Sexual thoughts

[ThomasOCD]

Hello everyone, I have this question about OCD. I am in recovery and doing better becaus of CBT and medication. 
 

Sometimes I get intrusive thought or when I ruminate I think of something sexual and this wierd thoughts that I feel nothing to, bring intrusive good memories It’s like they don’t match. 
 

Can someone have sexual thoughts or thoughts of people doing sexual things without sexualising it ? I mean these thoughts can feel just like thoughts ? Not like desire or arousing sexual thoughts ? 

[Ray]

5 hours ago, ThomasOCD said:

Hello everyone, I have this question about OCD. I am in recovery and doing better becaus of CBT and medication. 
 

Sometimes I get intrusive thought or when I ruminate I think of something sexual and this wierd thoughts that I feel nothing to, bring intrusive good memories It’s like they don’t match. 
 

Can someone have sexual thoughts or thoughts of people doing sexual things without sexualising it ? I mean these thoughts can feel just like thoughts ? Not like desire or arousing sexual thoughts ? 

Well to me a person i.e. me can have sexual thoughts without them being arousing or desirable to use your words. I've had thoughts about people I don't fancy and I'm like "oh there go my thoughts again!" kind of thing. 

[ThomasOCD]

1 hour ago, Ray said:

Well to me a person i.e. me can have sexual thoughts without them being arousing or desirable to use your words. I've had thoughts about people I don't fancy and I'm like "oh there go my thoughts again!" kind of thing. 

I have this wierd compulsion to figure out why but I know this is going to make me feel worse. But I have sexual thought and I don’t feel nothing to it, I just let them be and I feel bad I have them amd there is no anxiety. Sometimes I get intrusive memory about something nice and these kind of thoughts get in these memories and I don’t feel nothing about them just like a noise in the background. 

[discuccsant]

Everytime I read topics about this, I just get very frustrated, because of the misconceptions and how easy it would be to fix this. Whenever the topic is about sexual thoughts, I just get somehow triggered, because I'm like: How it comes you guys don't understand how sexuality works? I'm now sure if you know it or not, but I'll just post this once, to give you maybe some kind of "Oh well, I can work with that to beat OCD"  vibes. If you keep asking questions over stuff like these over and over again, then it's 100% clear that no explanation will help you and that you should really stop asking for clarification like that.

To make it short : 

1. Yes, you can have sex with everything and it will bring sexual pleasure without, despite your morals or your desires. Sorry, that's how mechanical/physical stimulation works. Can't do anything about it. 
2. Yes, you can find other men or parts of their body attractive as well, if they happen to resemble features of things we like from women, e.g. curvy bottoms and so on. Sorry, but men do get easily stimulated by visuals. Our eyes don't care if the yoga pants is being worn by a man or woman, as long as it have specific characteristics we like. That is how our biology works. 
3. Yes, if you think about having sex with a man, you'll feel something "down there" and even some kind of arousal. Simply because of the feelings you would associate with it, as explained in point 1). This is how we as humans work. Once again.
4. Yes, you will have weird sexual feelings, you don't like, because your preference is pointed at something else, i.e. woman. Egodystonic is the key here. That's normal. Refer to pont 1), 2) and 3) to understand why these sexual feelings could and will happen throughout your life. 
5. Yes, if you see stuff with your "sexual eyes", you'll have a "sexual feeling". Normally we would do it out of intuition, because we think something is sexy with our minds, but people with OCD tend to do it out of testing and not out of actual desire. I think it's called "false attraction", but look: If you look at a potato with "sexual vibes" it will always feel "sexual" to you. Understand my point? If you put yourself into "sexual mode", of course everthing will feel "sexual", even though you don't desire it at all. Man, I can have sexual vibes to the trash bin right next to me, if I would force myself to view it in a sexual way! Everytime I read stuff like that, it feels for me like, as if someones complains is like this: "Oh man, whenever I smash my head against the wall, it keeps hurting! What should I do?! I can't take it anymore!". Get my point?

Now: 

1. Stop testing your physical reactions, as there is no need to, because of everything I explained.
2. Stop trying to figure stuff out and just like, what you like: Women. Without questioning it. If you do want to like women only, then there you go: That's called heterosexual. No more questions asked. Don't give a single .... about your body in all of this.
3. Stop asking for reassurance, you tarn as quest for clarification, over and over again. This wont help you and just makes everthing worse! You don't need any kind of reassurance! You simply don't!
4. Go and with your life and stop giving the kinds of intrusive thoughts any kind of importance anymore: Don't have girlfriend? Get yourself tinder and try to get one, that's more important that whether or not you could have sex with some guy named Grzegorz, haha. 

