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Hello Everyone

Hope you are all well and staying safe. Could I please have a moment of your time to introduce myself. A Capricorn free in sprit, but a slave to OCD. I have been a sufferer from some of my first memories until I close my eyes on a night and even then, subconsciously it haunts me in rest.

It’s been quite a while since my last post on OCD UK forum in fact one post in 2007 and one post again in 2010. So, what’s changed in my OCD condition. Well, absolutely nothing. I still struggle to hold down a job but currently in employment, don’t know how. Still driving my partner to despair, don’t even know how she copes sometimes. Still ritualising trying to launder my very existence at the expense of my very sole. Depressing isn’t, but hey, that’s OCD; and I don’t have to tell you that.

Okay so what have I learnt over the years? and what suggestions could I give to help my fellow suffers?

Firstly, accept OCD for what it is. You are not crazy, you are not ill, you are not less of a person than anyone else, in fact reach says that people with OCD have an above average intelligence level.

Secondly choose your OCD fights carefully. Don’t put all your time and energy into futile battle you can’t win, it will leave you fatigued mentally and physically, and that will only result in anxiety, depression and self-esteem will collapse.

Thirdly seek out a purpose in life, focus on what matters most to you. I personal don’t think there is a cure for OCD, you may recover but closure still holds a big question mark for me. Thank the lord for OCD UK it may not be a cure, but it certainly eases the symptoms.

I do have many years’ experience in OCD. I am not clinician, psychiatrist, or therapist so I can not offer advice. But I can be a friend.

Stay strong, stay well, stay safe. God bless you.

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Hi oldhedgey,

On 06/12/2021 at 10:29, oldhedgey said:

seek out a purpose in life, focus on what matters most to you.

:yes: Excellent life advice, whether a person has OCD or not.

Also good news that you're holding down a job and keeping your relationship going in spite of your OCD. :57439eb60db27_thumbup:

But you seem resigned to living with your rituals rather than trying to overcome them. Any reason(s) for that? :unsure:  It's a very sad place to be to have - in effect- given up. :( Could the good people of the forum be the friends you need to reignite your desire for freedom over slavery and help you find a way forward?

What do you think is keeping you stuck? What makes some battles feel you can't win them? What do you thin k needs to change to get you to the next level of recovery?

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snowbear 

Absolutely great to hear from you hope your well. yes a kind of a mixed message post some positive some not so positive. But I think in life, and sad to say you need both, just because you need something to measure against and set new goals or boundaries. My rituals are so strong that not even CBT came close. My psychiatrist raised my Fluoxetine 80mg very high I have been told? this was a 5 year process not even leaving my home except for appointments, or needs. Anyway that's in the past. So how did I create a balance of mind. Brief walks to the park with my grandson and a boxer dog the never judged me, constantly laying out side of my bedroom door and an old guitar that I learnt to play in my bedroom and  then I found found myself writing my own songs. I'm not saying the professional help did not help as everyone around me could see it did. its just that I didn't.

So I come to the concussion that at my age that collaboration with the enemy OCD might give me a balance or a different approach to this condition kind of like an experiment that might have a different outcome. lord knows, I 'am aware OCD does not take prisoners it is cruel and relentless I can truly feel the pain of others even my grandson now. You are correct if you don't implement change then nothing ever will change. I really could not tell you my next level but always open to suggestions that's what makes us stronger than the OCD.

God Bless Snowbear

Keep up your great work for us                

 

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11 hours ago, oldhedgey said:

My rituals are so strong that not even CBT came close.

I get where you're coming from with this statement, but here's the thing...

CBT is about looking at the way you think and how your thinking shapes your feelings and behaviours.

So the obvious question to ask next is, 'What are you thinking that makes your rituals so deeply entrenched and difficult to overcome?'

Or to put it another way, What meaning are you giving to doing what your OCD demands? (What do you tell yourself would happen if you didn't do the rituals?)

When rituals are deeply entrenched all that means is you've placed a very high value on the meaning you give them.

How we think about things affects the value we place on them. By reviewing how you look at the world, whether that's realistic or not, what alternative views are available to you and how adopting one of those views would change the value (meaning) you place on the rituals you can make it easier to stop doing them. That's the cognitive part of CBT. :)

In my opinion/ experience, if you get the cognitive part right the behavioural part is a relative breeze! You're ready, willing and able to give up the rituals because they no longer hold the same meaning/ value for you.

Attempting ERP (behavioural change) without changing the value you put on your OCD is akin to putting the cart before the horse and is the main reason why people claim 'I tried it, but CBT didn't work for me.'

 

11 hours ago, oldhedgey said:

So I come to the concussion that at my age that collaboration with the enemy OCD might give me a balance or a different approach to this condition kind of like an experiment that might have a different outcome.

 

Taking a different approach and experimenting with different outcomes is the very definition of CBT!   :yes:

My suggestion is to try another round of CBT and focus on the cognitive part to start. Remember, age is no barrier. Indeed the wisdom that comes with age and experience can make the CBT easier. :)

 

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Hi Swowbear 

Thank you for you time and advice Snowbear. Yes you could be right perhaps another round of CBT might I will have to consult with my GP because it's been the best part of 10 years since I had my session of CBT. I guess a lot has changed since then. I also agree age should not be a barrier, but its not really an age issue with me its my OCD reinforcement. This may sound really crazy but voice in my head predictions has come true on more than one occasion and sometime quite bizarrely, perhaps so unbelievably that I find it difficult to talk about. My OCD is exceptionally strong I really hate to admit this but its like my inner guardian, and there actually day I need it to guided me from my self. It has been said that perhaps,  I did not get the best consultation first time round that there was other mental issues that was not identified I don't really know. Hey but I do know this for fact the psychologist that treated me actually realest a patient back into society of been diagnosed as Safe, within hours she stabbed a child to death in a shopping centre. So sometimes I have to question the professions trust, are we really understood? or am I with the wrong people at the wrong time? Really difficult for me Snowbear I class myself as average intelligence but inconsistent probability seems my destiny. 

