Busy Fool Posted May 28, 2022 Share Posted May 28, 2022 2 hours ago, determination987 said: I’m poorly at the moment which makes it quite difficult to keep busy which means my mind has time to wander. I’m aware of this so I’ve been working hard to not get stuck on a ruminating mission and to keep as mindful as possible. This morning I found out that a big change had happened and no one had told me. I felt annoyed at first and then the what ifs came rolling and lots of catastrophic thoughts coming at me. I’m leaning into the uncertainty and realising that no amount of ruminating or checking will change anything and that I can concentrate on myself and not other people. Change is really difficult for me and I was dreading this change but in the grand scheme of things, I know that it’s not that important. No matter how much my mind wants me to believe it is. Well done Link to comment
taurean Posted May 28, 2022 Share Posted May 28, 2022 7 hours ago, determination987 said: I’m poorly at the moment which makes it quite difficult to keep busy which means my mind has time to wander. I’m aware of this so I’ve been working hard to not get stuck on a ruminating mission and to keep as mindful as possible. This morning I found out that a big change had happened and no one had told me. I felt annoyed at first and then the what ifs came rolling and lots of catastrophic thoughts coming at me. I’m leaning into the uncertainty and realising that no amount of ruminating or checking will change anything and that I can concentrate on myself and not other people. Change is really difficult for me and I was dreading this change but in the grand scheme of things, I know that it’s not that important. No matter how much my mind wants me to believe it is. You have come a long way on your journey; and its great to see you working out what's going on in your mind, attributing the obsessional thinking to OCD, and then not buying into it. The more you do this, the weaker it will become - that's the treasure at the end of the thinking and behavioural changes rainbow Link to comment
determination987 Posted May 28, 2022 Share Posted May 28, 2022 3 hours ago, taurean said: You have come a long way on your journey; and its great to see you working out what's going on in your mind, attributing the obsessional thinking to OCD, and then not buying into it. The more you do this, the weaker it will become - that's the treasure at the end of the thinking and behavioural changes rainbow Thanks Taurean. Your help has been so valuable. I find these threads really helpful because it reminds me that I CAN handle it, even when it feels like I can’t. Lots of triggers recently and I’m learning to observe the thoughts rather than reacting to them. Lots of rumination starting but I’m cutting that down massively and keeping to shifting my mind to the present moment. Link to comment
Ma29 Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 Pleased to see everyone’s achievements here, this thread is a great reminder to all of us that we can overcome this beast called ocd. I think of this forum every single day - mostly hoping everyone is okay and also thankful for the support I’ve received here. I try purposely not to visit the forum on the bad days as I know I’ll be using it for one thing only which won’t be helpful to me at all. I have been busy with my baby, the ocd is still very much active but I haven’t stopped caring for my baby and do everything in terms of care for him now. I have support from my wonderful husband and mum but not like I did a couple of months ago - my mum would be taking care of my baby 9-5pm with my husband taking over at 5pm. I’m now able to get up in the mornings and not dial my mums number as soon as my eyes open, begging her to come over and help me - instead I’m able to get up, pick my boy up from his cot, bath him, feed him some weetabix and get on with the day - albeit the thoughts are there and intense as ever. I’ve described them like a broken cassette player, when you press the forward button and it gets stuck and keeps making that awful noise - that noise is like the ocd thoughts - I hate it and it’s incredibly tough but I try to remember the advice many wonderful people on this forum have given me. One particular line I remind myself of is ‘you must sit with the uncomfortable feelings / anxiety and ride it out ‘. I try and do just that. It’s tough so tough. I’m trying to just trust the process. Link to comment
snowbear Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 44 minutes ago, Ma29 said: Pleased to see everyone’s achievements here, this thread is a great reminder to all of us that we can overcome this beast called ocd. I think of this forum every single day - mostly hoping everyone is okay and also thankful for the support I’ve received here. I try purposely not to visit the forum on the bad days as I know I’ll be using it for one thing only which won’t be helpful to me at all. I have been busy with my baby, the ocd is still very much active but I haven’t stopped caring for my baby and do everything in terms of care for him now. I have support from my wonderful husband and mum but not like I did a couple of months ago - my mum would be taking care of my baby 9-5pm with my husband taking over at 5pm. I’m now able to get up in the mornings and not dial my mums number as soon as my eyes open, begging her to come over and help me - instead I’m able to get up, pick my boy up from his cot, bath him, feed him some weetabix and get on with the day - albeit the thoughts are there and intense as ever. I’ve described them like a broken cassette player, when you press the forward button and it gets stuck and keeps making that awful noise - that noise is like the ocd thoughts - I hate it and it’s incredibly tough but I try to remember the advice many wonderful people on this forum have given me. One particular line I remind myself of is ‘you must sit with the uncomfortable feelings / anxiety and ride it out ‘. I try and do just that. It’s tough so tough. I’m trying to just trust the process. Way to go, Ma! Well done you! Link to comment
