Contamination OCD

[Madchoc]

Hi everyone, I have contamination OCD, I am doing exposures, but my fear is many things eg dog & cat faeces, discarded rubbish and food, hence the colours brown and black , cause terrible panic attacks. These can simply be marks on the floor, inside or out. I always assume the worst. I feel really stupid but does anyone else , see things like for instance when showering, which is a nightmare, I think I have seen a black mark where I am washing. So I end up washing and re washing, spending far too long in the shower. I know this sounds ludicrous, but……………
I feel my OCD has come back with a vengeance since I found out my mum has Alzheimer’s. She has always been my rock for so many years.

Thanks xx

 

[Madchoc]

Hi does anyone have these symptoms of seeing things that are not there.?

[Laura91213]

I don't necessarily see things that are not there, but I have lost the ability to see what's real and what's not. For example, even if i'm near to something and don't even touch it, if i think about it too much, I convince myself that it's all over me and then I have to wash my hands multiple times before they feel clean again. I also have a problem with showering too, as it takes so long.. I have to do it in a certain way, and recently i have been questioning if for example the shower gel bottle is clean or the taps that i'm touching so I have to clean them first..ugh. I actually avoid showering now as much as I can which is completely ironic. Are you in therapy?

[Angst]

It doesn’t sound ludicrous that OCD returns when your mother has dementia and she has been the bedrock of your life for many years. There is a reversal of roles where you become her anchor to everyday life. Both my parents suffered from dementia so I have some experience of this.  I would join a support group and join charities to educate yourself about the condition. If you are under extreme stress then unusual perceptions can occur.  Have you talked to a therapist about this?

[Madchoc]

Hi Laura91213, thanks for your reply, you sound just like me, it’s horrible isn’t it. I’m not in therapy at the moment, hopefully it will be soon. I am doing exposure therapy on my own, at the moment. 
Take care xx

[Madchoc]

Hi Angst, thanks for your reply, I will be able to talk to a therapist soon .

Take care xx

[Busy Fool]

This sounds like me. Even if I see something I think is contaminated, I feel I've touched it.  I find I walk by things in slow motion and still feel I've touched it and have to start again.  It's horrible isn't it?  My CBT has finished and I'm looking at self help books.

[PolarBear]

4 hours ago, Laura91213 said:

I don't necessarily see things that are not there, but I have lost the ability to see what's real and what's not. For example, even if i'm near to something and don't even touch it, if i think about it too much, I convince myself that it's all over me and then I have to wash my hands multiple times before they feel clean again. I also have a problem with showering too, as it takes so long.. I have to do it in a certain way, and recently i have been questioning if for example the shower gel bottle is clean or the taps that i'm touching so I have to clean them first..ugh. I actually avoid showering now as much as I can which is completely ironic. Are you in therapy?

I have to wash my hands multiple times...

I have to do it (showering) in a certain way...

I have to clean them first...

No. You don't have to do any of these things. A little, obnoxious part of your brain tells you that you have to do these things, but you CHOOSE to do them. 

[Laura91213]

On 16/10/2021 at 18:59, PolarBear said:

I have to wash my hands multiple times...

I have to do it (showering) in a certain way...

I have to clean them first...

No. You don't have to do any of these things. A little, obnoxious part of your brain tells you that you have to do these things, but you CHOOSE to do them. 

This is what I keep reminding myself but it is hard. The funny thing is I never even had any of these thoughts a few months ago and now they’re just taking over. I try to remember how I did things before but the thought of doing it that way again makes me so anxious I can’t bring myself to do it. 

[gel]

4 hours ago, Laura91213 said:

This is what I keep reminding myself but it is hard. The funny thing is I never even had any of these thoughts a few months ago and now they’re just taking over. I try to remember how I did things before but the thought of doing it that way again makes me so anxious I can’t bring myself to do it. 

OMG thats so me !

its the worst what did u do for this? are u seeing therapist? 

[Laura91213]

6 hours ago, gel said:

OMG thats so me !

its the worst what did u do for this? are u seeing therapist? 

I’m currently waiting for therapy through the nhs hopefully in the next few weeks I’ll get a call I would seek therapy too if you haven’t already

[Liambro1991]

I know this feeling also, I can walk to the fridge and think I've rubbed up against the laundry detergent or got near the anti mould spray in the cupboard, whilst I'm cooking, I question everything I cookweather its in date or if its even what I'm cooking.... I try and stand right next to the chemicals and detergents for along as it takes to get bored of being there until my anxiety calms and its not louder than me...