Help with catastrophising

[GreenJet68]

Hi, this is my first post and I’m very nervous about it, please bear with. 
 

I was diagnosed with OCD 10 years ago. At the time I was given access to private therapy and had generally excellent treatment, to the point where for much of the decade previous I could for the most part manage my OCD. 
 

Now however, I’m really struggling. I have a good job yet feel so ashamed that I’m so childish financially. I keep thinking of all the things that could go wrong which rapidly becomes will go wrong. I think it’s OCD related where for example, if I get a thought my car will break that thought becomes a reality, so I compulsively check the engine bay or get underneath the car to check my suspension etc. However there’s things that I can’t control, like the health of my family (probably the most constant worry), or losing the lease on my rental while I can’t afford to move, and completely irrational things like becoming unemployed and bankrupt that make no sense and are extremely unlikely given what I do. I feel like I’m constantly walking a tightrope where on either side is a catastrophic failure. I feel like I’m letting everyone around me down with my past irresponsibility. I have found a very happy relationship lately and have benefited hugely from that, but it also exacerbates the feeling of not wanting to let anyone down.
 

Covid also takes its toll, as someone who suffers from Harm OCD, the thought of passing it onto someone vulnerable destroys me. It has also manifested itself in obsessively checking the news and losing myself in doom-scrolling for several hours a day.
 

Recently I keep waking up in the night in cold sweats/breathing really quickly and I’m absolutely exhausted. I can’t concentrate on TV shows or reading books which are my usual distraction techniques. Please can someone offer some advice? Thank you for reading. 

Edited January 1, 2022 by GreenJet68
Missed a bit out

[northpaul]

Hi GreenJet, sorry to hear about the difficulties you are experiencing.  I agree, making a first step to ask for help can can be a daunting experience.  However you have made a first step.  That is a good step.

Firstly, have you spoken to your GP?  When I was in a similar situation to yourself, speaking to my GP was a daunting step.  Once I had taken that step it started a long road towards recovery.

[GreenJet68]

7 minutes ago, northpaul said:

Hi GreenJet, sorry to hear about the difficulties you are experiencing.  I agree, making a first step to ask for help can can be a daunting experience.  However you have made a first step.  That is a good step.

Firstly, have you spoken to your GP?  When I was in a similar situation to yourself, speaking to my GP was a daunting step.  Once I had taken that step it started a long road towards recovery.

Thanks so much for replying. I’m really scared of going to the doctors. (TW) When I was first diagnosed I was first misdiagnosed, and it frightened the life out of me. Ever since then I’ve had a huge fear of doctors, dentists etc. and I’m not sure what to do about it. This then latched onto a fear of therapists after I read of one breaking patient confidentiality and a patient being locked up. It’s like I’ve created this wall around help. I created my OCDUK account months ago and haven’t posted anything, written things out a few times but didn’t click send for this reason. 

[malina]

Hi @GreenJet68,

wow I feel like I could have written your post! I can definitely relate to what you're feeling. I think it's great that you're aware of the fact that you're catastrophising, insight is really important because a part of you knows it's not realistic.

An approach that kind of works for me is to try and remind myself that, while I can't prepare for every eventuality, if something does come up, I'll deal with it then and there. You can't really prepare for everything because you don't know what resources you'll have to help you if a bad thing does occur. So just have faith that, should something happen, there will also be resources to manage it.

The other thing that I've been talking to my therapist about is that you know your biggest problem is OCD. Even though you think you are being responsible by preparing for all these catastrophic events, you're actually not because you're neglecting your mental health and allowing a disorder to dictate your life. So to be truly responsible, you have to work on letting go so that you can become healthier and better able mentally and emotionally to deal with anything that comes your way.

I hope that helps, easier said than done I know!

[GreenJet68]

1 hour ago, malina said:

Hi @GreenJet68,

wow I feel like I could have written your post! I can definitely relate to what you're feeling. I think it's great that you're aware of the fact that you're catastrophising, insight is really important because a part of you knows it's not realistic.

An approach that kind of works for me is to try and remind myself that, while I can't prepare for every eventuality, if something does come up, I'll deal with it then and there. You can't really prepare for everything because you don't know what resources you'll have to help you if a bad thing does occur. So just have faith that, should something happen, there will also be resources to manage it.

The other thing that I've been talking to my therapist about is that you know your biggest problem is OCD. Even though you think you are being responsible by preparing for all these catastrophic events, you're actually not because you're neglecting your mental health and allowing a disorder to dictate your life. So to be truly responsible, you have to work on letting go so that you can become healthier and better able mentally and emotionally to deal with anything that comes your way.

I hope that helps, easier said than done I know!

