A form of COVID contamination fear not previously mentioned

[agreatsummer]

Having spent the past couple of days almost all in my flat, my level of anxiety has declined overall. Life had been difficult for me over a week ago when my unwillingness to go out and fetch my parcel of OCD medication (because of fears of contamination in the communal area of the building) eventually led to terrible withdrawl symptoms. I started to feel dizzy and sick, as if I was having a flu without a fever or respiratory symptoms, so now I was literally largely unable to go outside even if I wanted to. You see, that is actually one of the very tricky things about OCD - the problem itself can sometimes prevent you from getting what you need to mitigate it. Fortunately enough though, I succeeded in reaching one of my peers in an adjacent building who went to the delivery office to collect the parcel on my behalf. I took the medication and things improved within hours. Life has been generally fine since then. I ordered a groceries delivery and collected it last Wednesday evening. I have tried confronting some relatively acceptable fears to a certain extent and found that it was not as horrible as I might have expected, although I still needed to carry out some compulsions.

I feel that another form of my contamination fears that remains unaddressed is that regarding phlegm or spit. For example, when I went downstairs to collect my grocery delivery again yesterday, I happened to see 2 people coming out of my building after I had crossed the road, and one of them spitted to one side of the main entrance right after he was outside. That aroused quite some fears in me, because I was very afraid that I could step on the spit or come into contact with it in some other way as I went back in through this only path. I deeply dreaded getting someone's sputum onto my shoe bottoms or other things and transferring coronavirus into my flat and then potentially spreading it onto other objects. So I tried to be very careful when I passed that part of my way, staying away from the door as I approached the other side of the main door that the person had not spitted toward. Luckily enough, I was able to return home not feeling really contaminated, although there are still voices popping out in my brain like, "Are you sure you did not tread upon any of the sputum?" "Could the spit have got onto the main door as well?" "Are the wheels and carrier bag of my trolley really safe from contamination?". I can largely sit with those thoughts, but a big problem for me is that I now feel trouble going outside of the building again, e.g. to dump trash or to collect another delivery.

Such sputum fears have also troubled me a few time before, like coming across a person who happened to spit in front of me, or accidentally walking through an area near a contruction site where the workers (probably) had left a lot of marks from spitting on the ground. The results were that I had to throw my old shoes away and buy in a new pair. I do not seem to be able to tell the boundary between what is enough and what is not for such matters. I searched online and most doctors say the possibility of contracting the coronavirus through stepping on someone's phlegm is quite low, but I would remain trapped in the feeling of disgust that I could have those mucus on the shoes, potentially with the virus, and bring that along spreading it everywhere I went, especially within my own residence. Does anybody have any idea or opinion as to how to handle such situations?

Edited December 28, 2021 by agreatsummer

[Angst]

Supermarket deliveries do not always go according to plan. Today I had one, but because of a smashed bottle of whisky drenching one grate containing a bag of flour the food stuffs were in a very sticky state: the mixture coated nuts, bread. cauliflower, carrots, wine, and smashed eggs. The packing care has got worse over the months. I have just received notification of a refund of the damaged items by email.

I think you have identified your problem when you say the objective risk is low of spit but you would remain trapped in ‘feelings of disgust’. Feelings are not an objective measure of risk. COVID has heightened your feelings of risk and disgust. You need to work on your feelings of disgust. I live in a city where the infection rate is 1 in 1O according to the most recent figure from a few days ago. At the moment I have personal care and 60% of the care workers are off with COVID in the company that provides care.  The footfall with the Boxing Day sales is down by over 60%. So you are not the only one calculating risk but the disgust feature is I think distinctly OCD. Good that the return to medication has helped.
 

 

 

Edited December 28, 2021 by Angst

[Dakagraphics-David]

Hi, this phenomenon of thought, is described as 'Catastrophisation', a cognitive distortion, by a Doctor David Burns, in his brilliant book, 'Feeling good, the new mood therapy,. I actually gave my copy away... He goes on to explain how to deal with such thoughts. It was a great help to me, so the book got shared! It is available on Amazon. Thinking about it, I  intend to get another copy of it myself. For a really good CBT challenge,  buy a copy second hand... 

