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Hanxiety - The Day After Drinking


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Hi everyone 

I’ve got really bad anxiety from drinking last night. I have relationship OCD so when I go out I’m constantly worried I’m going to cheat on my boyfriend. 

I was with my friend all night but there was a guy was talking to me last night on my own for a few minutes while my friend wasn’t there and I keep going over it in my head because I did think he was good looking and he was making me laugh so what if I did something? What if I kissed him? What if I’ve ruined my whole relationship?  

I’ve messaged my boyfriend this morning and told him about it and he just keeps saying he trusts me but how can he when I can’t even trust myself? 

this is horrible. I’ve just got this nasty little voice in the back of my head telling me I’ve cheated on my boyfriend and should just end my life or punish myself in some way (for me I get the thought of pouring bleach onto my own head a lot which is a thought that’s hard to ignore) I know logically I’d never do it, but if I can think it then what if I could do it? What if I just go insane and convince myself I deserve it and do it? Like logically I know that’s OCD but it feels a bit too real 

Edited by thistooshallpass1996
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Good morning,

There's a lot of 'what if's' here concerning what may of happened in the past, on your night out and what you may do in the future.

Firstly, in regards to your night out, I would use the theory A/theory B method of deducing what happened.

Theory A being that you chatted with this person, found them attractive and then engaged with something physical that lead to you cheating on your partner.

Theory B being that you chatted with this person, found them attractive (which is natural) but your OCD is making a big deal of this and making you question what really happened.

I reckon once you do this AND then not keep going back over events, the second part (the feelings of guilt and self hate) will lesson somewhat, but it is important not to engage with what thoughts you do get.

On a side note, I get really bad periods of stress the day after I have a drink, which is worse with some drinks than others, so if this is something you find affects you then maybe see which drink affects you less, take a glass of water to bed with you and stay well hydrated the day after (I have a feeling this may be part of my problem)

Hope you have a lovely day

Symps

Edited by Symps07
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I'm sorry you're going through this. OCD will make your worries seem real, that's why it's so hard to deal with.

You know this is OCD so you have to treat it as that. Stop going over things in your head. Go for a walk, treat yourself to a nice coffee and spend the rest of the day infront of netflix. Hope this feeling subsides soon.

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I quit drinking few months ago because of Hanxiety, Even I knew I didn't do anything bad when I was drunk my OCD was still trying to trick me with gulit feeling so I was wondering if I did something bad because why would I feel this way. My anxiety was bad really bad. I started to doubt myself but now when I see this now I know this was typical OCD. Doubt, gulit, rumination, false memories and anxiety !  Next time eat well, lots of vitamins, minerals and hydrate yourself. Best way is to quit drinking like I did.

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@ThomasOCD

this mirrors my experience to a T! Guilt, false memories, rumination - toxic mix 

It usually lasts for about a day, I talk about it with people I trust and then normally I can move on from whatever I think happened that night 

@Handy

I have thought about giving up drinking but I feel like I’d be missing out on so many experiences. I hardly ever drink and when I do it’s definitely limited, but my therapist says I need to go out with friends and I agree. It’s just the day after that’s the issue

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I think it's about recognising your own limits (in terms of your mental health). I'm never going to give up drinking, but I prioritise good wine over drinking for the sake of it. Similarly I try not to drink if my mental health is already feeling a bit delicate. 

And I think giving up drinking (in moderation) could be avoidance behaviour here. 

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2 hours ago, thistooshallpass1996 said:

I have thought about giving up drinking but I feel like I’d be missing out on so many experiences. I hardly ever drink and when I do it’s definitely limited, but my therapist says I need to go out with friends and I agree. It’s just the day after that’s the issue

I agree with you and @Jen_90 on this one. Myself, I'm not a fan of drinking. It doesn't do anything for me and I personally believe the impact it has on our health is not worth these momentary highs it supplies. However, I'd say I'm the minority on that. Most people drink on a night out have 'fun', it's a societal norm. The next day they may have a hangover and that's about it, whereas you start getting anxiety to do with your OCD. Stopping drinking in this context could be an avoidance as Jen said and if you enjoy it then you should not let your OCD stop you. 

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11 minutes ago, FlyingRocket said:

Stopping drinking in this context could be an avoidance as Jen said and if you enjoy it then you should not let your OCD stop you. 

Just a note on this.  I like drinking beer.  I enjoy this in a social setting.  There is an increasing range of 0% alcohol beers around now.  I am confident of going out for a drink without the worry of after effects.

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