Accepting the thoughts and sensations

[ThomasOCD]

Hello I know I post almost everyday but my depression seems worse everyday. 
 

What happens to me I take the memory of my girlfriend Her voice and everything she was doing and put it into another person and then I check do I feel the same about it, I am worried that I can feel the same feelings for someone else as well, which OCD tries to tricks me that I feel the same. I feel like OCD is trying to take the only thing I have. Can anyone help me with these OCD tricks ? 

[ThomasOCD]

Yesterday I had a bad day, when I was l lying next to my girlfriend and had this memory of being on a party, it was Fun with my friend and I had this wierd thought about penis and I accept it and felt like yeah whatever and I felt erection coming up but I accept it as well and I felt this physical arousal so I thought I am accepting this as well and I thought „it feels good yeah” I know that physical arousal is pleasurable this is how we are designed but After I accept it and felt  pleasurable physical arousal I felt bad anxiety and I felt a sleep, in the morning I still had a anxiety of the roof it makes me feel bad really bad. Accepting and telling yourself it feels fine to make it go is bad I hate it my anxiety is really bad now. I had to take medication to calm down my anxiety

 

 

Does this make me not straight ? 

[Tamagochi]

It is all about the same.

Your brain is totally obsessed with the gay topic, focusing continuously on your genital area: looking for any sensations and building up them together with the anxiety and your obsessive thoughts.

Focus on other things and disregard everything related with your obsession.

[ThomasOCD]

Yes but I think it may have been an erection from my girlfriend which I always have when I go to sleep next to Her, I had this wierd thought and I accept it but then I felt this erection going on and I accept it and thought to suprise my ocd „it feels good it physical arousal it supposed to feel good and I felt pleasurable feeling in my body” and accept it but then I realised what might have given me this erection so I had anxiety but I felt a sleep.  It hurts much. But maybe I associated this arousal to thought, which tricks me into believing that I had it from the thought which I accepted. 

Edited November 18, 2021 by ThomasOCD
More information for help

[PolarBear]

Your problem, Thomas, is that you are constantly thinking about all of this. You want every question (obsession) answered by us. You feel you need to deal with every thought that pops up.

You don't. 

You are allowed to leave them alone. You don't need any answers to any of your obsessions.

Right now you are working your brain in overtime, ruminating a lot, trying to figure out what the thoughts and sensations mean. But all that work is just making your situation worse. 

If you leave your obsessions alone, over time you will start to feel better.

[ThomasOCD]

@PolarBearRight now I’m in ambulance waiting to see a specialist.

[PolarBear]

Sorry to hear thst, Thomas. Take care of yourself. 

[ThomasOCD]

@PolarBearI live in Poland now so I was lucky, I have been given good medications that took my depression and anxiety away and made me understand a lot what’s going on with me. 

[Tamagochi]

I am sorry to read that you were in ambulance.

Amyway, everything is happening because of all your checks and all your rumination about what you felt and what you thought.
You keep making compulsions trying to analyse every single thought and feeling. 
But the thoughts/images and body feelings are created by YOU because your attention is set in your genital area and your brain build them up. It is called “psychosomatic” reaction. Groinal responses are a “psychosomatic” reaction.