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OCD, A girl, Jail & Living in Exile


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I wanted to tell my story to see if anyone can relate.

I was dating a girl last year, I've struggled with minor levels of OCD for my whole life.  The girl had an incident last year which really triggered my need to check on her constantly that she was ok.

This eventually led to the breakdown of the relationship as of course she thought this was controlling.  Eventually I was given a restraining order because I was still calling her up to hundreds of times a day.  The court in Spain didn't let me give any evidence or afford me a fair trial.  They gave no consideration for my mental health or the fact that when I couldn't call it drove me regularly to suicide to the point I was held involuntarily in a mental health hospital.

I was threatened with I either plead guilty or I will have to stay in pre-trial detention for up to 2 years until a trial can take place.

But of course a piece of paper (restraining order) doesn't take away the feelings of needing to check she is ok.  I left my home so she could at least feel safe but of course eventually I started calling again.

I'm seeing psychiatrists and psychologists and making every effort to be better, but the government of Spain allows no acceptance of mental health they call my friends constantly telling them they are going to punish me when they find me.  They have requested my extradition from several countries while I've been living in exile.

I feel I'm being tortured not only by my OCD and need to check on her but by a government who is pursuing me with no regard to mental health or the fact I'm making the efforts to get better.

I hate that even gave me a label of an abuser because I couldn't stop calling as I was charged with gender violence.  I don't feel I was abusive just misunderstood, In the past I've become deeply obsessed with calling other people, businesses, etc.

I dated other people in the past who with time were able to understand my issues but it's been months now and I still feel constantly tortured by the need to call her and with everyday the situation gets worse.  I don't know how I can continue trying to get better with the constant threats from a government that I feel would never afford me a fair trial.

I always had every intention of returning to Spain once I felt I wouldn't have the urge to check on her but they are insistent on dragging me back to Spain in handcuffs.

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Hello,

If I am reading correctly I think I understand your point, that the OCD/mental health problems have caused the hundreds of calls, not too dissimilar what happened in the film Dirty Filthy Love perhaps.  However, at the same time that person was unwillingly part of your compulsions and that wasn't fair on her so I do understand the courts asking you to desist from contacting her.   It really is not about having understanding partners you mention towards the end, it's the OCD that's the problem for you.

In terms of a fair trial, you have admitted the offence so it's more about how lenient the court will be.  I don't know if you already have but I would wonder if your best course of action would be to get good legal support to help with the mitigation to show it was caused by mental health problems not malice?   Perhaps an OCD specialist could also write a report to support this, however the court may wish to appoint their own mental health specialist to maintain independence so your legal adviser would need to check with the courts if a UK specialist would be considered acceptable.  

The key point is to focus on treatment, because showing the court you're making progress will be helpful. 

I wish you luck.

Ashley

 

 

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