Thanks so much, I’m sad that you can relate so well but it is also a relief in a weird way. So do you tell yourself to stay in the moment? Is there a way to stop your mind wandering off too far into the future where it feels like everything will go wrong? 

[malina]

6 minutes ago, GreenJet68 said:

Thanks so much, I’m sad that you can relate so well but it is also a relief in a weird way. So do you tell yourself to stay in the moment? Is there a way to stop your mind wandering off too far into the future where it feels like everything will go wrong? 

Well one thing I learned in therapy was to imagine myself at a train station, each worry is an incoming train. So then I can acknowledge that the trains are there, but I don't need to get onto every train that comes in. Rather, I just let them come in and out of the station and stand my ground on the platform. I really like this mental imagery, it helps me. Otherwise, I usually just try to take a deep breath and refocus onto anything else.

[northpaul]

24 minutes ago, GreenJet68 said:

Is there a way to stop your mind wandering off too far into the future where it feels like everything will go wrong? 

 

15 minutes ago, malina said:

I just let them come in and out of the station and stand my ground on the platform

GreenJet and Malina, what would happen if you were to get on the train?  Would it take you to catastrophy, or might it take you to a better place?

[GreenJet68]

2 hours ago, malina said:

Hi @GreenJet68,

wow I feel like I could have written your post! I can definitely relate to what you're feeling. I think it's great that you're aware of the fact that you're catastrophising, insight is really important because a part of you knows it's not realistic.

An approach that kind of works for me is to try and remind myself that, while I can't prepare for every eventuality, if something does come up, I'll deal with it then and there. You can't really prepare for everything because you don't know what resources you'll have to help you if a bad thing does occur. So just have faith that, should something happen, there will also be resources to manage it.

The other thing that I've been talking to my therapist about is that you know your biggest problem is OCD. Even though you think you are being responsible by preparing for all these catastrophic events, you're actually not because you're neglecting your mental health and allowing a disorder to dictate your life. So to be truly responsible, you have to work on letting go so that you can become healthier and better able mentally and emotionally to deal with anything that comes your way.

I hope that helps, easier said than done I know!

That’s really nicely put, I think of a thing that can happen, then it feels like I’m falling, I start coughing, my breathing goes shallow and I feel sick. It’s like I’ve lost the ability to stay in the here and now, even while repeating to myself that in a day, a week, a month and even perhaps a year I can’t think of anything specific that will happen for definite. It’s like being clobbered out of nowhere. 

[GreenJet68]

9 minutes ago, northpaul said:

 

GreenJet and Malina, what would happen if you were to get on the train?  Would it take you to catastrophy, or might it take you to a better place?

I guess sometimes things do go better than expected but the idea of expecting the best case scenario seems so alien. How do you cope? 
 

I wasn’t expecting some help so quickly thank you both. It’s so nice to write down what I’m thinking/feeling.

[GreenJet68]

5th night in a row with a 3-4am panic attack. Does anyone have any advice as to what can be done? I’ve not had them at night like this before, it’s disorientating and hard to control.

[Dakagraphics-David]

I would always expect the worst outcome, so I could plan for it should it happen. The problem was, when it didn't happen, which was most of the time, I wouldn't notice the good times, because I was too busy planning for the 'next' disaster. Yes, things do go wrong sometimes, but in reality, much less frequently than the good times. In his book 'Feeling good, the new mood therapy', Dr David Burns has a whole section on 'Cognitive distortions', that is, thought distortions, of which Catastrophising is just one example.  I really wish I still had my copy, cos I used to refer to it often. He's a good teacher, and guides the reader into challenging the intrusive thoughts, rather than responding to them. 

David

[GreenJet68]

2 hours ago, Dakagraphics-David said:

I would always expect the worst outcome, so I could plan for it should it happen. The problem was, when it didn't happen, which was most of the time, I wouldn't notice the good times, because I was too busy planning for the 'next' disaster. Yes, things do go wrong sometimes, but in reality, much less frequently than the good times. In his book 'Feeling good, the new mood therapy', Dr David Burns has a whole section on 'Cognitive distortions', that is, thought distortions, of which Catastrophising is just one example.  I really wish I still had my copy, cos I used to refer to it often. He's a good teacher, and guides the reader into challenging the intrusive thoughts, rather than responding to them. 

David

Thank you I will have a look into Dr Burns’ work now. Can completely relate to planning for the worst case outcome all the time. 

[Dakagraphics-David]

Hi there, no problem. I've found that, as my mind is becoming less preoccupied by negative thoughts, I actually notice the nice things that are going on in the world around us. Actually enjoying the scenery on a ride out in the car, instead of forever looking beck, and wondering what if...  Okay, it's not happiness all of the time... But a heck of a lot more than in days gone by, and anyway, metaphorically speaking, we need to have rain, before seeing a colourful rainbow. 

David