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Hello every1. Ive been suffring for long time now. I had intrusive thoughts of harm in past and it made me feel like im a evil. but recently ive been even worst. im not sure if i even have ocd. 

months ago, i came across a funny video but it cut across to gay people kissing and it made me feel weird, thats when this started. i got over that and put it behind me (or so i thought) i was joking with friend a few months ago and he called me a gay. i laughed but when i left the bar to go went home i thought was i a gay? since then ive been 'ruminating' about being a gay. all my life iv never been lookings at men but now i worry. i started testing myself by watching gay porn to see if i liked it. my heart rate would go up and i would get erections. i see other people on here focus on getting erections but im not bothered about that, i know erections mean nothing but when i tested myself i was so anxious but it felt like i liked it sometimes. is ocd able to do this? can ocd make you feel like you like it sometimes? i cantt stop worrying about this, i get so worrie. i dont want to be a gay, but it felt like i enjoyed video. 

to any gay please do not be offend i am not a homophobic, i just don want to be gay i ve been straight but ever since this happen it drive me mad

can ocd make you feel like you like a video???? im not talking about erection 

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sometimes i get thoughts and i get groinal response to them and sometimes i test myself by thinking about the thoughts myself and it feels like i lik ethem sometimes, im shaking please does this mean im a gay?

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3 minutes ago, Lightning said:

Can some1 please help me? I'm cant stop shaking. Can OCD make you feel like you like it?(not talking about groinal responses)

OCD can fool the sufferer into believing all kinds of things. I’ve been in a world of weirdness, terror and shock for much of the last quarter century. Sexuality themed OCD is pretty common and also treatable. 

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Hello ray thank you very much for response

its not just believing though, when i tested by watching it felt like i liked it. then my heart rate when mad and iv been worrying ever since. can ocd actually do that? i have hard time believing it actulaly can make you feel.

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6 minutes ago, Lightning said:

Hello ray thank you very much for response

its not just believing though, when i tested by watching it felt like i liked it. then my heart rate when mad and iv been worrying ever since. can ocd actually do that? i have hard time believing it actulaly can make you feel.

In my experience the mental anguish and physical anxiety that comes with OCD can be horrible. Have you ever heard OCD called “the doubting disease”? It sure is! Have you spoken to a doctor? 

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5 minutes ago, Lightning said:

i have heard it called that and no i haven't spoken to a doctor

Well maybe put some thought into talking to a doctor. OCD has many themes and is treatable.

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i dont want to go to a doctor because it is embarasing. i havent been entirely honest with my post because im embarsed, its not being gay i worry about but something else. its not not anything bad but something i do not like

Edited by Lightning
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@PolarBear sorry for tagging, please can you help you seem you have lot of experience with ocd. i really have a problem with fetish i dont like, but when i test myself with videos I feel weird and i get high anxiety and high ehart rate. im so upset i want it to stop. can ocd make you feel like you like things?

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You already received an answer to your question. Now you're back asking again. This can become a compulsion, asking for reassurance. 

For the second time, yes it can. What is more important is that you are testing yourself. That is a compulsion and it needs to stop. 

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yes, i just wanted to hear another persons opinion. i wanted to ask you because you seem knowledgable on ocd. no offend to Ray, i apprciate the help. i am just very uneasy at the moment. i do not feel good. i apprciate the help

Edited by Lightning
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Straight people can be turned on by gay porn....or vice versa.    People can be turned on by beastialty.  People can be turned on by thoughts of rape or dominance  or almost anything but would never enjoy it in reality.  It becomes a problem when we become afraid of the thoughts and engage in compulsions as a means to control the fears.  

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7 hours ago, PolarBear said:

You already received an answer to your question. Now you're back asking again. This can become a compulsion, asking for reassurance. 

For the second time, yes it can. What is more important is that you are testing yourself. That is a compulsion and it needs to stop. 

Do you not think this response is lacking sensitivity? This person is bewildered and frightened by their thoughts - do you remember feeling that way?

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22 hours ago, Lightning said:

yes, i just wanted to hear another persons opinion. i wanted to ask you because you seem knowledgable on ocd. no offend to Ray, i apprciate the help. i am just very uneasy at the moment. i do not feel good. i apprciate the help

Normal feelings that go with OCD. Can feel like you are not in control. The good news is that you can gain control back.

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