Panic

[PolarBear]

Cora, as has been explained to you before, you need to stop trying to figure this stuff out and trying to understand. It's a compulsion and is only keeping you stuck.

I know you want to understand but what is it you want to understand? Deep down you want to know if you are bad, if what you are thinking and doing makes you a bad person. And that is your core obsession.

You need to leave it alone. Completely alone. No trying to work it out. No trying to understand. Just leave it alone.

And no buts.

[Cora]

I'm struggling today. 

I feel like I want to get up and do horrible things. I feel like I really want it to happen. And, of course, because of that I'm analysing my past actions and behavior. I keep asking myself questions about things that happened or things that probably happened. Last night I was convinced I sexually assaulted my boyfriend because sometimes I'm being way too affectionate with him. He never said anything but that doesn't mean I didn't assault him or make him uncomfortable. 

I feel awful. 

Edited January 25, 2022 by Cora

[PolarBear]

Can you see your compulsions in your post above?

[Cora]

21 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Can you see your compulsions in your post above?

Yes, polarbear, I think I can see them. 

Edited January 26, 2022 by Cora