David

[Dakagraphics-David]

Go on, I dare you!  Minimising it... Are we at risk of ANY thing when kissing? I reckon it is a risk worth taking... If you can do it, then maybe I can too...

David 

[PolarBear]

OCD is overblowing the risk to you. There is no risk. The problem doesn't exist. You do not need to do anything to fix this. Go out! Live!

[agreatsummer]

9 hours ago, Angst said:

Supermarket deliveries do not always go according to plan. Today I had one, but because of a smashed bottle of whisky drenching one grate containing a bag of flour the food stuffs were in a very sticky state: the mixture coated nuts, bread. cauliflower, carrots, wine, and smashed eggs. The packing care has got worse over the months. I have just received notification of a refund of the damaged items by email.

I think you have identified your problem when you say the objective risk is low of spit but you would remain trapped in ‘feelings of disgust’. Feelings are not an objective measure of risk. COVID has heightened your feelings of risk and disgust. You need to work on your feelings of disgust. I live in a city where the infection rate is 1 in 1O according to the most recent figure from a few days ago. At the moment I have personal care and 60% of the care workers are off with COVID in the company that provides care.  The footfall with the Boxing Day sales is down by over 60%. So you are not the only one calculating risk but the disgust feature is I think distinctly OCD. Good that the return to medication has helped.
 

 

 

Thank you Angst.

It is definitely not a pleasant experience to have delivered items samshed or drenched. I had a somewhat similar situation where I purchased 2 large bags of frozen BBQ chicken wings and left them for a bit too long without putting them into the fridge. I had not expected that one of the packs was actually broken at an inconspicuous spot, and the marinade flowed out into my reusable IKEA carrier bag creating quite a mess. I had to dispose of the bag and change to a new one while obtaining a refund for the item afterwards. I assume one of the ways to prevent such things might be to add a little bit of thinking when placing the order, like avoid purchasing liquid items with fragile packaging and buying those in some other way, so that most of the other items you want are not impacted in case those are smashed.

I have tried watching some videos on OCD to reinforce my conception of the coping strategies, i.e. refraining as hard as possible from carrying out the compulsions and simply sitting with the anxiety while continuing with what I originally want to do. I have to say this is rather difficult for me, but I will try to implement that from smaller, relatively acceptable things onward first. I already had an assessment appointment back in November and there was a roughly 2-month wait until I could really start my first treatment session. I hope things will improve further with the guidance and support from the therapist.

Edited December 29, 2021 by agreatsummer

[agreatsummer]

1 hour ago, PolarBear said:

OCD is overblowing the risk to you. There is no risk. The problem doesn't exist. You do not need to do anything to fix this. Go out! Live!

Thank you PolarBear,

I think what you say is true, and otherwise I would not have sensed this feeling of contradiction inside of me that led me here to this forum to make this post instead of just insisting on the cleaning. I have tried watching some videos on OCD to reinforce my conception of the coping strategies, i.e. refraining as hard as possible from carrying out the compulsions and simply sitting with the anxiety while continuing with what I originally want to do. I have to say this is rather difficult for me, but I will try to implement that from smaller, relatively acceptable things onward first. I already had an assessment appointment back in November and there was a roughly 2-month wait until I could really start my first treatment session. I hope things will improve further with the guidance and support from the therapist.

[Angst]

You have already worked out a good strategy which is starting from more acceptable things to do - it’s called a hierarchy of exposure or some such name. Do you have a book to guide you? I found Overcoming OCD helpful as well as Break Free from OCD.  They cover the same ground but the former book contains more technical terms than the latter book. It is a matter of personal taste. Another good technique that I found helpful was postponement. I will check the front door in ten minutes…..

Have a good New Year.