Realised a lot of things since my diagnosis

[Summer9173]

Hi everybody, I just needed to rant and get some advice as ever since I became ill and have had time off work for my OCD and Depression, I can honestly say those around me who I thought would’ve been there for me, haven’t been there for me at all. 
 

I’m also writing this so I can look back, when they need my help I know not to give too much of myself again like I always have done. I’ve always been the ‘counsellor friend’ the ‘jokey friend’ and I’ve opened up to people at my lowest - including my own boyfriend and they haven’t been there for me , it’s really put things into perspective even with my relationship. I think when I’m better I need to re-evaluate some relationships in my life, not once when I was feeling suicidal did my boyfriend come round to check if I was okay, nor my friends, no call no message nothing. It’s made me angry of course as I’ve given these people my all. I bought my boyfriend a £500 electric scooter and £450 Gucci trainers as well as many other things because I love him, been first on call to visit my friends during their breakdowns and give them cuddles/chocolate. But when it’s me? It’s like a light bulb has switched in my head today as people on this forum have been there for me then the people in my own lifeI need to make a change, I need to be around people who will be there for me no matter what, I just don’t know how to change this now I've came to the realisation. 

[Ma29]

Hey Summer,

Sadly, its life… we go through experiences which help us recognise the people that are good for us and not so good for us.. focus on getting yourself better and once you’re ready the rest will come into place. If you need support from your boyfriend or relatives right now and don’t feel like you’re getting the right support then tell them how you feel and try to help them understand - that’s the best you can do. 

Good luck  

[Caramoole]

Summer....you are quite right, you are indeed mad!  £450 for trainers??!!!    

 

[Saffron37]

10 hours ago, Summer9173 said:

I’m also writing this so I can look back, when they need my help I know not to give too much of myself again like I always have done. I’ve always been the ‘counsellor friend’ the ‘jokey friend’ and I’ve opened up to people at my lowest - including my own boyfriend and they haven’t been there for me , it’s really put things into perspective even with my relationship. I think when I’m better I need to re-evaluate some relationships in my life, not once when I was feeling suicidal did my boyfriend come round to check if I was okay, nor my friends, no call no message nothing. It’s made me angry of course as I’ve given these people my all. I bought my boyfriend a £500 electric scooter and £450 Gucci trainers as well as many other things because I love him, been first on call to visit my friends during their breakdowns and give them cuddles/chocolate. But when it’s me? It’s like a light bulb has switched in my head today as people on this forum have been there for me then the people in my own lifeI need to make a change, I need to be around people who will be there for me no matter what, I just don’t know how to change this now I've came to the realisation. 

Oh honey. That's a really tough and really important and really brave observation. Sounds like you're starting to realize your own worth a little more, which is wonderful. One thing I can tell you is that at age 38, my friend group is richer and more varied and wonderful than anything I could have imagined at your age. You will find your people, people who will treat you well and with love and appreciation. But it does mean having to make tough realizations like this one, and then to be willing to keep searching.

That said, you have time. You have so much time. Right now just focus on taking the best care of yourself possible, getting nutrition and sleep as much as you can. Just imagine...all that love and care you give to your friends and boyfriend. Imagine what it would be like if you directed that beautiful attention towards yourself!