taurean Posted May 30, 2022 Share Posted May 30, 2022 Ma, well done you. Still a way to go, yes but you have come so far, learned so much. I have experienced that stuck loop of thoughts and it would go on and on, even when I slept. But I don't get it now so I know it can be beaten. The first and most important thing is just what you are doing and that you know the thoughts are just thoughts and not to believe or connect with them. I feel pleased for you but also for your Mum and hubbie, who will be so happy that you are moving forward. Link to comment
northpaul Posted May 30, 2022 Share Posted May 30, 2022 Had an outbreak of 'what ifs' this morning while having a tidy up in my home. I had identified several things that were either broken or had not been used for at least a year or sometimes much longer. Brain chip 'A' said 'but what if you need these things sometime in the future'? Brain chip 'B' said 'remember that bit in your therapy notes about procrastination'? I ran with brain chip 'B' and all the clutter is now in a black bin bag. Had a nice lunch and the thought that I might need those things has gone. Good result for therapy. Link to comment
taurean Posted May 30, 2022 Share Posted May 30, 2022 2 hours ago, northpaul said: Good result for therapy. Brilliant. Therapy can only work if we do what we learn, so much credit to you too Link to comment
L.M. Posted May 30, 2022 Share Posted May 30, 2022 @Ma29 You are really such an inspiration! Good for you for all the work you have done. @northpaul Awesome! Must be nice to achieve a nice clean clutter-free place as a result of following through with advice you got through therapy! Link to comment
taurean Posted May 30, 2022 Share Posted May 30, 2022 Make no mistake, there really are some BIG achievements underway here. And people have made significant strides forward, both in understanding, then in thinking and behavioural changes. It's lovely to read this thread, it's really making a difference to a number of people. Link to comment
Ma29 Posted May 30, 2022 Share Posted May 30, 2022 Thanks everyone - I appreciate your ongoing support and kind words Link to comment
Caramoole Posted May 30, 2022 Author Share Posted May 30, 2022 @Ma29 Well Done You...very proud of you. You've come such a long way and trust me, you'll go further....much further. Stick with it, you're learning. I've had some major things going on in my life recently (none OCD) so haven't been around as much but am utterly delighted with all your achievements on this thread. It's amazing what can be achieved but we don't always acknowledge them as we should.......Soooo......big to all of you Link to comment
determination987 Posted May 31, 2022 Share Posted May 31, 2022 I love this thread Amazing @Ma29 and @northpaul I'm feeling much more confident in stopping compulsions at the moment and truly realising just how pointless and agonising they are. I'm still learning about the way obsessions creep up on me and watching out for the avoidance compulsions but I feel like I'm getting somewhere. I feel like over the last week, despite being sick, I've managed to gain some control back over my life. I've just been on a checking mission after getting triggered and it felt like a real threat. The checks felt so automatic at first but I've managed to stop myself and realised that it's not doing me any good apart from adding more fuel to the fire. This is happening a lot. I get triggered and I'm starting to observe what my mind wants me to do rather than just doing it. Sometimes I'm caught out like now but I was able to stop it taking over my entire evening so that feels like a win. I can see now that I'll never be 'perfect' at handling the OCD but reminding myself that I can handle difficult things as and if they happen, is helping enormously. I can live with the uncertainty and I don't need to know everything (as much as I'd like to). Link to comment
Ma29 Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 On 31/05/2022 at 00:37, Caramoole said: @Ma29 Well Done You...very proud of you. You've come such a long way and trust me, you'll go further....much further. Stick with it, you're learning. I've had some major things going on in my life recently (none OCD) so haven't been around as much but am utterly delighted with all your achievements on this thread. It's amazing what can be achieved but we don't always acknowledge them as we should.......Soooo......big to all of you @Caramoole I hope everything is okay with you - I did notice you haven’t been around as much but hoped you were well. I guess I’m learning to recognise what is ocd.. it’s really tough because at times it can be really convincing and scary.. I have tried my very best not to come on the forum for re assurance and to dismiss everything as ocd nonsense - I hope I’m doing the right thing. You mentioned you’re proud of how far I’ve come… this wouldn’t have been possible without the support I have received from you and many others on this forum. The support I have received here in all the dark times is what got me to this day now - I am fearful to think what I would have done without the support from my forum friends - I will be forever grateful. Link to comment
Ma29 Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 On 31/05/2022 at 21:15, determination987 said: I'm still learning about the way obsessions creep up on me and watching out for the avoidance compulsions but I feel like I'm getting somewhere. I feel like over the last week, despite being sick, I've managed to gain some control back over my life. I’m really glad you are making progress. I too am still learning to recognise how obsessions can sneakily make an appearance but I feel like I’m getting better at it.. It helps me dismiss the thoughts rather than ruminate over them.. well done for managing the ocd whilst you’ve been sick ( I can appreciate that’s not an easy thing to do)! Link to comment
determination987 Posted June 8, 2022 Share Posted June 8, 2022 15 hours ago, Ma29 said: I’m really glad you are making progress. I too am still learning to recognise how obsessions can sneakily make an appearance but I feel like I’m getting better at it.. It helps me dismiss the thoughts rather than ruminate over them.. well done for managing the ocd whilst you’ve been sick ( I can appreciate that’s not an easy thing to do)! Thanks Ma It’s great to hear your progress too! Link to comment
