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Breast lump ocd thought help ;(


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Hi I used to use this from room many year's ago can't believe it still running  ?

This last 2 year's have been so hard for me my OCD has been hell . I've had everything going you could think of ,Brain tumor I even paid to have a MRI scan as I was conceived I had a tumor it turned out to be nerve damaged in the back of my head ;( very painful but I honestly thought I was going to die of this, I kept telling everyone I've got a tumor .The next obsessed thought was checking for lumps on my neck , my neck would be so sore from me pushing it in all the time I took my self to the dr's asking for then to check me nothing wrong there . waiting on my smear test results was HELL I would ring about twice a day asking for the results when they said the Dr hasn't look at them he needs to read them first and then I'll get back to you he voice sounded funny I actually took that as I had cervical cancer my god I panicked the Dr rang me the results was fine . ? Anyway 3 weeks ago I had a pain in my left boob my First thought was omg I've got to book a ultrascan !!! Like what normal person would think that from just one but of pain,  well My mind went mad the pain was there for 2 days on and off it was  just a little niggle pain . Well anyway it went away.  Then a couple of week's later ,I come on My period and it happen again but this does happen this is normal for my boobs  to hurt when I'm due on sorry if any men are reading this ?? X well I started to obsess over this pain that was normal when I'm on my period I took my self up stairs and started to poke away at my breast tissue for days !!!! My god I have caused my self pain I'm my boobs I have rang the dr's crying say I think I have found lumps and there pain , he booked me to go and see him he is so used  to me now his such a nice doctor ,he said because you have told me you have pain and I can feel some lumps on both sides I will book you an emergency ultrascan at the breast clinic I've never been so worried in my life I've got to wait 2-weeks!! He did say he's 99% sure there is nothing sinister but my god I'm scared .  It have a breast lift 8 years ago and he did say it could be scar damage tissue .. I cried my eyes out saying please I can't wait 2 weeks .

Even when he did say I'm sure it's nothing sinister !!! I said you're only saying that to shut me up !!! I have been making myself sick with worry ??

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Hi Twinkle. I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time. Unfortunately, I've been where you are, and I know how painful (literally and figuratively) it is.

A few things to remember:

-Breast pain is almost never related to cancer.

-During your period, hormonal changes causes breasts to swell, meaning that they feel lumpier than usual.

-You've been poking at your breast tissue for days, so they have become very swollen and irritated, causing the lumpy texture. It's cause and effect: the more you poke and prod, the more inflamed, the lumpier. That's all that's going on. 

-Your doctor is not lying to you to make you feel better. That would be unbelievably immoral and they would not do that. Your doctor clearly saw that you are panicked and is ordering a scan in order to soothe your extreme anxiety.

This is OCD. You know it is OCD. Take some deep breaths and calm down. Are you receiving any help for your OCD?

Edited by Saffron37
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Thank you so much for getting back to me this is driving me crazy ?sorry about my spelling , every waking hour I'm thinking right I haven't got it then 5 minutes after I haven't:( I'm booked in for a tummy tuck in 6 week's and keep thinking this will get cancelled because of this . I'm 38 no one has never had breast cancer in my family and I've got 10 aunts and 32 cousin it's a massive family . This ocd is worst I've ever had ... Actually I think that about every thought I've had .. I actually think some of my friends are enjoying seeing me like this :( I've told 3 of them , and you know when you can just tell the look on there face like they are loving it ... I keep Looking at my little boy crying ;( xx. X

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