Achievements Thread - Pat on The Back

[taurean]

56 minutes ago, Ma29 said:

It felt odd for me but it also felt good as I used to enjoy looking good - who doesn’t. Yes he was and he acknowledged that I was doing well every stew hours today which was nice to hear as I felt supported ect - he’s been incredibly supportive during the last 10 weeks - I feel very grateful to have him. 

I have found dressing well, spritzing some male perfume and wearing some male jewellery to be a big morale-booster. Had on some Chanel "Bleu" today which is a wonderful fragrance and made me feel terrific

Many of us are so fortunate to have partners/spouses who understand what we are going through and why,  and support us without aiding the OCD.

They are the salt of the earth, and we are so so fortunate. 

 

[taurean]

Hobbies really can be such an involved beneficisl distraction that we get totally immersed in them and it breaks the connection to the OCD.

I  am actively currently seeking out some locations, subjects, and compositions with a view to entering my camera club's competitions.

I have been so involved in this project, the driving to the locations, seeking views, setting up my equipment, and trying different settings and effects, that it has been impossible for me to get distracted by anything else- it's been truly a brilliant, really happy, time.

We all have hobbies or interests to which we can devote a little time.

So when you next plan to do that, look to do it with all your focus, really get stuck into  and excited by, a project, however small.

You will likely be very amazed at the result.

Edited January 28, 2022 by taurean

[ecomum]

Yestrtday,I was finding it hard to stop ruminating.so I said I'm just going to get on with my day and if I need to ,I'll allow myself half an hour this evening  to go over it. And because I got busy when the evening came the trigger had passed.

I think knowing I would be able to ruminate later freed me from doing it, but the distraction removed the trigger. Will be using this method from now on.

[BelAnna]

On 23/01/2022 at 01:23, BelAnna said:

I coped quite well with various contamination triggers when looking after my toddler niece and nephew today- things like backs of shoes being handled by family members (which usually triggers compulsions), walking along a busy path, not stressing out too much about food being dropped on the floor and then eaten (obviously I tried to grab it before it could be but it was tricky!) and handling toys that had been sitting on the floor (I usually wear gloves to lift anything from the floor). 

I'm worried about jinxing things by focusing on positives but I guess that's my OCD speaking!

I managed to keep this up again this week. I have also walked on a couple of pavements as ERP (I tend to walk on quiet roads to avoid walking in dog faeces and vomit). I went to a cafe for the first time in quite a long time a couple of weeks ago but need to repeat that next week too. 

[Caramoole]

I'm pleased it worked for you Ecomum.  Setting aside Worry Time is a recognised method in therapy, it can be a useful tool for rumination and as you found, once the moment passes the urgency can recede.  Let us know how it goes

[Caramoole]

1 minute ago, BelAnna said:

I managed to keep this up again this week. I have also walked on a couple of pavements as ERP (I tend to walk on quiet roads to avoid walking in dog faeces and vomit). I went to a cafe for the first time in quite a long time a couple of weeks ago but need to repeat that next week too. 

These sound like good achievements.  Has the complete change of lifestyle and being close to family been a help do you think?  That and having being so worried in the run up and now the pressure has eased.  See if you can pencil in that trip to the cafe again this week and I look forward to seeing you back here to report

[Ma29]

Today was harder than yesterday - more intrusive thoughts, some easier to dismiss than others ..

 I managed to visit my mother in law for the first time since November last year (first win). I was surround by my husbands nephews and nieces so my anxiety was high but I made it through the day without avoiding any child that came near me (second win). I rocked the baby to sleep (third win but the most important one to me). 

[taurean]

Well done. Remember,  those intrusive thoughts are not factual, they are just the stuff of OCD, worthless mental chaff.

You don't have to respond to them. That can make them stronger.

You can simply be dismissive " oh, it's just that OCD thought again", and gently ease your focus away and back where you want it to be.

When you get to be good at that, you will notice the power and frequency of the intrusions diminish. The OCD needs to be believed, and when that doesn't happen it loses  strength.

Edited January 29, 2022 by taurean

[Caramoole]

Well Done Ma.  You've done brilliant this week, really, really well.  When the going gets tough (and it more than likely will)  log back in here and find strength to get through those tough patches.  Wishing you well for another good week next week

[determination987]

I managed to turn today around and worked on being more present which helped. The panic I had earlier subsided a little and I enjoyed a few parts of the day in the end. 

I’ve set some goals for the week so I’m feeling more positive and determined to stick to them.

[northpaul]

1 hour ago, determination987 said:

I’ve set some goals for the week so I’m feeling more positive and determined to stick to them.

