Pregnant Wife Struggling

[DrummerDan]

Hi all,

 

My wife has suffered with OCD and Anxiety for a while and is beginning to get help through a local mental health service.

We're now pregnant, which is great, but this also gives her a new avenue of OCD to wrestle with.

We were at a wedding on Saturday (the first since COVID) so we're both a bit on tenter hooks with the pregnancy, she's only had 1 vaccine etc.

She went to the toilet for a wee and the inside of the gusset on her underwear touched the front exterior of the bowl. She's concerned about contracting things like STIs from it and now wants blood tests.

I really don't want to accommodate reassurance traps. I've told her we can get tested if she wants/can. The GP aren't the most understanding which is a shame.

Does anyone have any tips on how I can help support her?

Thanks in advance.

[Gemma@OCDUK]

Hi DrummerDan,

I'm sorry to hear that your wife is struggling so much with OCD, particularly while she is pregnant. It is often an already stressful time and OCD can only add to that stress. It's good to hear that your wife is beginning to get help through her local mental health service, as it sounds like she would benefit from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) at this time. 

Unfortunately, getting an STI test will only fuel the OCD further so it is not something we would recommend, as it really sets an unhealthy standards for any future toilet visits. Have you looked into any self-help books together, Break Free from OCD https://www.ocduk.org/shop/break-free-from-ocd/ is a good place to start. 

We do have some presentations from our online conference that you might find helpful, Helping a loved one with OCD https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/family/helping-family-member-with-ocd/ by Lauren Callaghan and Understanding why people with OCD do what they do, and why other people get involved https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/main/understanding-why-people-with-ocd-do-what-they-do/ by Mark Freeston.

I hope this is helpful,

Gemma