Help to cope with my son's ocd

[BeccyE]

My son has OCD. We're on a waiting list for counselling but this may take place until Nov/Dec as the waiting list is so long ( our referral was made at the beginning of August). His condition has significantly deteriorated over the last 2 weeks and it is having a real impact on myself and my other son. He's putting out clothes to wash without having worn them, wanting to shower frequently and it's starting to affect his eating. I got really angry with him today and regretted it after but I feel so helpless and out of control. Can anyone suggest anything to help while we wait for our appointment?

[DJ1000]

I feel you, my daughter is 13 and I am in a similar situation  she has started showering every day after school as feels she is dirty from other children brushing past her in school and random clothes are in the wash basket all the time.  She did have counselling once a week but that wasn't overly helpful. Her OCD has increased over the last 2 weeks at an alarming rate that makes it difficult to understand how or why it suddenly worsened and she can't explain it either. We have a telephone assessment with CAMHS in 4 weeks time although my daughter does not wish to engage with them, she told me her OCD is a part of her and if I loved her then I shouldn't be trying to fix her! 

My advice at the moment is to go along with it until you can get the professional help and advice for his mental health and your own and if you can to walk away when it gets frustrating as I know they can't help it but really hard to understand that as it seems so illogical.

[Dakagraphics-David]

My cbt therapist used to ask me to tell him what I considered to be on my clothing... Is it really that dangerous? My Jersey... Could it be the same as what is on his Jersey? Is his clothing dangerous? And if not, why? I found that I really couldn't answer him politely... How could I be so hazardous, and him not? Could I really have that much power or influence over those around me? I had to admit that I just couldn't say...  There are books to help... Rob Willson and Rhena Branch, books available on Amazon. Also Dr David Burns has a book called 'Feeling good the new mood therapy'. It is available also on ebay.

What happens when people kiss on the lips? Does it ever make anyone ill? And breathing... Is that really that clean? We seem to survive...

David 

[Caramoole]

Hi to both parents

Have you both had a look at our main website HERE  it has a wealth of information and resources.  Check ot the links for young people & for family.  You may also find this video presentation helpful OCD Introduction for Parents

I know OCD seems quite illogical.  Sadly to the sufferer it seems very real & very frightening.  The links above might help you to understand things a little bit more

[BeccyE]

So good to hear from others and to know it isn't just me. I will check out the videos on the website as soon as I can and try some of the things suggested.  Thank you.

Good luck with your daughter. Let me know how you get on. I have managed to get a private appointment with a psychologist for my son this week. I felt I had no other option but it was still difficult to find someone because of the current situation with teen mental health - several had no space. 

[DJ1000]

Fingers crossed the private psychologist is helpful, do let me know how you get on as this is something I have considered but my daughter is very choosy who she talks to. 

[BeccyE]

We had the first session via Zoom. I stayed for the first 10 mins and then left him to it. He didn't stop talking which I think was a good sign. Just background stuff I think. Afterwards he went to bed without getting anxious about whether his hair or the bedding was dirty (the usual thing). Next week they're going to start talking about distraction techniques. Fingers crossed. I will keep you posted. 

[DJ1000]

Ahhh this sounds positive @BeccyE I too am looking for a private psychologist specialising in OCD as I cannot wait until I may or may not get CBT referral and that will also be a waiting game. In the interim my daughter now won't sleep at night as too anxious, changed clothes about four times in the evening and is up to handwashing in one session six times and still doesn't belive she is clean. 

[BeccyE]

We're similar. Always asking if head is dirty or sheets dirty before bed. Quite stressful. I have taken to keeping clean clothes in my room so we don't get through so many. I also told him I would only wash his sheets once a week and PJ's too. He seems to have accepted this so says something for setting rules and not always giving in.

Have been dreading half term. We're going to try and go out a fair bit as he seems better outside- he says there's nothing to touch. Let's hope the weather holds.

Take care and let me know how you're doing.

[DJ1000]

Well we went to Chessington today, had issues getting into the car before we left as she thought the car was dirty so I had to put a towel on the seat (she had never had an issue with the car before). Being at Chessington wasn't too bad but noe that we are home she has had a meltdown. She is crying as she doesn't want to have a shower as she says it is exhausting showering every day but knows if she doesn't then she will make everything dirty. No matter what advice I give her she gets annoyed and slams the bathroom door shut on me. She is now showering

[mike777]

I really can empathise with both of of you. I just posted about the difficulties we are having with my daughter. Her OCD comes out at bedtime and it's keeping her and the whole family awake each night. Similarly, part of the OCD involves hand washing, not touching things that she thinks will make her dirty, changing her bed clothes and  constantly running her clothes through the washing machine. She becomes so anxious over her OCD at night that it keeps her awake and then she panics because she cannot sleep. 

We also have a CAHMS assessment next month but we need to get help sooner because we're really struggling.

BeccyE, I hope your sessions with the psychologist go well, they sound to have started quite positively.

DJ100, you have inspired me to organise a day out, perhaps it will be a distraction for her.

Edited October 26, 2021 by mike777

[BeccyE]

Second session last night and again, he was more relaxed after. He doesn't want me involved with the sessions at all but if it's helping can only be good.

[DJ1000]

Really pleased it's going okay. We have our first face to face assessment with CAMHS on Tuesday