Advice and Support - Husband with OCD/Intrusive Thoughts

[Gemma3152]

Hi, 

My husband was diagnosed with Anxiety several years ago now however during recent therapy sessions he had been diagnosed with OCD. He has explained how he has intrusive thoughts which are quite distressing. 

In the past few months, since June his anxiety has massively increased - he’s struggling with it a lot more than before and as a wife it’s heart breaking to know he’s struggling and getting frustrated it’s not easing. He thought it might be anxiety due to expecting our first baby and it might decrease when the baby arrived but it hasn’t. 

He can go about his daily life as normal however inside he’s struggling, he is getting help through a therapist which has transferred him to a psychologist to help deal with the anxiety and OCD.

I’m reaching out for advice on how I can help support my husband and avoid saying the wrong things, if anyone had experience of this and can offer any advice it would be much appreciated. 
 

Gemma 

[snowbear]

Hi Gemma and welcome to the forum!

I think the best way to help your husband is to try to get on with normal life wherever possible. So rather than avoiding saying anything which might upset him, you say what you would normally say and if he finds it distressing then you help him deal with his distress. You do this the same way as when he gets distressed by his own thoughts. I suggest asking him what his therapist has suggested he do, and then when he gets distressed you remind him what he's supposed to be doing to help manage the anxiety.

In short, try not to change how you behave or what you say as this kind of avoidance accomodates the OCD instead of fighting it. Sometimes you have to use your judgement and that's ok, there's no perfect way to do things anyway. Just do the best you can while keeping things as normal as possible for you and the baby. (Congratulations on the new arrival too! )