northpaul Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 On 30/05/2022 at 14:41, northpaul said: Brain chip 'B' said 'remember that bit in your therapy notes about procrastination'? I ran with brain chip 'B' and all the clutter is now in a black bin bag. .....11 days later...... Another victory against procrastination and another bin bag full of junk gone. I actually enjoyed it today! Link to comment
determination987 Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 1 minute ago, northpaul said: .....11 days later...... Another victory against procrastination and another bin bag full of junk gone. I actually enjoyed it today! That’s great . You’ve inspired me. I quite enjoy getting rid of things but papers tend to have me checking a lot or avoiding for triggers. I might have to get out my piles of it in the loft to sort! Link to comment
determination987 Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 I feel like I’m making some real progress with OCD at the moment. I’m feeling stronger in my approaches when I’m triggered and I’m able to bring myself back to the present so much easier now. The intrusive thoughts still hit me a lot but I can see them for what they are. I still get that anxious feeling a lot but I’m learning to just go with it rather than desperately trying to get rid of it. I’ve been able to enjoy more of my days and I’m able to take a step back when overwhelmed and I’m making some progress with rumination. I can see clearly that it gets me nowhere other than utter despair and I’m not buying into it anymore (I know I will at some point but feeling strong against it today). I also saw my friend a few more times after feeling like I needed to avoid people and that felt really good. I forgot that I enjoy company and I’m no longer using people as reassurance! Link to comment
Busy Fool Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 10 minutes ago, determination987 said: I feel like I’m making some real progress with OCD at the moment. I’m feeling stronger in my approaches when I’m triggered and I’m able to bring myself back to the present so much easier now. The intrusive thoughts still hit me a lot but I can see them for what they are. I still get that anxious feeling a lot but I’m learning to just go with it rather than desperately trying to get rid of it. I’ve been able to enjoy more of my days and I’m able to take a step back when overwhelmed and I’m making some progress with rumination. I can see clearly that it gets me nowhere other than utter despair and I’m not buying into it anymore (I know I will at some point but feeling strong against it today). I also saw my friend a few more times after feeling like I needed to avoid people and that felt really good. I forgot that I enjoy company and I’m no longer using people as reassurance! That's great, well done Link to comment
northpaul Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 3 minutes ago, determination987 said: but papers tend to have me checking a lot Have you got a shredder? In terms of needing to keep checking paperwork I find that the shredder helps me. Once I have decided something can be shredded - not keep checking and straight in the shredder. If I get anxious about what I have just done then that is when I practise my therapy and let the thought subside. 6 minutes ago, determination987 said: I feel like I’m making some real progress with OCD at the moment. That is good to hear. Link to comment
determination987 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 12 hours ago, northpaul said: Have you got a shredder? In terms of needing to keep checking paperwork I find that the shredder helps me. Once I have decided something can be shredded - not keep checking and straight in the shredder. If I get anxious about what I have just done then that is when I practise my therapy and let the thought subside. That is good to hear. Thanks No shredder but I may have to purchase one. I always keep everything ‘just in case’ so definitely one to work on next! Link to comment
determination987 Posted June 16, 2022 Share Posted June 16, 2022 I think that it’s easy when stuck in the despair of OCD to not count those achievements and on the flip side when doing better, it can feel like we’re not making any more progress but we are. Achievements this week: - accepting uncertainty about an event at the weekend. I had initial ruminating about saying the wrong thing and dreading the event this weekend. After realising that I was doing this compulsively, I decided to let the thoughts be and accept that I was feeling anxious about it and it didn’t matter whether I did or didn’t. I’m not going to let it ruin my entire week over a possibility. If something bad happens as a result, I’ll deal with it then and trust that I can handle it and trust in my own judgement and mistakes. - tried out bowling for the first time in many years. - practiced cooking mindfully and tried out new recipes - reduced checking emails and social media How is everyone else getting on? Link to comment
determination987 Posted June 20, 2022 Share Posted June 20, 2022 I just accepted an invitation to something that I would usually avoid. It’s not for a few months and I’m anxious but know it would be good for me. Instead of immediately being desperate to rid myself of anxiety and danger, I’m noting the anxiety instead. I’m noticing that this makes me anxious as it’s out of my comfort zone and potentially triggering but I can handle what comes and cannot predict or prepare for things that haven’t in fact happened. I am going to allow myself a bit of anxiety but then continue with my day and think of the fact that I accepted it, rather than coming up with excuses as a positive step in recovering. I am also going to be mindful of my responses to intrusive thoughts connected to it over the next few months. Link to comment
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