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In need of some support xx


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Hello 

I’m wondering if people get OCD about what I call real things?
for example walking in something which you feel is/could be bad. 

for example I’m writing because I’m not sure how we are going to leave the house tomorrow. 
 

A work van was parked right outside my front door. His van has leaked something that isn’t water as it’s not gone away. It’s under the drivers seat area. So my minds gone to battery acid or something dangerous. 
 

My neighbour walked through it and past my front door. 
Im now petrified of having to leave the house with my children tomorrow. 
 

Is this ocd? Probably. 
But is it really something to be concerned about? 
im not sure I want the answer. 
I know I should just carry on with our lives. But the fear !!!! 

I’d certainly appreciate some support this evening. 
 

thank you in advance 

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There is nothing real about OCD obsessions. None of them. Did something leak from the van? Maybe. But that's not the issue. It's how your mind blows this insignificant thing into a huge, life altering issue.

THAT'S PROBABLY BATTERY ACID AND IT'S GOING TO GET ALL OVER YOU AND YOUR SHOES AND YOU'LL GET IT EVERYWHERE AND EVERYTHING WILL BE CONTAMINATED THIS IS THE WORST THING POSSIBLE!!

That's what OCD sounds like. And it's not true. It's not a three alarm fire. It's insignificant. There are drips and puddles from vehicles everywhere. We all walk through them, around them, give them no thought and carry on.

OCD is lying to you. It always lies. Every time. It won't stop lying until you stop taking it seriously. 

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Hard to do but one of the best things you can do with any anxiety panic is do the opposite of what your brain is screaming at you to do, feel the fear and do it anyway, walk towards fear instead of running the opposite way.  As I've probably said a thousand times, you're already anxious so be anxious whilst beating your fear :)  Go walk down the street right now :hug:

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37 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

Hard to do but one of the best things you can do with any anxiety panic is do the opposite of what your brain is screaming at you to do, feel the fear and do it anyway, walk towards fear instead of running the opposite way.  As I've probably said a thousand times, you're already anxious so be anxious whilst beating your fear :)  Go walk down the street right now :hug:

Thank you. It’s tricky when your brain is used to working in a particular way. 
I avoid stepping in things - just incase. 
but now someone has spread this right up to my door I’m kind of either stuck in home or carry on and be normal. So not really got a choice as my daughters have a club tomorrow and so need to leave the house. 
***breath*** 

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I know what I should do to beat OCD. 

Stop thinking the thoughts.

But they’re now getting to me.

I don’t want reassurance as I don’t want it to get worse. 

I just want someone to talk too. 

I’ve had one of my worst weeks in 7 years. And now I’m trying to turn things around. 
Its easier to tell someone else what they need to do. But putting it in my own practice I’m finding hard. 
I dropped my daughters hair grip on the floor just before her audition. It was where I had trod. 
I used a compulsion and washed it. I wanted everything to be safe and ok for her.
But all it’s done is given me further doubt. 
I really hate feeling sad all the time. It’s not fair on my family. 

I can’t talk to them without my ocd seeking reassurance. 
 

any advise on how to talk about it with OCD craving reassurance?

 

thank you in advance 

xxx

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3 hours ago, Jan111 said:

Hey @KaTiee did you manage to leave the house though to take your daughter?

Hi Jan111 

 

thank you so much for replying. 
I did it. But it’s been super terrifying for me. 
I am trying to not think about it but that’s not easy. It lead to further thoughts as we arrived. Me dropping her hair grip on the floor where I was stood etc…. I gave into compulsions because I didn’t have time to sit with it as she needed it for her audition. 
 

managed to ride through the day some how. 
now it’s another day and as I’m trying to fight this particular fear another bounced into my head. 
 

I swear it knows when I’m going to be on my own. It knows when I’m going to be sad after school run. 
I need to try and break this routine somehow. 
I really appreciate this message this morning because I’m so sad. 
 

I don’t want to be sad anymore ?

