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Just had a anexity attack badly over a worry


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I’ll be starting my meds again next week but now I’m obsessing and badly obsessing over because I am hoping to get more overtime from work and I have enough this week but going forward im hoping to get more as I got a nice pay increase in 2022, trying to rebuild myself after the “friend” stole $40,000.00 from me and my former gambling issue and I just am freaking out mentally so much because I texted my scheduling manager just 3 times, and he didn’t answer like he’s usually does. So now I’m on a tail spin and I’m thinking I’ll never get any overtime ever again at all and especially after texting 3 times from 10 am to 3 pm. I can’t take my life and nobody I know is answering my texts 

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You have overtime this week which is positive. I would not see your managers delay in response as any reflection on your work or the amount of overtime you will be offered. With Christmas coming peoples priorities are not the same. 
overthinking and obsessing is what the OCD is wanting.

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I do agree im good with overtime for a bit but thinking ahead and doing my budgeting calculations I really feel I can use this overtime with my pay raise because if not I’ll get just $5-7k in a year but with this, solidly like $14-16k or more minimum. I do have to realize they aren’t gonna stop doing it and nor would a couple texts to a manager, it’s just hard for me to currently accept that I’m fine 

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Oh I’m so sorry I can hear the pain in your message, you’ll be okay I promise, i find managers in general tend take absolutely ages to reply anyway - especially at Xmas time when they have so much going on to juggle. It’s a good step you’ll be starting your meds soon as this will help with some of the symptoms of the ocd your experiencing, the money will come back but first you should look after yourself as i overworked myself in my old job which lead to extreme stress and my OCD spiraling again, please be sure to look after your mental health first then everything will fall into place slowly after. Keep being brave and strong, remember to call helplines like Samaritan’s if you are feeling helpless as this is an awful feeling in itself especially when you have other things going on, keep talking and getting things off your chest, where here to listen :) 

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I just think I’m seriously over reacting because they usually write up schedules a week ahead of time. The scheduling manager previously told me that in other old weeks it’s usually more open by the end of the week. And they always have tons of hours at different posts in security. My job is easy it’s simple and working 55-65 hours a week isn’t too much burden especially when spaced out on the schedule, though I do have to relax. There’s no evidence to show that the managers won’t give me overtime over one day of hot answering, nor are they so annoyed of my texting a couple times that they won’t give me overtime anymore at all.

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Just now, someone told me texting him those couple times may not make him want to do anything for me anymore and I’m all nervous that it’s a fact. And I’m trying to just look at my own reassurance why that isn’t true  

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KC, lots and lots of ruminating going on here again.

You've allowed yourself to get caught up in circles of thoughts about money, the past, the present, work, how it all fits together...

What about taking your mind off it. Let the doubt just be there for a while instead of trying to reassure yourself or get resolution before work tomorrow.

Tomorrow you can ask what overtime is available and clear it up without needing to do any of this worrying, ruminating and reassuring.

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I think I’m best off waiting till Thursday personally. I’m gonna try to just wait it out then by Thursday afternoon text and maybe say that “I got carried away earlier this week, I understand you can’t put the schedules in to far ahead of time” and leave it at that. I don’t see him being angry at me for the texting 3 times in a day plus time span right now 

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I made my appointment for my meds tomorrow 2 Pm. So I’ll be back on them by Thursday. Also I came to a realistic conclusion that so what if I don’t get much overtime. I’ll stlll have like $7000-9000 in net worth maybe more already anyway. It’s less but it isn’t a destructive lifestyle 

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