Now stop giving these kind of thoughts, no matter what they're about, any kind of importance anymore. They are not important at all. Just understand, that our bodies ARE NOT our minds and that we can't force our bodies to be a 1:1 reflection of our minds. This doesn't work. Sorry, but you have to live with this. But don't worry: It's normal and for everybody the same. 

Wish you the very bes

[Eric Dave]

37 minutes ago, discuccsant said:

Everytime I read topics about this, I just get very frustrated, because of the misconceptions and how easy it would be to fix this. Whenever the topic is about sexual thoughts, I just get somehow triggered, because I'm like: How it comes you guys don't understand how sexuality works? I'm now sure if you know it or not, but I'll just post this once, to give you maybe some kind of "Oh well, I can work with that to beat OCD"  vibes. If you keep asking questions over stuff like these over and over again, then it's 100% clear that no explanation will help you and that you should really stop asking for clarification like that.

To make it short : 

1. Yes, you can have sex with everything and it will bring sexual pleasure without, despite your morals or your desires. Sorry, that's how mechanical/physical stimulation works. Can't do anything about it. 
2. Yes, you can find other men or parts of their body attractive as well, if they happen to resemble features of things we like from women, e.g. curvy bottoms and so on. Sorry, but men do get easily stimulated by visuals. Our eyes don't care if the yoga pants is being worn by a man or woman, as long as it have specific characteristics we like. That is how our biology works. 
3. Yes, if you think about having sex with a man, you'll feel something "down there" and even some kind of arousal. Simply because of the feelings you would associate with it, as explained in point 1). This is how we as humans work. Once again.
4. Yes, you will have weird sexual feelings, you don't like, because your preference is pointed at something else, i.e. woman. Egodystonic is the key here. That's normal. Refer to pont 1), 2) and 3) to understand why these sexual feelings could and will happen throughout your life. 
5. Yes, if you see stuff with your "sexual eyes", you'll have a "sexual feeling". Normally we would do it out of intuition, because we think something is sexy with our minds, but people with OCD tend to do it out of testing and not out of actual desire. I think it's called "false attraction", but look: If you look at a potato with "sexual vibes" it will always feel "sexual" to you. Understand my point? If you put yourself into "sexual mode", of course everthing will feel "sexual", even though you don't desire it at all. Man, I can have sexual vibes to the trash bin right next to me, if I would force myself to view it in a sexual way! Everytime I read stuff like that, it feels for me like, as if someones complains is like this: "Oh man, whenever I smash my head against the wall, it keeps hurting! What should I do?! I can't take it anymore!". Get my point?

Now: 

1. Stop testing your physical reactions, as there is no need to, because of everything I explained.
2. Stop trying to figure stuff out and just like, what you like: Women. Without questioning it. If you do want to like women only, then there you go: That's called heterosexual. No more questions asked. Don't give a single .... about your body in all of this.
3. Stop asking for reassurance, you tarn as quest for clarification, over and over again. This wont help you and just makes everthing worse! You don't need any kind of reassurance! You simply don't!
4. Go and with your life and stop giving the kinds of intrusive thoughts any kind of importance anymore: Don't have girlfriend? Get yourself tinder and try to get one, that's more important that whether or not you could have sex with some guy named Grzegorz, haha. 

Now stop giving these kind of thoughts, no matter what they're about, any kind of importance anymore. They are not important at all. Just understand, that our bodies ARE NOT our minds and that we can't force our bodies to be a 1:1 reflection of our minds. This doesn't work. Sorry, but you have to live with this. But don't worry: It's normal and for everybody the same. 

Wish you the very bes

Great post.  But what about instant intense groinal responses?

I can be watching a movie or tv show and out of nowhere a scene of a topless man may suddenly without warning pop up and I instantly get a STRONG sensation of muscles tightening down there like a sexual electrical surge. 

This isnt a focus intently on groin and it appears after 20 seconds.  Its instant and comes before thoughts.

And my sex drive to women has totally vanished for a number of years now.

[Caramoole]

45 minutes ago, Eric Dave said:

Great post.  But what about instant intense groinal responses?

I can be watching a movie or tv show and out of nowhere a scene of a topless man may suddenly without warning pop up and I instantly get a STRONG sensation of muscles tightening down there like a sexual electrical surge. 

This isnt a focus intently on groin and it appears after 20 seconds.  Its instant and comes before thoughts.

And my sex drive to women has totally vanished for a number of years now.

I'm surprised you're surprised Eric.  You've fine tuned yourself in to expecting this response (whilst desperately hoping to forbid it) and as a result it's become the default, automatic response.  Until you start to change your response and your compulsions it's going to remain a problem.  I recommend that you seek professional help but you seem resistant to doing this, so for now, you have to find a way to live alongside it.