This sounds encouraging.  Good to set some goals.  I hope you manage to attain your goals.  Even if you dont fully attain all the goals but you have made good progress towards them that is also good.   Remember the the recent comments about progress in your Beneficial Activities thread.  If you end the week in a better place that is progress.

[Ma29]

Yesterday was really hard and I did give in right at the end of the day to a thought, more so than the other thoughts I experienced during the day. 
 

That being said - I think I’d like to acknowledge that I changed my baby’s nappy for the first time in 10 weeks yesterday. I just went for it - thoughts started to flood in as soon as I popped him on the changing mat but I said to myself ‘I’m just changing my sons nappy that’s all’ and every time I got anxious I reminded myself of this by saying it out aloud. Also, he had actually done the poo, I realised before I opened the nappy and I did not chicken out but continued with it so it meant I had to wipe thoroughly and take my time more so than if he hadn’t done the poo. 

We also went for a walk in the sun.
 

Also, my 1.5 year old nephew stood next to me at my knees for a few minutes playing with the baby and I did not deter him away. So I had a lot of exposure to something I have been avoiding recently - nothing bad happened. 
 

Now the challenge is not to give in to these thoughts because I’ve come so far this week that I don’t want all my hard work to go to waste. 
 

Thanks again for everyone’s support and encouragement on this thread and other threads sod mine - I really do appreciate your patience and input. 

[Caramoole]

Those are massive achievements Ma You'd pushed yourself hard several times on big things, so forgive yourself for having a bit of a wobble at the end of the day, it's a huge achievement bu still quite a lot of stress.  New day, new week and you've made some huge gains to bank.  I hope your family are proud of you too

[determination987]

20 hours ago, northpaul said:

This sounds encouraging.  Good to set some goals.  I hope you manage to attain your goals.  Even if you dont fully attain all the goals but you have made good progress towards them that is also good.   Remember the the recent comments about progress in your Beneficial Activities thread.  If you end the week in a better place that is progress.

Thanks . I think goals are helping my mindset as ‘stop compulsions’ feels impossible as a goal on its own. I’m hoping that gradually building it up will work and increasing the goals as I go.

This week is about learning to notice when it’s an intrusive thought and trying to avoid getting stuck on them. I’m hoping then I can build it up and do exposures next week, unless I should be doing that at the same time.

Today has been a better day. I’ve noticed when the thoughts have been creeping in and when I’ve started interacting with them and I’ve practiced bringing myself back to the present.

I’ve also done some watercolour painting as Taurean suggested and I’ve been for walks and enjoyed the lighter afternoons. Really can’t wait for spring time!

 

[taurean]

3 hours ago, determination987 said:

Today has been a better day. I’ve noticed when the thoughts have been creeping in and when I’ve started interacting with them and I’ve practiced bringing myself back to the present.

This is good. The magic starts when you leave thoughts be without connecting with them, and shift focus back to what you were doing/want to do.

OCD craves attention.When it doesn't get attention it will up its game, so watch out for that and keep on simply noting it's happening, then refocusing away. 

Slowly, but surely, the intrusions will lose power and frequency, happening less and less.

Tonight something that would erstwhile have been a massive OCD trigger to me came up during a TV programme we were watching over dinner.

What happened next? I just gently eased my thinking away from that,  and pretty instantly forgot about it. 

And that is exactly how a non-OCD sufferer would deal with such a potential upset. So I am well pleased.

[Ma29]

Managed to go out today for lunch, buy a few gifts and come back and change baby’s nappy and tickle and kiss him loads - I love him so much. 

[Saffron37]

3 hours ago, Ma29 said:

Managed to go out today for lunch, buy a few gifts and come back and change baby’s nappy and tickle and kiss him loads - I love him so much. 

I'm very proud of you, Ma!!!  You can do this!!

[Caramoole]

3 hours ago, Ma29 said:

Managed to go out today for lunch, buy a few gifts and come back and change baby’s nappy and tickle and kiss him loads - I love him so much. 

We know you do, it's obvious......that's why it's wonderful when you can dig deep & find the strength to fight back so you can enjoy the love you, and he, deserve.  When the going gets tough and the doubts challenge you, hang onto this.  Well Done for getting out yet again.  You're doing so many challenges and winning......next step is to keep working on not being caught out and surprised when the obsessive thoughts catch you off guard.  Those same old original fear doubts will keep cropping up, just as they did tonight.  Your task is to try and recognise them when they do.  Ask your Hubby for a supportive hug of acknowledgement but not for reassurance, just support.  You're doing really well

[determination987]

I managed to bring myself back from deep in a hole of compulsions today. After getting advice on here, I decided to say ‘so what’ to the thoughts for now and to go for a nice walk with my dog and listened to some music on the way. I was grateful for the lighter afternoons and tried to be as mindful as I could be.

