What a week

[Madchoc]

Hi everyone, I know I’m probably not the only one to have the week from hell, but,, I really feel on my own I think everyone is fed up with my OCD, I’ve been hyper sensitive to everything. Tonight my husband cooked himself fishfingers, for his tea, I came to bed early with a bad headache, and now I am terrified of him coming near the bed and the pillow next to me. I do admit I have asked him to change his top just in case my fears come true and the fishfingers  could have touched his top when cooking or eating them. I know this sounds stupid, but I can’t stop worrying. I just feel so vulnerable, I know my husband is fed up of me, because sometimes he gets frustrated and sort of taunts me about my fears. Yet other times he’s very  kind. My mum always listened to me, but since her Alzheimer’s diagnosis she can’t take everything in the same, she’s always been my rock and now I feel so lost .Thanks for reading this Take care and stay safe everyone. Xx

[PolarBear]

So, what are you going to do?

Fish fingers aren't the problem.

[Madchoc]

Hi I know it’s me, that’s the problem. but this doesn’t make me feel any better. X

[PolarBear]

Look, you have to start doing things differently. You have to start looking at the thoughts in a different light.

You asked him to change his top. You likely ruminated like crazy. Did doing those things make you feel better? Is your situation better now that you did those compulsions?

I know what the answers are but I want you to be brutally honest with yourself.

 

[Madchoc]

Hi PB, thanks for your reply, no I didn’t feel any better , I just went slap bang into panic mode. My confidence has just gone, I know I have to be stronger,I’m letting OCD take over, . Take care x

[malina]

Hi @Madchoc,

I think what you're hoping for is a way to feel better right now (because who wouldn't want to feel okay?) but I think you need to be prepared to feel some discomfort in order to get better.

Wanting your husband to change his top after eating fish fingers isn't rational at all, you are letting the OCD completely overtake your life and you have to do something to change this. You seem like a really lovely person and I feel bad seeing you in such a bad place. I think you have to start facing your fears, it'll be awful at first but nothing bad is going to happen. The worst thing that could happen is that you don't do anything, continue like this and let the OCD get worse.

[PolarBear]

Madchoc, so you know that compulsions don't work and don't make you feel better. They actually prolong your suffering, causing more obsessions, doubt and anxiety in the future.

So what if next time, when you get a thought and feel that jolt of panic, you took a step back, realized it's just OCD up to it's nasty tricks, and made a conscious decision not to do compulsions?

Yes, you will get anxious. But you were going to get anxious even after doing compulsions. If you then refocus your mind onto something else and just leave the thought alone, the anxiety will begin to dissipate.

It takes practice. I will tell you that the first time it works, it feels so powerful! It's because doing nothing takes the power away from OCD and gives it to you.

[Madchoc]

Thank you everyone for  your replies, I appreciate it very much. Xx

Edited December 5, 2021 by Madchoc