You are kind and thoughtful person with great advice

god bless you                      

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6 hours ago, oldhedgey said:

My OCD is exceptionally strong I really hate to admit this but its like my inner guardian, and there actually day I need it to guided me from my self.

My OCD started as a way to distance myself emotionally from my abusive parents. For decades I held onto it, telling myself it was like my inner guardian, keeping me safe, guiding me on who to trust etc.

But the truth is these are just explanations we give ourselves to make sense of why it's so hard to let the OCD go. Totally understandable, even logical in a way, but also totally wrong!

Trouble is the more we tell ourselves these explanations the more we believe they are true. Then you become fearful of challenging the belief and start behaving as if it was gospel truth instead of simply an interpretation your brain once made based on your understanding and thinking at the time.

 

6 hours ago, oldhedgey said:

Hey but I do know this for fact the psychologist that treated me actually realest a patient back into society of been diagnosed as Safe, within hours she stabbed a child to death in a shopping centre. So sometimes I have to question the professions trust, are we really understood? or am I with the wrong people at the wrong time?

So what? If I was an axe murderer I could easily convince a psychologist I was sane, get released and go about a killing spree. :devil2: Doesn't mean the psychologist was bad at their job, it means humans in general are good at deceiving each other when it suits them. (Reference how we deceive ourselves when it suits us as I outlined above!)

Human brains are designed to work out how everything that happens around them connects with everything else. We're programmed to always ask, 'How does this relate to me? What does it mean for me?'

Lots and lots of things happen around us which have absolutely no connection to us, no personal meaning. When we lose sight of the fact and start creating connections that don't exist it's easy to come up with crazy, illogical ideas such as 'It was my psychologist that happened to so it must saying something about me. (Faulty reasoning.)

Faulty conclusion: Maybe I'm with the wrong people at the wrong time. :no: Nope. Just two unconnected random events!

The more improbable things are the more we resort to magical thinking. Magical thinking allows us to believe the highly improbable over 'there's no connection', giving us the comfort of having an explanation, however unlikely, however wrong.

OCD is all about making false interpretations and then behaving as if the interpretation you made was true.

When you unravel where your thinking went wrong (the interpretation) you can begin to change the way you behave (give up the rituals and fears.)

So any time you find yourself thinking, 'I can't do that because...' or 'I struggle to give up my OCD because...' chances are the reasons you're giving yourself are based on this kind of faulty reasoning. It's often much easier for an outsider to see faulty interpretations, which feel so natural to us they can get overlooked. That's where a therapist can help, holding up a (metaphorical) mirror to the way you think and showing you where it might be going astray. :)

 

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Hi snowbear 

I really admire your philosophies and evaluation but sorry I don't agree with you on this one.  

"So what? If I was an axe murderer I could easily convince a psychologist I was sane, get released and go about a killing spree.  Doesn't mean the psychologist was bad at their job, it means humans in general are good at deceiving each other when it suits them. (Reference how we deceive ourselves when it suits us as I outlined above!)"

it's not ethical to say; so what to a child's death or axe murders. In life everyone is accountable for there action and a part we all play in it. I'm not quite so sure a grieving parent would see this from your point of view, I know I wouldn't. 

I was not trying to pin a label on anyone or even blame just that if you went under a surgeons knife and they removed a kidney in mistake how would you feel? I'm sure you would go for medical negligence and expect severe disciplinary.  

Sadly I was not given the option of my Psychiatrist or his credentials or consultation, I was just sent  I was not aware of what happened at this time other wise I would not have seen him. I don't hate or dislike him in fact he has a mention in my the children's book I wrote (OCD Awareness) at the time. Ironic that I write a children's story book with his praises not knowing what happened. Now that's crazy it make me personal feel quite sad.

Snowbear I really do think you are a good kind person but I don't think this forum is for me. To be honest I don't really want to change how I think or even the suffering of my OCD I have made piece with it I accept the very little it has to offer because I know as a person I can offer more.  I was looking for something creative and different on the forum not the past, moving forward away from clinical philosophy.

Snowbear

Stay Strong 

Stay Well

Stay Safe

God bless you Tony    

 

   

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2 hours ago, oldhedgey said:

it's not ethical to say; so what to a child's death or axe murders.

:ohmy: That wasn't what I meant at all, oldhedgey. The 'so what' related to the psychologist not being at fault rather than condoning murder. This is how misunderstandings happen, to me it is so obvious nobody condones murder that it went without saying. Clearly not. I'm sorry for confusing you.

2 hours ago, oldhedgey said:

To be honest I don't really want to change how I think or even the suffering of my OCD I have made piece with it

That's your choice and I respect your right to make it. :) We're not here to force people to change, just to help them see change is always possible and show them the path to recovery.

I hope you won't abandon the forum because I'm sometimes bad at explaining things. You'll always be welcome to contribute and share your opinions along with the rest of us.

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