 

xx

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Hey! @KaTiee

But look though even though it’s terrifying you still did it and you should be proud of yourself. Think of the little wins in your day when these not so great thought pop in to your head. 
 

oh yeah 100%!! It gets you when you are alone. I’m the exact same. It comes back when we have isolation or lock downs. I seen a quote the other day thought. ‘Get out of your head and into the moment’ so every time I have an intrusive thought or something that doesn’t please me I say that quote over and over and go and do something! Whether it be make a drink or read a page of a book. Anything no matter how small. Give it a go :) 

 

also with you worrying so much I would suggest saying that quote to yourself and thinking you are safe. You can’t spend your days worrying about what might happen you have to just enjoy each day like it’s your last. 
 

here if you need to talk xxx

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Thanks jan111

Definitely not living my life at the moment. Just existing each day. Trying to get through each day. Dreading tomorrow. It’s such a sad way to live. And it’s affecting my family also. I’ve had a bad day today. But with help and supportI have got through this. I just need to keep going as we all do. I’d like to not be so aware of every little thing around me. I’d like to be able to enjoy moments. I’d like to be able to actually be relaxed and enjoy time and events and just every day life. Having anxiety sitting on my shoulder watching every tiny thing I do just in case I get it wrong is no way to live.

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9 hours ago, Jan111 said:

Hey @KaTiee

im so sorry you are really struggling at the moment. I really feel your pain. If you don’t mind me asking are you on any anti depressants? 

I’m no longer on them due to other health issues caused by them. 
came off them about October and my other health issues are much better. 
I reduced them with help and gradually. I still had the same feelings when I was in them tbh. So figured that pumping my body with drugs really isn’t for me. I’d been on and off them for 7 years. So I’m now seeking help as I’m not able to do this completely alone. 
mind have been wonderful this last couple of days. 
I’ve also found an NHS retreat and that is brilliant to know I can speak to someone when it’s all too much. 
I am actually trying and have all the knowledge and understanding of this condition. And I understand the way my brain works now and hopefully knowledge is power. But it’s going to take time. 
sorry to offload on you. I just find writing it down or speaking a good thing. Trying to keep it inside which I actually do as I don’t want anyone to know about my illness as it’s “weird” I feel. And just saying I have OCD doesn’t really cover it as people aren’t educated about it. 
if people knew the struggle of it was widely talked about. 
I mean they had something on the tv but it focussed on one persons experience which was sexual and I don’t feel it would have reached people in the correct way. 
focusing on one persons thoughts isn’t actually ocd. OCD is the obsession with a thought. The compulsions or rituals which are exhausting and the loneliness.

Just wish people understood better I guess. 
 

anyway how are you?

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Offload all you want to me :) @KaTiee your never alone and writing does help! I’m glad stopping the medication has helped your other health conditions. It’s a shame they can’t find something that will help our ocd and not affect you in other ways. I take fluoxetine and last time round I wasn’t sure if it was the tablets helping or just me. But this time I know for sure I have a serotonin problem and the tablets have helped my ocd. I seen mind last time this happened to me and they where so helpful so that will be great for you!!

 

14 hours ago, KaTiee said:

I don’t want anyone to know about my illness as it’s “weird” I feel. And just saying I have OCD doesn’t really cover it as people

I agree with this!! No one round me really knows what ocd is I think. I didn’t until it happened to me. It’s honestly mad and it’s crazy how little we are educated in it.

At the moment I’m doing okay. A few weeks ago i just wanted to not live anymore but I’m doing loads to try better myself. How are you feeling now? 

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16 hours ago, Jan111 said:

Offload all you want to me :) @KaTiee your never alone and writing does help! I’m glad stopping the medication has helped your other health conditions. It’s a shame they can’t find something that will help our ocd and not affect you in other ways. I take fluoxetine and last time round I wasn’t sure if it was the tablets helping or just me. But this time I know for sure I have a serotonin problem and the tablets have helped my ocd. I seen mind last time this happened to me and they where so helpful so that will be great for you!!

 

I agree with this!! No one round me really knows what ocd is I think. I didn’t until it happened to me. It’s honestly mad and it’s crazy how little we are educated in it.

At the moment I’m doing okay. A few weeks ago i just wanted to not live anymore but I’m doing loads to try better myself. How are you feeling now? 

Im sorry to hear you went through a bad time a few weeks ago. It’s like that for me this week & last. 
it’s good to hear you are doing better now. I probably/most definitely have a serotonin issue. However, I’m trying to figure this all out. I feel like I’m in my own world moving slowly with everyone else moving around me. You know like in the films lol. 
Im not actually sure how to get better. 
I try to move forward but then take 2 steps back each time. 
 

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