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Scared I’ll be sectioned


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Hi there,

how do I be more open about my harm ocd as I’m scared I’ll be judged or even section if i tell them about the intrusive thoughts. 

I suffer from harm ocd but always lie to people what my intrusive thoughts are so I don’t get sectioned incase i say i get thoughts of hurting myself or others.

I’d never hurt anybody and my ocd makes me think such horrible thoughts like nobody will believe me if I was to tell them I have harm ocd. Ive had ocd for years however my intrusive thoughts used to be based on i was scared I’d get cancer or infected with a serious illness. 
 

 

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Hi Summer9173,

This is common worry for many people, I know it can feel scary to open up about intrusive thoughts, but it is unlikely that you will be sectioned for thoughts that you are so scared of, so please try not to worry too much about it. Harm based thoughts are very common amongst the OCD community and mental health professionals will most likely have heard them all before. Have you reached out for support from the NHS?

There is a great self-help book that you might find helpful called Anxiety and Related Depression https://www.ocduk.org/shop/ocd-anxiety-related-depression/ which is co-written by Adam Shaw a sufferer and his therapist Lauren Callaghan. Adam struggled with OCD around thoughts of harm for some time and Lauren helped him to recovery. 

You might also find the presentation ''It’s not the thought that counts: Unpacking the different types of thoughts and thinking in OCD'' by Adam Radomsky which is happening at our annual conference online this year. Hopefully, this will help to debunk the myth that thoughts matter. You can register here https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conferences-across-the-uk/2021-virtual/main/its-not-the-thought-that-counts/

Gemma :)

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Hey @Summer9173,

I have personally suffered with intrusive thoughts/impulses about self harm for a long time now. I think it started around 20 years ago but I didn't know I had OCD and didn't have treatment at the time. It got really bad around 14 years ago, which is when I first got a diagnosis and sought help. It still comes from time to time, I had a relapse 3 years ago, but am doing better now and managing the thoughts. What I'm trying to say is that you're definitely not alone with this one! It is really hard to open up but I think a lot of us in this community can relate.

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Thank you so much for your reply, every bit of advice really does make me feel that one bit better :)

 

I am struggling so much with Harm ocd at the moment but I’m like you throughout my life I’ve had intrusive thoughts without actually knowing it was OCD, I find my intrusive thoughts tend to change too but at the moment there horrible thoughts that I’ll hurt somebody in front of me or loose control and hurt somebody like I’m possessed and get sent to prison etc, it’s all worry’s I care deeply about as I wouldn’t even hurt a fly. It’s why I don’t understand what’s going on in my head, but I hope your doing well too and as a fellow OCD sufferer, we are the strongest of people for battling with our own brain everyday.

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6 hours ago, Gemma@OCDUK said:

Hi Summer9173,

This is common worry for many people, I know it can feel scary to open up about intrusive thoughts, but it is unlikely that you will be sectioned for thoughts that you are so scared of, so please try not to worry too much about it. Harm based thoughts are very common amongst the OCD community and mental health professionals will most likely have heard them all before. Have you reached out for support from the NHS?

There is a great self-help book that you might find helpful called Anxiety and Related Depression https://www.ocduk.org/shop/ocd-anxiety-related-depression/ which is co-written by Adam Shaw a sufferer and his therapist Lauren Callaghan. Adam struggled with OCD around thoughts of harm for some time and Lauren helped him to recovery. 

You might also find the presentation ''It’s not the thought that counts: Unpacking the different types of thoughts and thinking in OCD'' by Adam Radomsky which is happening at our annual conference online this year. Hopefully, this will help to debunk the myth that thoughts matter. You can register here https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conferences-across-the-uk/2021-virtual/main/its-not-the-thought-that-counts/

Gemma :)

Thank you Gemma I really appreciate your advice so much :)

Is there any way I can tell my mum about the thoughts I get because she is like a comfort to me and I always feel safe when she is here, but I’m 19 and I shouldn’t be relying on somebody else to help me so she’ll drive me to work because I’m scared to get on public transport in case I loose it - intrusive thoughts really are horrible :( 

I just want to love my life and live my life as normal again, but thank you for recommending them books I’m going to purchase them as I need to start making changes. I have a counselling session this Thursday before I start CBT but my OCD is so bad I think like what if I loose control like I’m possessed at the therapy session? I would never hurt anybody so I have no idea why I get these thoughts and it really distrsses me so much :( at the same time however it’s nice as horrible as it is that so many of us suffer with OCD and intrusive thoughts, that by hearing other people’s stories it really does calm me down a lot :) 

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53 minutes ago, Summer9173 said:

Thank you so much for your reply, every bit of advice really does make me feel that one bit better :)

 

I am struggling so much with Harm ocd at the moment but I’m like you throughout my life I’ve had intrusive thoughts without actually knowing it was OCD, I find my intrusive thoughts tend to change too but at the moment there horrible thoughts that I’ll hurt somebody in front of me or loose control and hurt somebody like I’m possessed and get sent to prison etc, it’s all worry’s I care deeply about as I wouldn’t even hurt a fly. It’s why I don’t understand what’s going on in my head, but I hope your doing well too and as a fellow OCD sufferer, we are the strongest of people for battling with our own brain everyday.

Have you ever had therapy for OCD? I know you're scared to tell anyone about these thoughts but someone who understands OCD will understand this.

