Groinal response in OCD. Why?

[Itsmemario]

Hi everyone, 

Last Summer i was diagnosed with OCD, in particular, POCD. This Is the worst, most disgusting, terrifying and disturbing type of OCD: It increased my depression and forced me to avoid certain places such as schools,play ground, parks, and so on. I'm here to ask you something about this "groinal response": Yesterday i was having sex with my girlfriend (she's 20, Just like me) but at a certain point i began thinking about her when She was a Little girl, testing myself in order to verify if i could have ever been aroused by imaging some "dirty" stuff about her and me; at First my anxiety increased and i started sweating, but later, when i thought about that image once again, i had an orgasm and obviously, also an ejaculation. I can assure you i was extremely anxious and extremely sad when that happened, and about to cry and run away. I know that this kind of images doesn't make me "horny", not at all, but why did this happen? I read that this Is called "groinal response" and may includes ejaculation, erection, tingles, something like that, even when the person who Is experiencing that Is disgusted by his thoughts, Just like me. I'm here because i Need you to explain me this topic more clearly, very few people on internet speak about this stuff and It can be very helpful. Thank you very much for Reading my message!

[Tamagochi]

"Groinal responses" are typical and common in this kind of OCD.

It is also very common the experience you wrote down about having sex imagining with the object of your obsession to assess if this was giving you a reaction in your body. It is basically a way of compulsion (checking compulsion) and this will only make your obsession bigger, your anxiety will increase and you will need more compulsions to make sure that you are not what you are afraid to be. 

This kind of checks are always unreliable and a trap because body responses are normal when you focus your attention on it and it does not mean that you enjoy them or like them, it just means that you create them putting all your attention, you will only increase your mental problem (OCD) with this kind of checks. 

My advice from my experience is to disregard all kind of images and thoughts related with the object of your obsession when you are having sex and in your everyday life, just let them come and go like clouds in the sky, it is normal that they appear now because your brain is totally obsessed about it. If you just disregard them and you do not make compulsions (checks...) they will fade away with time and they will finally disappear but this does not happen from one day to another, it takes time and big effort to avoid compulsions (checks, avoidance, rumination ...).

We are not what we think, we are what we do and we do what we want to do not what we are afraid to do.

I hope it helps.

In health.

[Eric Dave]

Hi there.  This happened to me recently.  I was having sex with my girlfriend and she was on top and I tested in my mind imagining it was a guy and I immediately had an unwanted orgasm and felt very anxious and down.

I too worry a lot about this

[PolarBear]

Testing is a compulsion that will only lead to further problems. So is avoiding children.

[Eric Dave]

I am convinced I am gay.  My sex drive to women has diminished and diminshed to a point now where its zero.

Now I get groinal responses everytime I see a picture of a man on tv or internet.  I can't understand why this is happening.

I am really worried this is proof and that the groinal responses are evolving and will one day actually lead to arousal and erections.  I am starting to feel new sensations when groinals occur which make me fearful I am forming new brain circuitry.

[snowbear]

On 15/11/2021 at 02:45, Itsmemario said:

I'm here to ask you something about this "groinal response"

21 hours ago, Eric Dave said:

 I can't understand why this is happening.

It happens because you've spent countless hours doing compulsions, testing yourself and ruminating, and the result is your brain develops an association between what turns you off and being aroused.

In short you told your brain there was a connection, and now every time you think about it your body reacts to the idea (association) and dutifully gives you an erection.

Your body only has an on switch and and off switch for arousal. It doesn't even discriminate between what kind of arousal - sex, fear, excitement...it just gets the message 'Blood's pumping, heart rate up' > response.

What gets your blood pumping and puts your heart rate up is up to you. It can be anxiety-driven compulsions or having fun riding a rollercoaster. And while you're riding the rollercoaster you decide what the arousal means. 'Yay! This is fun!' or 'OMG, this is a nightmare!'

You need to teach your brain to drop the association. In other words, stop doing the compulsions which maintain a link between your trigger, the meaning you put on it and arousal.

[Eric Dave]

My groinal responses have increased in the last 10 years from once a week to multiple times a day.

I really am afraid its actual arousal.

The sensation I used to get was a tightening sensation somewhere in the root of my penis but I would never get bigger or an erection.

Now its starting to cause a twitch in my penis and a tiny bit of arousal and it freaks me out.

Also they occur now at the drop of a hat.  I can be watching tv for example watching Fawlty Towers and this man in 70's attire had his ftop button of his yellow shirt undone showing a tiny bit of chest hair and when I saw this instantly got a groinal.

My sex drive to women has totally decreased to zero.  Even 2 years ago I would get aroused by women in porn etc..  Now nothing.

I'm really scared my body is changing and new gay neural pathways are forming and getting grooved and all my old attractions have gone forever.

[snowbear]

1 minute ago, Eric Dave said:

and it freaks me out.

There's your problem in a few words. You're STILL giving these physical body responses meaning, still telling yourself they are significant.

They're not, they never were. And even if you're still worrying about what they say about your sexual preferences (what they mean) in another 10 years they never will be.

3 minutes ago, Eric Dave said:

My sex drive to women has totally decreased to zero.  Even 2 years ago I would get aroused by women in porn etc..  Now nothing.

After so much time and focus on your OCD I'd be surprised if you'd said you had any normal sex drive left.

5 minutes ago, Eric Dave said:

I'm really scared my body is changing and new gay neural pathways are forming and getting grooved and all my old attractions have gone forever.

And here you go again. Layer upon layer of 'giving it a meaning' and always choosing the meaning which freaks you out the most.

You're rewiring your brain to be permanently anxious and ever more gullible to the nonsense meanings your OCD tells you.

You stop (reverse) that rewiring by stopping compulsions.

Your biggest compulsion is interpreting everything you experience as proof of being gay despite not wanting to be and not feeling that way.

If you don't recognise this is what you're doing (interpreting / giving meaning to things that have no meaning) then you can't stop doing it.