remedial work done under them. And under the stairs had to sealed off. I had the same feelings as you when I found droppings on the sofa and dead mice under it. But the feelings passed.
 

 Some minimal checking for a month or so after mouse proofing is prudent. For example I found another entry point at a pipe connection to a radiator indicated by a cluster of droppings before the company’s second visit which I sealed off with wire wool and silicon as recommended by the companies.

It sounds as if you have done a good job. The feelings of contamination will wear off.

I have something of a phobia about rodents and so my worse fears were realised. But you are overreacting by the constant cleaning and imagining that the food that you buy is contaminated and seeing signs of infestation at you workplace. Perhaps you are searching for signs?
 

Shops and supermarkets have regular pest control inspections. The company which I used has a contract with a very well known supermarket.
 

At home with regard to cleaning I would follow the example of your partner. If the cupboards are closed and at eye level the mice will find it difficult to enter. One regular clean on a regular basis is enough. The key is blocking entry which you have done.

Link to comment

I am so sorry this has happened to you. It sounds very distressing. 

That thing with carrying the poo is the same thing and thoughts I would do ??‍♀️ it's so annoying!

On a practical level have you had pest control in to trap any mice? 

 

Link to comment
  • snowbear changed the title to Contamination OCD and mice in the flat, don't know how to cope!

How did you deal with your OCD in the past when you got it mostly under control? Have you had therapy? Or worked with any ocd self-help books?

What I do when I start spiralling like that is I try to get back to the basics. So I might write up a hierarchy and start tackling it in a very systematic way. So by doing it that way I would work back from the easier ones, like stopping the compulsions and avoidance at work and shopping, and slowly work my way up to the ones around the house. The sooner you stop the new compulsions/avoidance I find the easier it is.

It is fine to deal with the mouse problem, but try to take cues from your partner about what amount is reasonable.

 Also, have you done cognitive work at all with your ocd? That could also be very helpful here.

I do really sympathise with you as I also have contamination ocd and I know how quickly things can spiral, but remember you've been coping well for a long time, so take some steps to get back on track and hopefully you'll be feeling better soon.

 

Link to comment

 Thanks fore the replies everyone, I think I just needed to unload to some people who understand, so thank you for responding.

21 hours ago, Lollipop said:

On a practical level have you had pest control in to trap any mice? 

 

I did think about calling out pest control (now I'm worrying I should have!) but wasn't sure if that was an over the top reaction after only actually seeing one mouse...

14 hours ago, Handy said:

You’re not trying to catch them?

I figured blocking all entry holes and removing all accessible food was probably enough but I did put out a humane mouse trap in the kitchen near where I thought was their main point of entry, but haven't caught any or seen any fresh signs. So i figure the non-OCD approach would be not to do anything more unless we see further signs of them... right? It's so hard sometimes to know what is a 'normal' worry and what is an OCD worry!

10 hours ago, L.M. said:

How did you deal with your OCD in the past when you got it mostly under control? Have you had therapy? Or worked with any ocd self-help books?

I had CBT therapy for a number of years around 15 years ago, but not much since then other than a bit of self help during bad patches, but today I spoke to a therapist who I am hopefully going to start seeing. I feel so tired of having these relapses, so perhaps the silver lining of this ordeal is it will make me once and for all properly tackle my core OCD beliefs, which I don't think I have ever really done. It's always just been about managing the symptoms, but I think it's time I start the hard work of proper recovery!

 

 

 

Link to comment

I'm not sure you need pest control as such. But personally I would lay a few more traps (check behind the fridge they like it there) and use chocolate or peanut butter in the traps. They can be pesky to get out and lie low for a while.

But if this is going to trigger your OCD more do nothing 

Link to comment
37 minutes ago, sideways said:

had CBT therapy for a number of years around 15 years ago, but not much since then other than a bit of self help during bad patches, but today I spoke to a therapist who I am hopefully going to start seeing. I feel so tired of having these relapses, so perhaps the silver lining of this ordeal is it will make me once and for all properly tackle my core OCD beliefs, which I don't think I have ever really done. It's always just been about managing the symptoms, but I think it's time I start the hard work of proper recovery!

Excellent news about contacting the therapist. And excellent to take this as a good time to step into taking your recovery to a whole new level. I am at a similar point where I have been managing at a certain level but keep having incidents like yours send me into another spiral. I too hope to really take this all in hand and find my way to a deeper level of recovery.

I think your approach to the mice sounds good. Definitely no expert, but we had them at one of our houses and was really surprised at how blocking the holes made a big difference. We had mouse poop showing up all over, and i didn't think we'd ever be rid of them, but back then I didn't have this sort of ocd so I wasn't worried about it. We just kept food sealed, kept trapping them, and blocking holes/passageways until they stopped showing up. 

Link to comment

Hi there... Some years ago we had a mouse. My main fear was that it would run over me as I slept... They move really fast, and so they look a lot bigger than they really are... They would run across the room from under our fireplace... We live in a bungalow, so we don't honestly know where they came from... It's the way they move... Like big spiders... As a small child my family lived near forest... So spiders the size of my hand were regularly in the house... Now I'm an adult, I haven't yet found anyone, including myself, who will stay in the same room, as a spider the size of my hand!  In the end, for the mice, we used some humane live traps, and released them along way from the building, and so far, they haven't come back... It is scary though...

David 

Link to comment
9 hours ago, L.M. said:

I think your approach to the mice sounds good.

I just wanted to clarify that I wasn't referring to your first post in which you were mentioning a lot of ocd behaviour around the mouse issue. What I was referring to when I said that was:

10 hours ago, sideways said:

I figured blocking all entry holes and removing all accessible food was probably enough but I did put out a humane mouse trap in the kitchen near where I thought was their main point of entry, but haven't caught any or seen any fresh signs.

 When we had our mouse problem we didn't bother with pest control and that was the sort of approach we took and were successful.

 

Anyways best of luck with the therapist--I hope it works out well!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...