First of all, I promise you that you won't lose control and hurt anyone! I think it might also be good to identify how you typically respond to these thoughts. For example, for me a big thing was avoidance, I would avoid sharp objects (once I went so far as to throw away every sharp knife in my home!). So maybe come up with a list of things you do when the intrusive thoughts strike.

The other thing to remember is that these thoughts (and the urges/physical sensations that come with them) are temporary. My therapist told me to imagine myself at a train platform, to picture myself standing close to the edge of the platform. Then imagine a fast train passing by. What happens is that the force of the passing train may make you feel a bit off balance or a little shaky, but if you just stand firm, it will safely pass you and you'll feel normal again. That is how to treat these thoughts, yes they are strong and they completely shake you, but just stand firm and they will pass.

I hope these ideas help a bit, they have helped me.

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35 minutes ago, malina said:

Have you ever had therapy for OCD? I know you're scared to tell anyone about these thoughts but someone who understands OCD will understand this.

First of all, I promise you that you won't lose control and hurt anyone! I think it might also be good to identify how you typically respond to these thoughts. For example, for me a big thing was avoidance, I would avoid sharp objects (once I went so far as to throw away every sharp knife in my home!). So maybe come up with a list of things you do when the intrusive thoughts strike.

The other thing to remember is that these thoughts (and the urges/physical sensations that come with them) are temporary. My therapist told me to imagine myself at a train platform, to picture myself standing close to the edge of the platform. Then imagine a fast train passing by. What happens is that the force of the passing train may make you feel a bit off balance or a little shaky, but if you just stand firm, it will safely pass you and you'll feel normal again. That is how to treat these thoughts, yes they are strong and they completely shake you, but just stand firm and they will pass.

I hope these ideas help a bit, they have helped me.

I’ve never had therapy for OCD as I’ve always been able to keep it in but because I’ve been going through quite a lot of stress lately, I feel like it’s just all come to me all at once :(

Thank you for telling me how you deal with the intrusive thoughts I’ll give it a go and see how this can help me too because overall I’ve always been scared about not being in control of my brain or my thoughts, so I’ve never been drunk etc because I’m scared of loosing control. Im so sorry that you went through it too it really is such a horrible thing to have but your so strong for even getting therapy as I’ve always been so scared to open up to people for help, thank you for being an inspiration in that sense and I think therapy for me too would be the best option :)

 

I understand the knifes situation it’s like with me I’ll get scared I’ll randomly attack somebody which is way too far out of my character as I don’t even confront or argue with anybody! I don’t understand why these thoughts even bother me because I’d never hurt anybody but it’s like the thought gives an urge which I hate and I hide away scared and panicky because my mind will persuade me I’m like that. Thank you so much for your advice though it really does mean the world as I’m only just  coming to grips with the worst side and in the middle of this horrible wave :(

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12 hours ago, Summer9173 said:

Thank you Gemma I really appreciate your advice so much :)

Is there any way I can tell my mum about the thoughts I get because she is like a comfort to me and I always feel safe when she is here, but I’m 19 and I shouldn’t be relying on somebody else to help me so she’ll drive me to work because I’m scared to get on public transport in case I loose it - intrusive thoughts really are horrible :( 

I just want to love my life and live my life as normal again, but thank you for recommending them books I’m going to purchase them as I need to start making changes. I have a counselling session this Thursday before I start CBT but my OCD is so bad I think like what if I loose control like I’m possessed at the therapy session? I would never hurt anybody so I have no idea why I get these thoughts and it really distrsses me so much :( at the same time however it’s nice as horrible as it is that so many of us suffer with OCD and intrusive thoughts, that by hearing other people’s stories it really does calm me down a lot :) 

Hi Summer,

You'll find that OCD will throw these sorts of worries at you, what if I lose control, what if something happens, but it's just OCD's way of stopping you living your life. When we react to these worries and avoid doing things, we never find out that nothing would have happened if we had just carried on as normal and that is OCD's trump card. You haven't had CBT yet, so you are still yet to learn these tools, so in the meantime learn as much as you can before therapy, so that you can start to tackle it, in whatever small way you can. 

In terms of telling your mum, it does depend on why you want to tell her. Some people rely heavily on reassurance from their loved ones, but since this is just another compulsion, it really doesn't help in the long term. If you want to help her understand, then watching some of our conference together might help as will reading the book by Adam and Lauren :)

Gemma

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13 hours ago, Summer9173 said:

I don’t understand why these thoughts even bother me because I’d never hurt anybody

It's usually about that fear of "losing control".  At some point you've probably felt very anxious and unable to control the anxiety.  Our mind races on at a 100 miles an hour, the anxiety builds and builds and you think, "What if I can't control this? What if it gets worse? What if I go mad?"  Then we go on to a load  of thoughts like "What does going mad mean?  What if I harmed myself? What if I attacked someone?"  The questions & thoughts come tumbling along like a stack of dominos and before we know it the fear is planted. "Why did I think that......that proves I'm insane....I must be a danger to others"  You try to push the thoughts away but now they become intrusive, they come into your mind unwanted.  You start avoiding people, you hide dangerous things like knives.  

I can assure you you will neither go mad or lose control.  You just fear you will.  I've experienced this ranging from loved ones to random strangers.  The thoughts can relate to anyone but generally you fear losing control around family, babies, pets, the elderly, those who we see as vulnerable.  

I really would recommend the book that Gemma has mentioned :)

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