Thanks to all of you for your support. It is helping keep me on track and I’m very grateful.

Edited February 2, 2022 by determination987

[taurean]

6 hours ago, determination987 said:

I managed to bring myself back from deep in a hole of compulsions today. After getting advice on here, I decided to say ‘so what’ to the thoughts for now and to go for a nice walk with my dog and listened to some music on the way. I was grateful for the lighter afternoons and tried to be as mindful as I could be.

Thanks to all of you for your support. It is helping keep me on track and I’m very grateful.

This is your way forward my friend.

Only when we start to not listen to the thoughts , start giving up the compulsions, will we then begin to find - after a quick rally by them that you have to resist - that they will become less frequent, less powerful.

To summarise 

When we connect with,  believe the intrusions, then carry out compulsions to try "fix" them  we only strengthen the OCD, and intrusions come more frequently, more powerfully.

When we ignore them, and switch focus - and follow that path keeping to that goal - the intrusions will ease as too the urge to carry out compulsions.

This isn't of course what comes naturally- what comes naturally sucks us in and makes us worse. 

But for me it's the single most essential part of grasping and applying CBT for OCD.

[determination987]

4 hours ago, taurean said:

This is your way forward my friend.

Only when we start to not listen to the thoughts , start giving up the compulsions, will we then begin to find - after a quick rally by them that you have to resist - that they will become less frequent, less powerful.

To summarise 

When we connect with,  believe the intrusions, then carry out compulsions to try "fix" them  we only strengthen the OCD, and intrusions come more frequently, more powerfully.

When we ignore them, and switch focus - and follow that path keeping to that goal - the intrusions will ease as too the urge to carry out compulsions.

This isn't of course what comes naturally- what comes naturally sucks us in and makes us worse. 

But for me it's the single most essential part of grasping and applying CBT for OCD.

Thanks Taurean.

I've woken up with a better mindset today. After feeling hopeless yesterday, I pulled through and went to bed without the thoughts cycling which helped :).

I'm determined not to let another day be stolen by my thoughts.

[northpaul]

15 hours ago, determination987 said:

I decided to say ‘so what’ to the thoughts for now and to go for a nice walk with my dog and listened to some music on the way. I was grateful for the lighter afternoons and tried to be as mindful as I could be.

4 hours ago, determination987 said:

've woken up with a better mindset today. After feeling hopeless yesterday, I pulled through and went to bed without the thoughts cycling which helped :).

I'm determined not to let another day be stolen by my thoughts.

Good posts!  Your comments are infectious - they have lifted my mood.  

[determination987]

4 hours ago, northpaul said:

Good posts!  Your comments are infectious - they have lifted my mood.  

Thanks Northpaul,

Today was a better day. I think the mindset helped at the start of the day and I’m noticing I have dips in the day when tired or hungry and that’s when the thoughts come at me more and feel more compelling. 
 

I found myself reasoning a few times but concentrated on breathing and said ‘so what if that’s true, I’m going to concentrate on right now’ which was really hard but I’m feeling proud now, rather than feeling like I’m failing at it.

I’m also reading a book about compassionate based mindfulness for OCD which is good. I’ve realised that I need to be more compassionate to myself and not just let the thoughts be. I’m hoping that I can stop seeing the worst case scenario for everything but one step at a time. 
 

Anxiety has been really high at times but it’s come down a bit now and I haven’t done any reasoning, rationalising or checking so something must be working!
 

[determination987]

After getting caught up in compulsions mid week and feeling like I wouldn’t be able to come through, I be been working hard on just acknowledging the thoughts and sort of saying hi to them (that sounds silly I know). Almost like ‘oh hello, you’re back again to take my thoughts away. Well I’m busy right now’.

It’s kind of working and I’m noticing just how much I’m pulled towards intrusive thoughts over the day and more at certain parts when I have time to think. It’s a bit relentless but I’m keeping at it.

It’s been three days and it’s working well so far and I’ve been able to do some nice things in the meantime and some old triggers from old intrusive thoughts that still would have set me off before, haven’t sent me spiralling.

A letter came through the post and in the past I would have read it over and over and googled extensively. I actually just scanned it once which is big progress for me.

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend 

[taurean]

This is the right way, well done you